Inside A Lover's Heart (Criminal Minds Fanfic)

Missing

(A/N: I didn't listen to any music because I wanted my only focus to be on this. I hope it's alright.)

It had been three weeks and four days since our trip. I was living with Ariel because staying in the apartment Spencer and I had once shared was not fair to both of us. Fang whined a lot, for he saw Spencer no more and me only on occasion. He had been staying with Penelope and Derek because of Ariel's allergies. I woke up feeling sick once again. The craving for odd food items I normally wouldn't eat and Spencer's touch rushed through my head as I moved quickly to the bathroom. As I emptied out my stomach, Ariel came into the bathroom and held my hair, tying it back into a bun. The noises of me being sick quickly turned into sobs, Spencer's name hidden between them. Ariel rubbed my back, but it wasn't helping. I couldn't stop crying. I missed him. I missed his sharp cheekbones. I missed his soft, lingering kisses he would give me. I missed the way he would cuddle me when I was sad. I missed suggesting an activity and having him list out the pros and cons, only to have him cave and do what I wanted. I missed him loving me. Everything about being with him had made me happy. I didn't feel happy any longer. Ariel understood, sure, but I felt like there was something she wasn't telling me.

'Why is everything being hidden from me?'

"Jessica, I think you should do what we were talking about last night," she said quietly, her voice soothing.

"You really think I-"

"Come on, Jess. Look at the signs, for fuck's sake. Just do it."

I shrunk away from her now harsh tone. I hadn't been expecting it, but once it happened, I understood. Ariel was through being patient with me. My eyes watched her leave the bathroom before emptying my stomach once more, knowing there was nothing left. I didn't want to believe it. I wasn't ready. This couldn't have been happening. I couldn't remember a time when we hadn't-

"Fuck. Florida," I murmured aloud, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

We had been completely bare that night. No doubt, no hesitation, no sobriety, no clothes, no blankets, no protection. It occurred to me that I hadn't seen any red lately. No period.

I had told him to drink, that I wanted to see him completely shit-faced once in my life. I had pressured him, knowing he didn't like to drink. I was such an asshole.

'I am such an asshole.'

'But, I just wanted him to have fun-'

"Still makes you an asshole, kid," I mumbled to the bathroom tiles.

I scooted across the cold floor to grab the box. Inside were the lie detecter tests that my body needed to take. Moments passed and I went to look at my answer. When I saw it, my heart nearly stopped.

Double pink lines.

Positive.

Positive.

Positive.

"I'm pregnant," I breathed out.

I dropped and cried out silently. I wasn't ready for this, but here it was. There was a baby growing inside of me. I was a single mother. People would think that I was promiscuous, or that I had been struck with an unfortunate factor. Fuck, I wasn't even married-

Spencer.

I had completely forgot he was a factor. He was the father, obviously. I hadn't been with another in that way since I had met him. I felt more panicked. He had no idea. I was completely lost on how I was supposed to tell him. Ariel rushed into the room, her face paled with shock. My panic was about to be doubled.

"Ariel, I'm preg-"

"Spencer is missing. He's been gone for twenty-seven hours."

(A/N #2: I am honestly that gif wow I am pissed at myself. I hope this helps????????)