Love Me?

Chapter Fifteen

Hours has passed and Elli knelt down in front of the fireplace, poking at the logs to put them under the fire better. Her eyes were red and puffy and she sniffled every so often. She had still been crying and rubbed her belly as she stood up and watched the fire crackle away. Loki had not come back and she began to think he never would. Elli looked outside and saw that the moon was beginning to rise and she sighed as she went to change into her nightgown. Minutes later, she sat on the bed and brushed her hair. She heard the door open slightly and quickly turned to find Loki peeking his head into the room.

"Elli, I..." Loki trailed off.

She scoffed as she turned back around and went back to brushing her hair.

"Please, don't be mad. I'm so sorry. I just snapped. I love you, Elli. I do." Loki told her.

He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.

"I've cleared my mind and I am sorry." Loki said breathlessly.

Elli slowly turned to look at Loki and narrowed her eyes at him.

"You hurt me." Elli said softly.

"Elli, please, I-"

"You said you'd never hurt me." Elli interjected.

"I didn't mean to. Elli, I love you. I would never hurt you purposely. I just snapped. I was upset." Loki explained as he ran over to Elli.

He knelt down in front of Elli and put his hands on her knees. He squeezed them softly and looked up at Elli hoping she would look back. She did not.

"I know that my apologies will never be enough but I am so sorry. I never intended for you to get hurt by my words." Loki told her.

"Do you think that our marriage is nothing but a sham? I gave myself to you so I could be with you forever. How could you ever think that I would ever hate you. Do you actually think that I would turn my back on you after everything we've been through? How terrible of a person do you think I am?" Elli explained angrily, as her eyes welled with tears.

"No. I don't think any of those things. Our marriage is not a sham. Our marriage is something beautiful. You would never turn your back on me because I know you love me too. No matter how much you seem to hate me now, you still love me. And you are not a terrible person. You are the kindest, most loving, pure soul that I have ever encountered and I am so privileged to have you as my wife and soon to be mother of my child." Loki told her as he sobbed.

Elli stood up from the bed and walked away from him. Loki stood up and slowly walked after her.

"Maybe it's you who wants an annulment? Hmm?" Elli asked as she turned around to face him.

"What? No, I'd never." Loki replied.

"You were so passionate about thinking I would want one, maybe you, subconsciously, want one. How do I know if your supposed love for me is false in its nature. What if you never loved me and this is your way of getting rid of me!" Elli exclaimed.

"How can you say that! You know I loved you the moment I set my eyes on you. These thoughts of yours are absurd." Loki told her.

"And yours weren't before?" Elli retorted.

"I have told you. I snapped, Elli. I never meant what I told you. I was just told that my brother was dead. What more do you want from me?" Loki told her.

"Nothing." Elli replied.

"What?" Loki asked.

"Nothing. I want nothing else from you." Elli told him.

"Elli..." Loki trailed off.

"You told me that you didn't want to hurt me and that you would never do it. Yet, here I am...hurt beyond all belief. And by my husband, out of all the people in this realm, you had to dig that sharp dagger into my heart and twist it like some sort of animal. You lied to me. I don't want any more of your lies! You said you loved me and then you make me feel terrible by assuming I would want an annulment. I don't want any more of you or your love! I want nothing from you, Loki! You're a liar and I never want to see you again!" Elli screamed.

Loki held his hands up and was taken aback by her words and by the severity of them.

"Elli, you don't mean that." Loki whispered.

"I mean every word of it! You hurt me. Your father hurt me, your brother hurt me...even my own father hurt me. But you. You hurt me the most. No one in these nine realms could have hurt me more than you did today. How would you feel if I hurt you!" Elli yelled.

"What do you mean?" Loki asked.

"What do I mean? You're a runt, Loki and you'll never be more than that. The runt son of a Jotun king who killed his mother during birth!" Elli cried out.

"Elli, stop this! You're not making any sense." Loki seethed.

