Goldstar's past

Chapter 12: "A death of a loved one."

    Goldpaw's eyes widened. The wail came again. Goldpaw raced to the elders den. Deathsoul, Cherryheart, and Harestep crowded around. Pushing her way through, she discovered something horrid.

"Ghostpelt, no!" Joysoul shrieked. Tears streamed down her face. What happened to the joyous soul she was named after?

"W-what's happening?" Goldpaw breathed. The whiteish gray tom was lying on the ground, still. She waited for the rise and fall of his flank, but it never came. A lump formed in her throat. Ghostpelt's dead. It felt like the whole forest was lying on her shoulders. Her vision blurred and her eyes stung with salty tears. She'd grown close to the old tom when she was a kit. He'd tell her stories about the ancient clans and stories how his mate, Joysoul, was as an apprentice. Goldpaw began to tremble. Grief enveloped her. This was what it felt like, to lose someone you love! Goldpaw let out a wail. 

"Goldpaw!" A voice screamed. "Don't panic, I'm coming!" Bronzepaw.

Then another. Saphirestar. "My kit!"

"No! She's in trouble! Not my sister!" Graypaw. 

It felt like everything stopped to grieve for Ghostpelt. The birds stopped singing. The woodpeckers stopped pecking. Not a single sound, except for a sudden clap of thunder. Then, rain poured down from the skies. Starclan was grieving for Ghostpelt. Bronzepaw dashed inside.

"Goldpaw! What is-" His voice ended with a squeak. "G-ghostpelt!" His lips quivered.

Tigerlily pushed her way in, and let out a painful yowl. Her eyes began to cloud with grief. Her father had just died. "Ghostpelt! No-o!" She continued to wail.

Fawnlake entered and stopped dead in her tracks as her eyes fell on her father. She didn't move at all. She looked frozen. Goldpaw saw pain fill her eyes as tears trickled down her face. Saphirestar entered the den, then gasped.

"No!" She wailed. Graypaw stood behind her, pressing his face in his mother's fur. His whimper was drowned out by many wails and shrieks of grief.

Saphirestar scrambled up to Ghostpelt. "No! No, no, no!" She choked up. "Not my former mentor! You taught me everything! You can't be gone!" Goldpaw watched as her mother cried. She'd never seen her mother so torn up. Except when she asked about her father. Darksoul stood in the back of the den. A tear slipped down his face. Instead of the tough tom he was, he looked like a small frightened kit. 

"I didn't expect him to live much longer..."  Frostpelt sighed. "Oh Starclan! Why couldn't you send a sign so I could have healed him! Why?!" She broke off into a huge sob. 

"There must have been some herb to cure him!" Darkpaw choked. "Catmint maybe? No! Tansy! Maybe he ate poisen... Yarrow?! Juniper berries?!" She frantically listed herbs, but stopped as Frostpelt lifted her tail over Darkpaw's mouth.

"He's dead." Frostpelt mumbled. "There's nothing we can do." Her shoulders sagged as she headed to her den to get the supplies to clean Ghostpelt's body for vigil. Darkpaw followed, tail dragging.

"No! He can't be gone forever! I thought you were suppose to be medicine cats!" Joysoul snarled as she shoved her way in front of Frostpelt and Darkpaw. Darkpaw stepped backward, her ears flattened against the rain. "You should have saved him! Given him herbs! You should have done something! It's all your fault!" Joysoul continued her rant.

"We did everything we could, Joysoul." Frostpelt murmured softly. "You know there are things we can't con-"

"IT OBVIOUSLY WASN'T ENOUGH!" Joysoul shrieked and scratched Frostpelt's muzzle. Frostpelt yowled in pain. Darkpaw growled and batted her paws to get Joysoul away. "AND YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING, TOO!" Joysoul rammed Darkpaw, sending her flying into the clearing. With a thud, she landed on her side.

"Darkclaw! Tigerlily! Deathsoul! And..." Blacktail hesitated, obviously frightened by Joysoul's aggression. "Mintleaf! Help me get her in the den!" The five cats cautiously padded up to the ranting she-cat.

"... It should be you! Instead of him!" Joysoul rasped. "And now my mate is dead! DEAD! And I-" She cut off with a yowl as Blacktail wrapped his paws around her and took her to the ground.

"Grab her scruff!" Blacktail grunted as he tried to conquer the squirming elder. Darkclaw took her scruff.  Darksoul hesitated, he was frightened by his outraged mother. No cat should ever be afraid of their mother. Goldpaw trembled as she watched Joysoul thrash around. Bronzepaw pressed his flank against her's.

"I think she's gone insane..." Bronzepaw muttered. Goldpaw nodded, unable to speak.

"Joysoul! Stop!" Tigerlily cried out. Her cry was painful. The squirming cats froze and turned to look at Tigerlily. Goldpaw's mentor looked devestated. "What have you turned into?! You are not the mother who kitted me! You're someone totally different!" Tigerlily dashed into the warriors den. Joysoul looked grief-stricken as she realized what she has done.

"W-wait!" Joysoul's wail was almost drowned out by thunder. "What have I done? I'm so sorry!" Joysoul rushed over to Frostpelt who was rubbing her muzzle with her paw. "Frostpelt, please forgive me! I don't blame you!"

"It's ok, Joysoul, calm down." Frostpelt muttered calmly. "I know you loved Ghostpelt very much, and I'm sorry he is gone. I tried everything-" She gasped. "Darkpaw!" Frostpelt bounded over to the limp apprentice.

"Did I k-kill her?!" Joysoul wailed.

"N-o." Darkpaw meowed, shakily. "But for an elder, you are pretty strong!"

"She's fine." Frostpelt replied. "She's just shaken up a bit. I'll give her some thyme. I'll have to make sure to give some to Fawnlake, too... Oh! And the rest of the elders... And Tigerlily, too!"

While she listed of the cats who needed thyme, Goldpaw slipped into the warriors' den. She shook the rain off her pelt and fluffed it up for warmth. She was Tigerlily in the back, whimpering.

"Tigerlily?" Goldpaw mewed. "Are you ok?"

"Go away, Goldpaw." She grunted in reply.

"I'll take that as a no." Goldpaw trotted over to Tigerlily and started grooming her fur. "Let it out, Tigerlily. You can tell me anything, you know."

"Fine!" Tigerlily wailed. "First, my father died! Then my mother turns into a complete psychopath!" 

"She was just grieving. Wouldn't you do the same?" Goldpaw tried to calm the she-cat.

"No!" Tigerlily's yowl made Goldpaw jump. "I would never attack our medicine cats!"

"She was driven by grief." Goldpaw argued. Tigerlily sighed.

"Is she still ranting?" Tigerlily mewed.

"No, she realized what she has done." Goldpaw reported. "Just relax, ok? When the rain stops, I'll go catch you something good." Tigerlily nodded her head and Goldpaw trotted toward the apprentice's den. She was going to sit vigil tonight. Might as well get some sleep. The weight still pressed against Goldpaw's shoulders. Her throat tightened in reminder of the death of a clanmate. Her heart shattered. She plopped down into her moss bed and laid wide awake. Grief clung to her like a tick behind her ear. It wouldn't go away, no matter how many times she tries to shake it off.