Changed {Martin Garrix Fanfiction}

Chapter 50

Chapter Fifty - Regret 

- Madeline's POV - 

I feel numb. I feel so tired. I didn't get one minute of sleep. Now, daylight is beginning to arise and I have no idea what to do. My stomach hurts and I'm confused. I'm mentally and physically exhausted. 

My eyes trail from the ceiling over to my left, where I see Jayce. He's in what seems to be a peaceful slumber and I feel my heartbeat quicken. I slowly feel tears starting to prick in my eyes and I look away from him, holding in everything I have. 

I take in a couple deep breaths, unsure of what to do. I need to get out of here. Slowly and carefully, I push the blankets off of me, not wanting to wake Jayce up. When I try and sit up to swing my legs off the bed, a sharp pain shoots up the inside of my legs. 

I suck in breath, cursing my in head at it. It only reminds and brings back every memory of last night. From the way he touched me, to the pain I experienced at first, I don't know what to think about it. This was not how I imagined my first time to be - at all. 

God, I'm so stupid. What the hell was I thinking? The more I start to think about it, I feel regret come over me and I know I have to get away from Jayce. I feel like crying. I just need to cry, that's all I need right now. 

Once I manage to get up, I try my best to ignore some of the pain that's still residing as I gather up all of my clothing. Very quietly, may I add. My eyes flicker from what I'm doing to Jayce every ten seconds or so. He's still sound asleep. I have no idea if he even knew that I was a virgin. Honestly, I was trying my best to not seem like one and I think he fell for it. 

It only makes me feel pathetic and stupid. I shouldn't have done this. This is the biggest mistake I've ever done and I can't get this back. My thoughts frustrate me and I quickly rid myself of the blue t-shirt that he gave me. 

I try my best to fight my tears but some start to come out as I dress back in my clothing from yesterday. I feel like I'm going to get sick to my stomach once I'm finally dressed. I feel gross. The pain has subsided and become more tolerable, but it's still there. 

I wipe my face of its wetness and quickly, I make my way out of his room, not thinking twice about it. I don't even make it to the elevator before all of my tears start to spill out. For the second time in less than twenty-four hours, I'm full on sobbing. 

I almost gasp as that reminds me of him. Martin. Oh my god, oh my god, he cannot find out about this. I'm so freaking stupid. Shit, shit - what's wrong with me? Oh my god, if he finds out, he probably won't ever talk to me again. I start to feel terrified at the thought of him finding out. I don't even know if I can bring myself to look at him the next time I see him. 

I exit the elevator, wiping my face again. Although it doesn't do much good as I just continue to cry. I don't see anyone out yet this morning which I'm thankful for. I don't know where I should go. I have nowhere to go at the moment.