∞мιѕѕ. perғecт∞

Ch. 10 This is Stupid.

Recap:

Snuggling even deeper into Harry, I could fell sleep overcoming me as his soothing voice quieted and I fell into a bliss wonderful sleep; I felt happy and protected with the boys. They have seen me at my worst, not even at my best; I could be my self.

I finally had a life worth living, and I realised that I was scared I wouldn't wake up and I'm glad I didn't die.

And this was the moment I've been waiting for. Wanting to live.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

If you asked me, what a sleep over was like; I wouldnt have a clue.

If you asked me, what girls talk about; I wouldnt know, I have no friends.

If you asked me what a party was like; thats impossible for me to know.

If you asked me what a kiss was like; or having a boyfriend was like.

Thats even more impossible. If possible.

So why are all these people asking me questions about dating One Direction!?

"Dylan! Are you and Harry together?!"

"Are you pregnant? Is that why you were in the hospital?!" Some lady asked. I probably made the ugliest face. Making the point that the comment was ridiculously stupid. I've been here for five days, I was in the hospital for 2. Making my plan have to wait. But you know, I might just give up on that; they'll catch me. But seriously, they think I got knocked up? Am I that fat?!

"What the fu-" I started. "Am I that fat?" I whispered, but harry didnt notice.

"Dylan. They will take whatever you say, be careful." Harry told me.

"Like I give a shit." I scoffed.

"Look, I'll give you candy when we get back if you shut up." Harry joked as a smirk played across his face, dimples indenting his cheeks.

"As long as its not in a big white van." I joked.

"Aw. Bummer" He smirked.

"Lets go home"  Home. I miss home. But this home sounds nice. This home is where I can be myself. This home is where I have friends, and don't get bullied. This home is the home where I feel loved; and wanted.

This home, is what a home should feel like. This home is home.

Yeah, I think Ill stick around for a while~

As we walked through the hotel room doors we all sighed;

"That. Was. Horrible." Louis breathed.

"Yeah, the ride home was what? 2 hours? We dont live that far." Zayn moaned.

All the fans bombarded us, blocking the van from even moving two inches, it was quite annoying actually.

Paul had to get out and start yelling at everyone. It was pretty funny. Harry started taking a Vine of it. I love that app.

Harry pulled out his phone, looks like he thought of the same thing as I did. Funny. 

great minds think alike.

I seriously cannot fall in love with Harry; That would just not end well.

Okay, so what happened to that little ability I had where I could block my feelings? Where did that go? 

If I fell in love with Harry, and he found out. He would throw me out immediately, he would run away. I would wake up alone. 

Have to hold my feelings in. Cant let them go. Cant let them go. 

What ever I have to do; I cant let Harry know my feelings for him. 

Laughter broke me out of my thoughts as the boys huddled around Harrys phone. He took a Vine of the boys. 

I broke out a small smile as I padded over to my room; I was exhausted and sleep was my priority. Now I know what I'll never do to a famous person. Block their car for 2 hours.

Not that I'd do that anyways.

I can honestly say that I never really knew my self, I never knew my real personality, Louis, Liam, Harry, Zayn and Niall really brought me out of my shell; and that makes me smile, knowing I'm no longer afraid of being my self.

Being the main victim at school filled with bitches and jocks (except Maddy) was really horrible, and every day I was terrified to leave the saftey and comfort of my home. I guess you could say Im still afraid here because the fans could be two types;

1) The sweet and loving fan that treats the girlfriend/friend/person staying with their idols amazingly once they meet.

Or.

2) The worst type, the type you dont wanna run into. The ones that will rip your hair out just to get one inch closer to the boys; being a girlfriend ect or not, they'll hurt you anyway they can because they're pissed you have a better relationship with them.

Yeah. Thats why Im still a tad bit umcomftorble. Dont judge. I can feel you judging me, 

I got inturruped once again as Harry cracked my door open.

"Night love, see you in the morning." He smiled.

"Night." I croaked.

I  really dont feel good.

I got up and rushed into the bathroom inside the room and locked it before Harry could come over here to see me.

I hate vomiting. Its nasty. almost like the Nasty Ass Honey Badger.

Honey Badger dont care. Honey Badger dont give a shit.

Well. Soon I wont either.

I heard a knock on the door as I kept emptying the contents of my stomach.

"You want anything? Are you ok?" I heard Harry's muffled voice on the other side of the door.

More er, vomiting noises came out of me, and once I finally stopped puking- thank god, I thought it would never stop- I answered him.

"Uh, maybe like, a Sprite and crackers, or bread." I spoke, my voice as quiet as a mouse.

"Sure thing love. I'll be right back."

Being sick is stupid.

This is stupid.

But of course, you have no idea what Im talking about;

Love. 

SORRY I KNOW ITS SHORT.

I was at Wild Waves AGAIN yesterday for a band field trip lol go drums! and then today I went to a graduation party for my guy friends sister. lol.

So I gtg cos Im not spose to be up and its passed my bed time and yeah bye.

Love you guys and thank you all for the comments/votes/reads like omg. follows too! 

-Hawey<3