What should I do? I think I'm loosing my feelings towards Nikita, it's just...We've hurt each other too many times. Is this what love feels like? We hurt each other and pretend that it was nothing? Today we were at a party and I feel like everything is my fault. As if I should've never asked her out in the first place. We would never be in this position if it wasn't for me. It was...all my fault, I'm the reason she got hurt. The reason why our friendship is different, the reason why...Everything went downhill for the both of us. Maybe I shouldn't live anymore, not after what I've done to her. I-I-I hurt her worse then Jane did too me, then again we both hurt each other. Shizue...Ame lets out a tear. I'm no good for anyone, especially not Nikita. I should just be left on my own shouldn't I?
"No Ame, don't think like that. You've changed all our lives for the better."
Oh really, tell that to Nikita, she seems more depressed then before I ever asked her out.
"Ame, it's not your fault, so what. I'm here to help both of you out."
We're never going to be the same Shizue, never. End of, we're never going to have the same friendship again.
"Stop thinking like that, you told me you loved her."
And I do love her, that's why I want to end this. It's as if fate doesn't want me to be with her. Is it a coincidence that I'm placed by two girls in two of my classes that have the same interests as me and don't think of them negatively?
"Well Ame it depends on you, you can change fate can't you? Why don't you try it and see later.
Shizue, it's been six months since I asked her out, it won't work. I'm facing the facts and...My inner demons.
"What exactly do you mean inner demons?"
My thoughts...They get out of control and can over take my body, it doesn't help the fact that she's always on my mind too and the fact that...She has corrupted me beyond my limits, as if she wants me too suffer, taking advantage of Nikita like that, warping her stories into complete lies, trying to get you to stop being friends with me, getting her friends to hate me. Ame's thoughts began to get out of control.
LIES I TELL YOU, THEY'RE ALL LIES AND SHE DESERVES TO SUFFER AS MUCH AS I DO, NO MUCH WORSE. SHE NEEDS TO SUFFER MORE THEN I DO!
SHE
DESERVES
NOTHING! Ame began laughing hysterically.
"Okay Ame you need to calm down for a bit, you wanna talk about it?"
SHI-zue, I'm sorry you had to see me like that,this is what I meant by thoughts overwhelming me, it's as if they want to control me and make my life a living hell, I warn you and Nikita, don't go near me when this happens, especially when there's a knife or a weapon nearby. I guess if...She does this to me then my thoughts contort me and make me do twisted things that I don't want to do. Is it my fault?
"No Ame, it's not your fault."
All I can say is maybe if I had asked her out in person rather then by letter things would've changed. Everything could've been better, maybe we could've gotten together and I wouldn't feel this way.
You know what Shizue, I just need time by myself, I'll see you around I guess.
YOU ARE READING
Sticks and Stones: The Love I Could Never Have
Teen FictionWARNING ALTHOUGH THIS IS LOOSELY BASED OFF OF MY LIFE ALL CHARACTERS AND ALL EVENTS ARE COMPLETELY FICTIONAL!!!!!!!!! An average highschool student called Ame transfers to a new school called Fuyashi High in hopes of getting away from bullying but h...
