The sound of your heart beating

I'm sorry.

I open my eyes. I was surrounded by white walls and light blue curtains.

Where was I? And what happened. "Maya you're awake! Thank god." Cal said getting up from the chair and sitting beside me.

"What- where?" I couldn't speak clearly. "You're in the hospital." She tells me.

"Your mom found you in the bath. You lost consciousness. You almost drowned."
I looked confused. I don't remember anything. All i know is that it hurt to breath like someone had punctured my lungs.

"You've been in and out for a couple of days." She tells me. I look around for Drew but he wasn't anywhere in site.

"Where's- where's Drew?" I asked her, she smiled a small smile. "I'll go get him he's in the waiting room." She said getting up and leaving the room.

I waited. I was trying to figure out what had happened. Why did I lose consciousness?

And then it hit me. I remembered. Before i got in the bath I took a couple pills.

Drew walks in with a bright smile on his face like he was happy to see me.

"Hey." He says quietly. I smiled "Hi."

He kisses my cheek and pulls the chair beside my bed and takes my hand.

"I'm glad you're okay." He says holding my hand tightly.

I looked at our hand. Locked together. When I looked in his eyes I saw fear.

Fear of losing me. Fear that I wasn't going to wake up.

"Drew i-" I stopped I couldn't get the words out. He placed his hand on my cheek rubbing my skin with his thumb.

It was so warm and loving. "I need to tell you something." I say. He looks at me and listens.

But before I could even say what I had too a nurse walks in. "Visiting time is over, Mrs. Maya needs to rest." She says.

Drew stands up nods and kisses me. He was right by the door before I shouted.

"I tried killing myself!" He and the nurse looked to me in shock.

Hurt. Hurt field his eyes. "Maya what do you mean?" He said a bit furious.

"I- I took some pills before I got in the bath." I addmited. He let go of the door handle and the nurse ran out of the room for a doctor.

"Maya why?" He asked. I can tell he was mad and hurt all in one.

I couldn't look at him. "I'm broken Drew. I've been back in bad habits for a while. Not eating. Crying. Depressed." I say.

He walks closer to me. "Do you know what would happen if Cal and I lost you?" He says.

"I'm sorry." I say almost in a whisper. "Maya..." He stopped and looked away.

"Drew I'm sorry." I begged. He stopped me. "Me loving you. Does that not matter to you?" He asked.

Tears ran down my face. "Of course it matters Drew. You're what saved me." I say.

He looks at me. I see a tear rolling down his cheek. "I guess not this time. We almost lost you."

He walks out the door. I tried to get out of bed to go after him but the doctor walks in and stops me.

"No no Maya. You need to lay down." He said. All i could do was watch him walk away.

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