Love Me?

Chapter Thirteen

After a few hours, Eir walked out into the hall to find only Loki left waiting on the bench. He looked up at her and smiled weakly.

"She's starting to wake up. She's under stable condition and we can send her out tonight but, she will have to be brought back here for routine check-ups almost every other day depending on how she feels." Eir explained.

"Can I see her?" Loki asked.

Eir stepped aside and Loki practically bolted into the room. His heart sank when he found Elli laying in bed, pale as a ghost and moan in discomfort.

"Her body temperature has become stable as well." Eir said.

Loki pulled out a chair and sat by Elli's side. He delicately took her hand in his and Elli's face scrunched up as she pulled her hand away.

"Too cold." Elli said breathlessly.

"Elli? It's me. Loki." Loki said.

Elli turned her head to face Loki and smiled lazily as her eyes met his.

"Hi." Elli beamed.

Just seeing her smile made Loki feel a whole lot better than before and he smiled weakly.

"What happened?" Elli asked.

"Helblindi...he hurt you." Loki replied.

"Yes." Elli said.

"I'm so sorry, Elli. I'm sorry." Loki told her.

"Why are you sorry?" Elli asked.

"I knew they were coming and I didn't protect you. You're my wife and soon to be the mother of our child. I was supposed to protect you and I failed. I failed you and I'm sorry." Loki explained.

"No. Don't blame yourself. You were not at fault. You never were." Elli spoke.

"Eir told us of what might occur because of what Helblindi did." Loki told her.

"And?" Elli asked.

"It's not good, Elli." Loki replied.

Elli slowly looked down at Loki's hand and took it in hers, despite the cold sensation.

"What is to happen?" Elli asked.

"Dizziness and low blood pressure will happen. That's definite but..." Loki trailed off.

"But what?" Elli asked.

"You may bleed heavily or you could have a miscarriage. There is even a probability of a stillbirth." Loki replied as his voice wavered.

"What?" Elli asked.

"I should have done better. If our child dies, it's my fault. Everything is my fault. I always hurt those I love." Loki told her.

"Stop." Elli said.

"How can I? Our child could die because of me." Loki asked.

"Our child will not die as long as I am alive and well for throughout this pregnancy. And nothing is ever your fault. Nothing that you have gone through is your fault. The blame falls on Laufey and Helblindi for what they've done to us. My love, you could never hurt anyone." Elli explained.

A tear escaped Loki's eyes and Elli lifted her arm to wipe it away.

"But...what if the baby does die?" Loki asked.

"I don't know and I don't wish to know." Elli replied.

"Eir said after a few more minutes here, you're going to be released and can come rest in our chambers." Loki told her.

"Why am I so cold?" Elli asked.

"Whatever Helblindi did to you, caused a thin layer of ice to cover your womb. Eir cannot see the baby because of the blockage." Loki explained.

"Will it go away?" Elli asked.

"We don't know. We don't know anything." Loki replied.

"I'm scared, Loki." Elli said.

"I know. I am too," Loki confessed. "And now, we have a war."

"What's going to happen to us?" Elli asked.

"I haven't got a clue on what we're going to do." Loki replied.

"Will we be safe?" Elli asked.

"If we are cautious of what we do and who we speak to, we might be." Loki told her.

"I'm sorry." Elli said.

"What?" Loki asked.

"It's all my fault. It always was." Elli cried.

"No. You mustn't blame yourself, Elli," Loki told her as he pushed back some hair behind her ear. "None of this is your fault. We fell in love and when two people fall in love, you cannot simply tear them apart for their hearts have become one. If you tear the heart, it'll die. Two lovers torn apart would die without one another and that's how we are. We are not at fault for the desires of our hearts."

Loki squeezed Elli's hand and laid his hand over her belly. He felt the coldness of her belly and he let out a shaky breath as he did.

"How are mother and father and Thor doing?" Elli asked.

"They left hours ago from the waiting area. I waited. I had to know you were alright." Loki replied.

"Were they upset?" Elli asked.

"No. They would never be upset with you. You're an angel, Elli. If they were upset with anyone, it would be me." Loki told her.

"Let's not think about them and let's think about us. That's all that matters to me." Elli spoke.

"Well then, let's get you out of this bed and back to our chambers. I will have your dinner arranged to be brought over so that we can dine there." Loki told her.

"Alright." Elli said.

Loki stood up from his seat and held Elli's hand and wrapped an arm around her shoulder as he helped her sit up on the bed. Elli moaned in discomfort and Loki furrowed his brow.

"Are you alright? Did I hurt you?" Loki asked.

"No. I'm fine. Just a little weak is all." Elli replied.

Elli winced as she moved her legs over the edge of the bed and Loki helped her stand. She wobbled at first but quickly regained her footing as Loki wrapped his arm around her waist and held her close. Loki carefully walked back to his chambers and Elli furrowed her brow as she looked out the window.

"What is it?" Loki asked.

"The sun has gone down." Elli replied.

"Yes...you slept for a long time." Loki told her.

"How long were you up waiting for me?" Elli asked.

