Hustle' N' Grind

1

I don't really know if I ever had a goal in life. My hustle was my grind, and my grind was my hustle. I never asked questions, I just did what I had to do. My life took a turn for the worse when I was about eight years old.

Me and Momma were driving around the city on a night drive like we always did. It was something we did to just relax, everything looked better at night. The drives would only last about twenty minutes so I would enjoy each ride.

We were just about home when Momma saw a road block ahead. Being smart she turned around and took a shortcut. Through the gutters of the hood. She was driving slowly to avoid the potholes in the road, when it happened. The window on the driver's side shattered and the car spun out of control. I screamed for Momma to step but she never made a sound. When the car did stop it threw me to the other side of the backseat. I was pulled out roughly by some crackhead. I landed on the ground and he quickly got in. I heard a hard thud before the car speeds off. Momma lays there motionless, her body just limp. I crawl over to her. The smell of blood hits my nose. "Momma?", I ask. I held her head in my lap. I knew something was wrong. Blood was running out of her mouth. "Listen to me darling.......Momma is going on a little trip okay." she started. "I want you to know I'll be just fine. Now I need to close my eyes to get ready for my trip okay baby." she said. Her chest rose up and down slowly. "But Momma I don't want you to go." I started. "Uh uh, who did I raise?"she asked weakly, barely a whisper. "A warrior, but Momma..." I stop mid sentence. Her eyes were closed and she wasn't breathing anymore. "Momma? Momma?!" I screamed. People sat on their stoop and watched this happen. Nobody even tried to help me. Momma's blood was all over my clothes and hands. Tears ran down my cheeks rapidly, blurring my vision. I need to close my eyes to get ready for my trip, okay. The words kept playing themselves over and over in my head. I realized then that Momma wasn't going to wake up. I wouldn't get tucked in anymore and I couldn't see her smile anymore. Momma was gone, and I couldn't get her back. It took the cops three hours to get there. It took even longer for the coroner and detectives to clean up the scene. Everybody in that neighborhood saw who did it, I know they did. But they didn't say shit! At least thirty people were out there not including the ones watching from their windows. All of them claimed the same thing. "I didn't see anything." it was the same line over and over again. So in my eyes they all killed my mother, because they were letting her murderer get away. A crackhead from the neighborhood did it, but don't nobody know who it was? That's like saying Flavor Flav is sexy. The shit sounds ridiculous. An eight year old little girl is going without her mother for the rest of her life, but all these people can think about is not being a snitch. I watched them take Momma away in a body bag, and the residents had the nerve to look sad and heartbroken. My heart was broken and Momma's love was taken from me.

The funeral was terrible. Yeah the family was there, but it's like everybody just wanted to forget her. I didn't. Because the things I chat witnessed, I felt I needed to remember. Not only for myself, but for Momma. I needed to remember for her. I thought about how she died and the way she smelled. She smelled of Rare Gold perfume and blood. Rare Gold, that was Her favorite perfume. Anytime she was going somewhere, the scent could always be found in the atmosphere. Almost as if it were her way of inviting you to tag along to come with her.

Now the thing that blew me out of the water is what happened after the funeral, nobody wanted anything to do with me. Suddenly cousins cousins couldn't come out to play, and aunties and uncles were too busy to have me around. Now I never knew who my father was, so the only person to look after me was Momma's husband. Big mistake there.

I was playing with with my dolls when he came in the house from work. I didn't have any babysitter to look after me. Usually after school I was only home by myself for two hours at most. Anyway, this day was different. Something just felt wrong.