He gripped her wrists tightly and Elli whimpered in pain as he pulled her forward so her hands laid on his chest.

"I know you don't mean anything that you've just said." Loki said through gritted teeth.

"And what if I did. What if I've been holding it all back for so long, hmm? Just like you assumed all those things about me. Maybe I'm not as pure as you think I am!" Elli exclaimed.

She began to hit at his chest and Loki tried his best to stop her. The two struggled with one another for a few moments and Loki groaned as Elli sobbed.

"Elli, you must calm yourself. For the baby. Stop this madness. I told you I'm sorry. I love you, Elli. Please, stop this." Loki pleaded with her.

"No, you're a good for nothing, monster!" Elli exclaimed.

"I know you're trying to hurt me, Elli, but I know full well that you don't mean this. You love me and you always will. Just as I do to you. You're trying to make me feel the way you do and it isn't working. Just stop, calm yourself and let us go to bed." Loki told her.

Elli sobbed loudly as he was finally able to steady her arms and she glared at him.

"But what if I'm not!" Elli screamed.

Loki was about to speak when Elli's eyes widened.

"Ah!" Elli gasped.

"Elli?" Loki asked.

He let her wrists go and Elli balanced herself by holding onto the arm of the couch. Her other hand pressed down onto her belly and she let out another groan as a sharp pain jolted through her. Loki rushed towards her and she began to cry out in pain.

"Elli, please tell me what's happening." Loki said breathlessly.

He put his hand on her belly and Elli screamed, causing Loki to jump back.

"No...no, no no!" Elli exclaimed.

"What is it!" Loki gasped.

Elli reached under her night dress and pulled her hand back. The two stared at her hand stained with blood and Elli turned to look into Loki's eyes.

"I think it's a miscarriage." Elli whispered.

"No. Elli, please. No, it can't be." Loki sobbed as he rushed over to Elli.

"It hurts, Loki. Please, help me!" Elli gasped.

"You're going to be alright, Elli. We need to get you to Eir." Loki told her.

"What if it's a miscarriage? It won't be alright. I've lost our baby because of my foolishness. Ah! It hurts so much. Oh, gods, I can't breathe." Elli spoke hoarsely.

"Elli, calm down and just hold onto me." Loki told her.

As he went to pick her up into his arms, he could see some blood stained on her nightdress. Once in his arms, Elli gripped his shirt, tightly and he could see a few drops of blood on the floor. Elli cried and dug her head into his chest. He paced down the hall in long strides and maids and servants around them stopped in their tracks to stare and whisper among one another about what was happening.

"I'm sorry, Loki. I'm so sorry. I was stupid. If I hadn't gotten so worked up, I might not have lost our baby." Elli sobbed.

"Don't say that. It may not be a miscarriage. Don't work yourself up over this. I know you didn't mean anything you said to me. Just breathe slowly and deeply. We're almost there, love. Can you hold on?" Loki told her.

She nodded her head as her brow furrowed her nose scrunched up. She gritted her teeth together and Loki felt the bottom of his shirt become wet. He kicked the doors to the healing rooms open and the healers rushed over to him. Eir walked into the room and her eyes widened upon seeing Elli.

"What has happened?" Eir asked.

"We got into an argument and she started to bleed and said she was in pain." Loki explained.

He laid her on the bed and Elli moaned in pain. Sweat began to form on her brow and Loki sat on the edge of the bed, his hand in hers. He hushed her softly as Eir and the healers did their best to find out what was happening.

"Loki, you must wait outside." Eir told him.

Loki nodded his head and stood up.

"No!" Elli called out. "I need him here with me. I can't do this without him."

Eir sighed as she nodded her head and Loki sat back down on the bed. He caressed the top of her head and hushed her whenever she whimpered.

"Hey...look at me, Elli. Just look in my eyes and you'll be alright." Loki whispered.