"Ever since you fainted." Loki replied.

"Loki..." Elli trailed off.

"I had to know you were alright. Your mother and brother told me countless times to take a rest but I couldn't." Loki explained.

"Well, now we can rest together." Elli said.

They finally made it to their chambers and Loki helped Elli change into her nightgown. He guided her under the covers and helped her sit up as he fluffed her pillow.

"Loki, I can manage now. Thank you." Elli said.

"Okay. I'll go retrieve our dinner for us. Are you hungry?" Loki asked.

"Very." Elli replied with a weak smile.

Loki kissed Elli's cheek before exiting the room and walking towards the dining room. There, he was handed a tray of food by one of the kitchen servants and thanked them. Before leaving, he was stopped by Frigga.

"How is she?" She asked.

"She feels somewhat better than before but she's still weak." Loki replied.

"Have you told her?" Thor asked.

"Of course I have." Loki said as he furrowed his brow.

"And how did she take it?" Odin asked.

"She didn't take it well but she didn't take it badly either." Loki replied.

"She's going to need all the support she can get...given that Thor, Odin and The Warrior's Three as well as Lady Sif must go to Jotunheim along with our army." Frigga explained.

"So, it's definite. There's going to be a war?" Loki asked.

"We worked it all out with our war advisors. We leave in two days time." Thor told him.

"I guess I should tell her then." Loki said.

"Yes. She'll be upset but, she needs to know." Frigga told him.

Loki nodded his head and walked back to his chambers. Inside the room, he set the tray in her lap and then laid himself on the other side of the bed. The two ate together and Loki sighed as he did.

"What troubles you?" Elli asked.

"Your mother told me that your brother, friends and your father will be travelling to Jotunheim with the army in two days time." Loki explained.

"That early?" Elli asked.

"Yes." Loki replied.

"I've never been apart from them for any type of war elated issues." Elli confessed.

"I've seen what wars can do to people." Loki said.

"And?" Elli asked.

"They tear families and lovers apart. I've watched children and wives beg their father and husband to stay. I've watched women cling to their lover's legs wailing in despair knowing that they could die in the blink of an eye. The screams of agony from those who've learned of the death of their father, husband or lover have stuck with me for so many years. Wars do not only risk the lives of those fighting, but they destroy the lives of those who stand behind those fighters. Those who survive never return the same man. They're distant from everyone. A war does so many terrible things to so many good people." Loki explained.

"None of those things will ever happen to us. We're both strong people, well, you're stronger than me." Elli told him.

"No I'm not." Loki scoffed.

"Yes you are. Look back at your life and look at how far you've come from it. You've been through so much but you never let any of that stop you. I had everything given to me, Loki. I am in no way stronger than you." Elli explained.

Loki smiled weakly as Elli brought her hand up to cup his cheek.

"But, my kind have uneven odds against Asgard. Our resources are extremely limited due to the climate we live in. Before your army leaves, please make sure that your father and brother do not harm my father and brother." Loki told her.

"Why? They caused you so much distress." Elli asked as she furrowed her brow.

"I know what they have done to me and I hate them for it, but, they are still my family. I hate them with every fiber of my being but please ensure they do not get killed. Just let your father weaken them." Loki explained.

"I still don't understand how you can say that. We're your family now, Loki." Elli said as she took her hand in his.

"Yes, but...they are the only ones left in my life that have any memory of my mother. I've seen portraits of her and she was beautiful. But if they are gone, the memories of my mother will die along with them. And as much as my father wants to be with her, I cannot let that happen." Loki explained.

Elli sighed as she nodded her head.

"And the longer he is alive...the more he will want to be with his wife. It will pain him every day for as long as he shall live." Loki told her.

"What about your brother?" Elli asked.

"He only hated me because he believed me to kill our mother. I know it was not my fault for what happened to her but, he was young and naive. My father was bitter because his wife was gone. They both just needed a scapegoat for her death and I just happened to be there. My brother was never really at fault. My father has only but himself to blame. And yes, I hate Helblindi for what he's done to us but he's just a stupid man who cannot think for himself." Loki explained.

"I'll see what I can do then." Elli spoke softly.

Loki smiled as he laid his hand over her belly and Elli sighed as she laid her head against his shoulder.

"We should eat before it gets cold." Loki said.

Elli chuckled as she nodded her head and sat up straight. The two ate their dinner quietly and Loki would occasionally glance over at Elli.

"What is it?" She asked turning to face him.

"Oh, it's nothing." Loki replied.

"You can tell me." Elli grinned.

"I just wanted to tell you that I love you." Loki told her.

"I love you, Loki...and I always will." Elli said.

She leaned forward and laid a kiss to his lips. Before she could pull away, Loki cupped her left cheek in his and pulled her in for another kiss. Elli whimpered through the kiss and Loki took the tray of food and set it on the nightstand before wrapping Elli in his arms and laying her on the bed.

"May I? Are you alright to?" Loki asked.

Elli nodded her head and Loki grinned as he kissed her neck.

"I'll be gentle. I promise." Loki whispered.