∞мιѕѕ. perғecт∞

Ch. 1 Broken.

NEW STORIES MOTHER FUDGERS.

Yes, yes. I already have so many stories.

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH THIS CRAP TON OF STORIES?

Ill drown in them.

Ok.

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I quickly wiped away the remaining mascara as I stared at my dead reflection, wanting to smash the reflecting object in front of me. Realising I've been here staring at my horrifying face for almost 10 minutes straight, I decided on a shower. 

I turned the tempature to high, not caring about burning my skin off, it hurts less then the pain I recive from jail, a.k.a School. 

I look at the razor on my shelf, then back down to my legs. Just do it, you havent for a while. 

I take the razor as it slices a new scar, blood flowing from the open wound.

Go die in hell, your just a waste of space on this earth.

Nobody needs you, you were a mistake, a piece of absolute shit. 

You are a pathetic slut, just leave this world, do us a favor for once.

All of the spitting images of the people I envy most come pelting at me, shouting the words Im already all too well used to. Its pathetic how I'm so used to this, yet every single day I come home from school and as soon as my head hits the pillow on my bed, the tears start freely flowing from my clear blue eyes.

The worst thing is, I thought about it again today. I haven't in 6 whole months, I thought I was doing at least 1% better, turns out I'll always be a failure who wants to commit suicide because her life is crap. 

Shit gets thrown at me everyday at school, but what have I done to them? Nothing. No-thing. The only friend I actually have is Madison, even then, shes drifting away slowly. She never knew about my self harm or my one suicide attempt months ago, but even if she was my best friend I wouldn't tell her.

I didn't tell my parents, either, they didn't catch me doing it. Im just too much of a wimp. 

I cant even be successful in committing suicide. Pathetic. I let the blood on my leg flow down the drain, satisfaction releasing through my body. Soon I turned the water off and stepped into the cold air out side of the shower, regretting it almost imediatley. 

I lift up my shirt to see a bruise the size of a base ball. Sighing I decided I once again was keeping secerets from my parents. I hate it when I have to lie to them, but what am I gonna do, tattle to them? That will make my life even worse, if its possible. I grab an ice pack making my way back up stairs wincing as the cold comes in contact with my bare skin.

The one thing thats actually keeping me from going insane, is One Direction, mostly Harry but all of them really brighten my mood, even if it just is a video on youtube, or an interview on T.V. Just listening to their music can make me smile, yet they have no ackknowledge of my existence, I know they are having a good time, so I'm happy for their wonderfull lives.

I get jealous of them, of course, who wouldnt be. They're famous and known all over the world. I know they get hate but I'd take that over the shit I get. If I was famous, no one would touch me. Thats how it goes for everyone. I think thats bull shit. Complete and utter bull shit. Just because someone is famous aand talented dosent mean you should treat them like they're the god of this damned earth! Im not saying people should 'Bully' them, but I dont worship the ground they walk on. They're normal god damn people!

Feeling broken, I lay down on my bed next to the window, as once again I hear the chirps of young childeren all around me. Remembering when I had things so much easier as a child I smiled. I always wish that I could just go back in time and freeze my favourite moments with my parents and my friends from my old home before I moved here in California. 

Ive confided to my cousin about my self harm, hes the only person I've told about it. Me and him are realy close, he taught me to do all kinds of stuff, and I havent seen him in a while now that I think about it.

"Hey mom, we need to visit Jase!" I croak from my room, even my voice, its so dead and dull.

"Im way ahead of ya," She said, in the door way of my room, Jase standing next to her.

"Dylan!" He smiled.

"Jase!" 

This is the first moment I've actually felt happy for once in my life.

And nothing can ruin it this time.