Elli opened her eyes and turned to look up at him. She smiled weakly and squeezed his hand softly to tell him that she in fact alright. Loki leaned forward and laid a soft kiss to her lips, which Elli returned hurriedly. He cradled the her head and smiled as he looked at her. As the healers did their work, Elli did not feel a thing since she was so lost in Loki's gaze.

"I'm sorry." Elli whispered.

"You have nothing to apologize for." Loki said softly.

"I've lost our baby." Elli said as her voice cracked.

"Shh. Don't say that. We don't know for certain." Loki told her.

"But I was bleeding, Loki." Elli spoke.

"And Eir said that might occur. Don't think about it, Elli. Just relax and calm your nerves." Loki told Elli.

"Loki?" Elli asked.

"Yes." Loki retorted.

"Will you ever hurt me again?" Elli asked.

"Never. I promise that the next time I ever hurt you again, will be the day that I die." Loki replied.

Elli chuckled softly and the doors opened. Loki and Elli turned to see who it was and found Frigga, Thor, and Odin storming into the room.

"We heard the maids saying that Elli was in pain and that there was a fight between you two." Odin told them.

Odin and Thor stood off to the side as Frigga made her way to the other side of the healing bed.

"It is true. We had a small argument but all is better now. She began to feel sharp pains in her belly and there was some bleeding." Loki explained as he looked over at Eir.

The healers were monitoring her heart rate as well as the baby's and Eir was using medical equipment near Elli's intimate area. Elli gasped at the sudden intrusion of the metal and Loki hushed her as he looked down at her.

"Eyes on me." Loki told her.

"Is she alright?" Thor asked.

"We are not sure yet but I cannot have all of you in here. I can allow Loki since Elli needs him for support. I need my space." Eir told them.

"Absolutely." Frigga said.

She walked towards Odin and Thor and pushed them out of the room, despite their bickering to stay and see if she would be alright. Frigga closed the door and Elli squeezed Loki's hand.

"Now, this may hurt and you will feel some pressure." Eir warned.

Seconds later, Elli gasped and Loki hushed her as he caressed her face.

"Shh, it's just me and you, darling. Just you and me and-"

Loki cut himself off when the soft pounding of the baby's heartbeat could be heard.

"And the baby." Loki finished as he laughed.

Elli laughed as well and Loki leaned down and kissed Elli several times as he caressed her cheek. Eir removed her instruments from Elli and stood up from the bed.

"See, Elli. I told you it was nothing to be afraid of. Our child is well and alive." Loki told her as he beamed.

Elli giggled as she kissed him once more and Eir smiled weakly at the two.

"The child is alive but is weak. The stress that Elli put upon herself caused the baby to become distressed. Hence, the bleeding. The heart rate is weak and Elli will have to stay bedridden and care free for several days until the baby is fully recovered." Eir explained.

"Of course. Elli will not have anything to worry about. I'll give her whatever she desires." Loki spoke.

"She must rest. Bring her back to your chambers and I call for me when she first awakes so I may examine her again." Eir instructed.

"We will." Loki said.

He picked up Elli into his arms once more and walked out of the healing rooms. There, Frigga, Thor, and Odin crowded around him and Loki chuckled.

"Elli is alright. She worked herself up so the baby became distressed. The child is alive but weak. She just needs bed rest to fully recover." Loki explained.

"Thank the gods!" Odin exclaimed as he chuckled.

Frigga kissed Elli's head and Thor glared at Loki.

"If I ever hear that you two were fighting and I find out you ever hurt her, I'll hurt you in ways that you'll never imagine." Thor warned.

"Thor!" Elli gasped.

"I'm just protecting you, sister." Thor chuckled.

Loki chuckled nervously along with him and Frigga helped Loki and Elli back to their rooms. There, he laid her in the bed and made sure she was comfortable. He kissed her softly and soon enough, Elli fell heavily asleep. Loki smiled weakly and sighed when he felt Frigga's hand on his shoulder.

"You better take good care of her." Frigga said softly.

"I will. I always will." Loki whispered.