sex partners // louis

Chapter 34

I go to the bathroom down the hall and shut the door quietly behind me. I take a deep breath and look at myself in this mirror. Damn ugh. My face looks fatter and I have these dark circles under my eyes.
I lean over the toilet and pull my hair back, sighing.

I stick my finger down my throat and hold it there until i start gagging. I hear a knock on the door and jump up, wiping my finger on my pants. "Abby?" Shit. Shit shit shit. It's Louis. I open the door and smile a little bit. "Hi, Lou." I say, trying to act calm. "What the hell are you doing?" "Uh, peeing?" "What was that noise?" he asks. I suck in my breath and say "A fart?" He shakes his head slightly. "If you think I'm going to take that as a fart, you are so wrong." "Fine, I was sick. Okay?" "Ab, I'm not stupid. Were you gagging yourself?" I feel my face whiten when he asks me this. How did he know? I can't get away with anything. "No." "Really? Stop lying." "Fine. FUCKING FINE." "Why?" his voice cracks. "Look at me. Fucking look at me. Do you see this?" I ask, pulling at my shirt and pinching my thighs. "I think you look fine. You're mine and I don't give a damn what you look like. I love you." "Yeah, well I do. And I can't do this." He pulls me into a hug, a frown evident on his face.

"Ab, I can't believe you sometimes." he says, his mouth by my ear. "What's that mean." "It means I can't believe you'd ever want to leave me. I can't believe you'd hurt yourself because of me. I can't believe you don't think you're perfect enough." I sigh, but don't say anything in response. "I just don't understand. I love you, isn't that enough?" I feel like I've been punched in the gut. Hard. Because he's right. He does love me. Why isn't that enough? Why haven't I realized that it's enough just that he loves me? "Damn." I say, my voice breaking. "What?" he pulls away and looks me in the eye. "I-I never fucking realized how much I need you in my life." He smiles a little, kisses my cheek, and pulls me away from the bathroom. We go into the bedroom again and just lay on the bed together. "When do we go home, Louis?" "We've only been here for like a day, babe." "I know, I know." He snuggles up against me, kissing my cheek again. "Isn't it like 10 in the morning?" "Eh. I ate food. Power's still out. Just go back to sleep. I will too." "Okay. I love you." "I love you too."

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chapter dedicated to @manuweiss
this was gonna be a double update but I'm lazy.