I find it hard to stay with the words you say (I don't love you sequel)

Chapter 4: Confessions.

I woke up not knowing where the hell I was. Everything from the previous night was such a blur. I rolled over, my eyes still closed, when I breathed in a familiar scent coming from the duvet covers, but I couldn't quite figure out where it was from. Why could I not remember anything? It was a first I supposed. I guessed the pills and alcohol are finally doing their job right.

I sighed heavily and rolled onto my back, staring at the ceiling. Where the fuck am I? I figured I should get dressed and go, so I sat up but soon realized I was already fully clothed. Who ever's house it was, I guess I didn't sleep with them. That was also a first. I stood up carefully, taking extra care not to move my head too quickly. Standing there, in this familiar room, slowly brought back memories of the previous night. I went through every single detail, beginning to end. From kissing Frank, to him carrying me to his house after being pumbled against a wall by that guy. I was at Frank's house, and in Frank's bed.

I stumbled on over to the door, falling sideways, my head was spinning yet I managed to catch and prop myself upright on the dresser. I stood there for a few minutes with head in my hand, trying to focus my eyes on something. When I felt like I could finally walk, I grabbed onto the door handle slowly and opened the door, carefully stepping out of the room and walking down the stairs. My grip tightened on the bannister as I walked down step by step, being extra careful not to slip or lose my footing. I was already hurting too much.

I stopped in the middle of the stairs hearing the TV was turned on and peeked over the side to reveal Frank. He was sat upright on the sofa. I stared for a while, admiring him. He had a cofee in one hand, remote control in the other. He had dogs, too. Many dogs, the smallest one resting on his lap. Damn, I missed him. No Gerard, he cheated on you, remember?

About five minutes of admiration, and I was interupted with a knock at the door. I turned to look furiously at who it is, but failed to make out an identity behind the blurred glass. I heard Frank get up, placing his coffee and remote down onto the coffee table and gently removing the sleeping puppy from his lap. I watched closely as he swiftly got up and walked over to the door, unlocking and opening it. His shoulder length hair blowing back in the breeze as the door is opened. He let his hair grow out. As I listened, I heard Frank speaking quietly to a girl.

"Look, Jamia." I gasped loudly, but immediately placed a hand over my mouth to stop me from making anymore noise. I carried on evesdropping. "Yes, I know. No, I'll explain tomorrow. Okay? But you really can't be here right now. Bye, Jams."

Just as he was about to close the door, regretting every move I made, I practically sprinted down the stairs, falling into Frank and pushing him straight over. I landed on my coccyx.

"Fuck," I mumbled to myself as Frank looked at me disapprovingly. He stood up and brushed himself off, then sighed and turned to Jamia.

"Bye, Jamia." I stared at the wide eyed girl as Frank closed the door on her lifeless body. Once the door was shut tight and Jamia was gone down the driveway and walking onto the footpath, I decided it was time for something to be said. 

"So, you're still seeing Jamia, then?" I claimed.

He looked at me with apologetic eyes that soon turned to anger.

"What's it to you, Gerard?" Frank snapped before adding, "and I was never seeing Jamia in the first place."

"You cheated on me with her."

"I didn't, Gerard." Frank pinched the bridge of his nose and heaved out a heavy sigh.

"Who with then?"

"I didn't cheat on you at all." Our voices dropped and the room turned to painful silence. It hurt knowing I threw what we had away because I let Lindsey convince me  otherwise. I should have known. I opened my mouth to apologize, but then it hit me harder than that guy the other night.

"Where did you go?"

 **

Frank's P.O.V

"Where did you go?" Gerard's eyes look saddened, full of worry. His beautiful face could see right through my lies. I couldn't bring myself to tell him. I looked into his eyes once again as they urged me to confess, but I turned my head and diverted my eyes somewhere else. I scanned the room, not really knowing what I was looking for, and eventually I gave in; feeling his eyes glued to me everywhere I looked was too pressuring.

Sighing, I raised my eyebrows and then furrowed them together, looking up at Gerard. He glanced at me with confusion, but I knew he was listening.

"Before we were together, I kind of had an addiction. I mean, it wasn't a big deal, but it wasn't exactly small either." I glanced up at Gerard and the diverted my eyes again. "When I left, I was going to tell my dealer, Karl, that I didn't need the drugs anymore. I'd finally got what I wanted, and that was you. The second day I had to go back, it was because I still hadn't payed back the money I owed him from the stash he gave me a while back, so I had to go out and get the money somehow." I inhaled a deep breath and swallowed to stop my voice from cracking. "So I went busking. I even sang our song, Gerard, but I know now that it doesn't mean anything."