Chapter Thirty Seven - Don't Give Up On Me
- Madeline's POV -
The past two days have been absolute hell for me. I'm sad, angry, confused, in slight shock and denial as well. It feels like this is the loneliest I have ever been, emotionally and physically. I just feel like crawling into a ball and crying for hours. For once in my life, I do not know anything that I can do to help myself.
All of this because I fell for him. I can't wrap my head around the fact that he let me down. After everything we have been through... I don't even get an explanation. He just left. Each thought of him makes me want to throw up. I feel used. I feel neglected. Obviously, we aren't dating, but I did get attached to him... maybe even too much.
I honestly have no idea what is happening to me, but one thing is for sure, my heart hurts. The one thing that keeps bothering me is that I feel like I did something wrong. I don't want to think that, but I can't help but think that it's true.
"Mads," I jump from my thoughts, looking over at the voice. Haley. I gulp and my heart rate speeds up. She doesn't know anything, obviously. So every emotion I have, I am holding in because I have no one to talk to. No one.
"Yeah," I answer lazily, my gaze breaking from her face down to the table we were sitting at me.
"Are you okay?" she asks, leaning over to me some. Shit. I look up at her again, ignoring the blue eyed stare I am receiving from the other direction. I take in deep, yet shaky-like breath.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I shake my head, dismissing her suspicions, "Why?" I ask, trying to make it seem as if nothing is wrong; even though everything is wrong at the moment.
"You just seem.. distant recently," she says with her eyebrows furrowed while her eyes roam my face. I open my mouth immediately to say something, but since I don't know what to say, I close it again, thinking more this time.
"I, um, just kind of missing home, I guess," I tell the best lie I possibly can and I shrug my shoulders carelessly. I practically just told two lies because frankly, I am not missing home at all.
"Mm, it's okay," she says rubbing my arm slightly, "Just call them up or something," she suggest and I nod, trying to make this as believable as possible.
When I still feel his eyes on me, I finally look over to Matthew who has concern dripping from his eyes. Ever since our 'date', as much as I want to think about him and how amazing he is, I just can't. I am stuck on Martin. I'm falling for you. His words now make me shutter and chills run down my back.
"So Matthew," Haley says, leaning over to get a better angle on him, "Anymore cute dates you're gonna take her on?" she says with curious eyes and a smirk. My face flushes slightly. His eyes leave mine and land on her.
"If she would be willing to," he raises one of his eyebrows, a crooked smile appearing on his face, his eyes then glancing at me quickly. I give him a small smile that is kind of forced.
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Changed {Martin Garrix Fanfiction}
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