∞мιѕѕ. perғecт∞

Ch. 9 The moment I've been waiting for.

As I cut into my thigh, and one on my wrist. I immediately thought of my old promise.

No matter what, when times get rough, I wont slit those wrists, or thighs or even THINK about ending my life, I dedicate it to the boys. I'm doing this for the boys that bring the only happiness to my life.

 I saw black spots dotting my vision,

Crap, this never happened. I wasn't paying attention and I cut too deep.

Dammit. Im such a f*cking failure.

Why did I have to cut? Louis or one of the boys will find me and my cover will be blown. And I did it in their hotel room! Now I feel bad.

I just hope someone finds me before its too late.

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"Dylan! Wake up!" I heard Louis shouting.

"Wha?" I was still in the shower, freezing water pouring down on me.

"Did she fall asleep in the shower or something?" I heard Zayn shout from the other room.

"No! Theres blood everywhere!" He shouted back, he then looked down at me.

"Its ok Louis. Its my time." I smiled. "I'm ready. I love you, you were like a brother to me, and you took me in, just know that I really appreciate your guys' help." I whispered. 

The last thing I saw, or remember was the boys shouting, and Louis with tears streaming down his face, cries coming from his lips.

I felt my own tears stream down my face; and everything was dark. I no longer heard Louis or the boys, I couldnt feel any smile on my face; or blood on my wrists.

I felt empty.

Bye boys; I'll watch over you.

I woke up in a hospital.

Why wont god just let me die?

Im suffering, its my time to go. 

I wouldnt cry because it was over; I would smile because it had happened. But now, now I cant smile.

In a way I want to die. I think its better to die than live on this planet. This planet is harsh, all we do is suffer. We're in the hard ships. 

"Kill me. Please. Just do it." I whispered to no one in particular.

"I will not do that." I heard Harry grumble, looking at the floor.

"H- Harry?" 

"Dylan? I thought that was all in my head. Youre awake! We were all so worried. What happe-"

"Im going to make this quick. I dont really wanna talk about it. I'm sorry if that came across rude, but I thought I had passed, and honestly passing would be better than living on this stupid planet."

Harry looked hurt; as if he was about to cry.

"Do you mean, you were committing suicide? Was it because of us-"

"Dont even." I scoffed. "Do you really think I would do that because of you guys?! I was over the moon happy I was with you guys. I realized that I didnt deserve what I got. Im an ugly piece of shit that had 5 people pity over me and take me in because I was kidnapped. I was a burden and you know that. I needed to go. I'm sorry and I dont mean this to sound rude, but you dont know what happened to me before you meet me, dont think its just the "kiddnapping" that had to do with this. My life sucked at home. And I'm not shitting you." I ended my rant with a tear falling down my cheek. Harry came over and wiped it off with his thumb.