Note: If you were wondering what Dylan's house looks like, its pretty much iCarlys apartment but like a house. lol.
Did you know, studies show that people who sleep with multiple pillows are often lonely and depressed? I sleep with 11 pillows. 11. I think that might count. I realise that I live with no life, no adventure, I am lonely and I am depressed.
My drawings of the boys are finished, and I've learned to keep it in a safe place. Kathy hasn't stopped bugging me though, why cant she get it through her thick skull, that boys only want her for the wrong reason. It bugs the crap out of me when girls think there the centre of the earth, like, I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the earth revolves around the sun, not you.
I started working at a local Cafe, making more money by the week. I've put it all into a piggy bank I'm saving up for a meet and greet to One Direction. It might take a while, but its worth a shot, I cant give up now because I've already started.
I've picked out every single flaw I have, what the boys will like about me, and what they wont like about me. Once I single out these flaws I pick my self apart, coming down to nothing. That's what I am nothing.
You may be thinking, I only feel bad for myself, and I only pelt myself with insults almost every second of every day because I'm looking for attention, but how is that when I don't tell anyone of these insecurities? The worst part is, even if someone is joking and they unintentionally point out a flaw I'm incredibly insecure about, it pushes me over the edge, and I realise someone does notice that one left dimple. Or how my nose is crooked, something. Someone always will find something to make me feel like absolute shit, joking or not, it hurts my feelings, and I feel like I have to fix myself all day to not humiliate myself in front of my peers, not that it matters, they'll make fun of me anyways.
I sighed, laying down on my bed. I opened up Twitter on my laptop. 3 Followers. Why did I make a twitter again? I cant really remember if Maddi made me or if I was just bored. I never go on it anyways. I wonder why I actually have more than 1 follower, the one being Maddi.
The other 2 are just random people I don't know. Their names are in a different language or something. How did they even find me? Weird.
I hopped down the stairs two at a time, hoping I'll actually be in the mood for some food. Heh, that rhymed.
I opened the fridge as it hummed signaling it was on and working. Surprisingly I'm really in the mood for at least a sandwich.
I spread the Peanut butter around the bread as my phone vibrated, the surface below it making it louder and annoying.
"Ello?" A male voice sung through the line.
"Er. Hey?" I said back.
"Who's this?" they asked.
"Well, you called me."
"You called me the other day, I thought you were my mate, Harry." I noticed their british accent.
"Erm. That was a wrong number, I was trying to call my friend Maddi, may I ask who this is?"
"Sorry Love. Promise you wont freak?" Oh god. Could it be?
Then the line went dead.
"F*CK." I shouted.
"DYLAN MARIE DON'T YOU USE THOSE PROFANITIES!" My father yelled from upstairs.
Wait they're home? Since when-
"GET UP HERE NOW!" I stomped up the stairs, my head hung low in shame.
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∞мιѕѕ. perғecт∞
FanfictionLife is a roller coaster. We all ride it. They have ups and downs, but no matter what, It'll always be rough in some way possible. I know others who also commit to self harm, its hard to quit, its like trying to quit drinking as an alcoholic...
