Changed {Martin Garrix Fanfiction}

Chapter 54

Chapter Fifty Four - Dinner from Hell 

- Madeline's POV - 

I've been home for five days and for five days, I have still been an emotional wreck. I can tell my parents, especially my mother, is worried about me. Though, I haven't said much since I came back. Ever since I've come back, it's like nothing has changed.  

My father mainly stays at the church, my mother cooks, the town stays quiet. The only difference is, I haven't opened up my bible in three months and I haven't even put thought into going back to church. 

I never realized how closed off my life was until I went to that camp. There is absolutely nothing to do in this town. Sure, I was excited to leave that place, but I forgot how boring it is here. 

The car ride back to this small town was mostly silent; my mom barely made any conversation. Even if she had tried, I wouldn't have listened. My mind is still focused on him. 

Martin. I miss him. God, I miss him so much. I miss his voice. I miss his eyes. I miss his lips, his touch, his smirk, his intoxicating scent. I miss all of him so damn much. I crave him and I feel like I'm having withdrawals from being away from him. I can't help but not think about if he is thinking about me too. I hope he wouldn't throw away what we had that easily. 

No matter how much I try to think past his green eyes, I can't. He is stuck in my head. No amount of pain he has caused me could mask my feelings for him. I know in every inch of my body that I am in love with him, but I always keep reminding myself of Haley's words. 

I know I need to be strong. She said this will take time and I have come to that reality. I feel like possibly being by myself for the upcoming weeks may help me with this. You know, maybe I could find my own identity and independence. Whether that is here in America or over in London. 

Speaking of which - my mother still hasn't said anything to me about the Oxford thing since I came back. I find that more than weird. I can barely think about this Oxford thing though when my mother... looks the way she does. It terrifies me. 

She has lost so much weight. Her face sinks in around her eyes more. Her skin looks slightly dull and grey. It scares me because she hasn't said anything about why she is like this. For the past two days, it's mainly been my father doing the talking. And boy did I not miss him and his prude mouth. 

"Madeline! Welcome back!" my father immediately embraces me as soon as I walk onto the steps of our front porch. I hug him back slowly, holding myself from fully giving into him. He pulls away and his eyes glance down my body, "I see you found new clothing," he says in a questionable tone. 

I glance down at my body, noticing I'm in a pair of denim shorts. I roll my eyes mentally, hell, they're not even that short, "It got really hot over the summer," I give him a fake smile and I walk past him, into the home I have always lived in. 

Now, as my mother sits down stairs and makes dinner, I can't help but feel lost. This summer, I have always had someone there with me. Haley, Matthew, Martin, even Jayce. I was never by myself and now that I am, I don't like it. I'm afraid I have become a little too dependent on others, but I don't like being alone.