I find it hard to stay with the words you say (I don't love you sequel)

Chapter 11: A stain that never comes off the sheets.

*Trigger warning*

The door swings open.

"GERARD! What the hell happened? Oh my God are you alright?! Gerard? Gerard! Speak to me..please!" I sit there, lifeless, staring up at the man who claims to still care for me. The man who claims to still love me. After what I did. After everything I did to him...to us. I stay there, knife in one hand, knuckles clenched. The knife was so close to cutting. I hold it down harder, but Frank daren't move a muscle to stop me incase he made things the slightest bit worse.

"Gerard, give me the knife? Okay..? J-just hand me it..."

I ignore him, holding the knife down even harder. Of course, when I spill blood he gasps, and screams hysterically. He grabs the knife by the sharp edge not caring if he hurt himself and snatched it off of me. He threw the knife behind him and grabbed one of the towels off of the towel rack and began wrapping it around my arm, tightening it. I didn't even flinch at the pain.

I still hadn't moved. I was now in Frank's lap- just like earlier at Mikey's house- and he was cradling me and singing...more like humming one of my songs to me. I realised I was humming our song. I couldn't hold it in any longer. All of my emotions, my feelings, everything I'd been bottling up throughout this day was let out in a very big gasp of air- I didn't realise I was holding my breath- and I shuddered as tears streamed down my face and I whispered into Frank's ear:

"I know you're only pretending to love me."

This time he gasps for air, as if someone had booted him in the stomach and all oxygen had been knocked out of his body. His arms dropped from around me and he looked at me, gormless. His mouth hung open.

"S-so, that's what this is all about? You do this to yourself when you KNOW  that I love you?! I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY FUCKING HEART YOU SELFISH BASTARD! YOU KNOW I FUCKING DO! You know I do..." He whispers the end as he pulls my face against his and his lips collide with mine. We stand awkwardly, not breaking the kiss once, and walk out of the bathroom doorway and land on the bed with a thud, Frank falls onto my chest and we continue the kiss. He rolls me over so I'm on top. His hands play with my shirt and I take it off. He does the same. We then do...things.

There are things we have done that you should never ever know.

**

Last night was...woah. My arm started bleeding again and we didn't even notice. I mean, looking over at Frank, he's got blood all down his stomach- and me, well...my arms killing. I don't even know why I did- wait. Shit. I'll take my antidepressants now so I don't forget them. That was the reason. The only reason I did what I did before Frank found me. I mean, if he really didn't love me, last night wouldn't have happened. I smile a satisfied smile as I roll over to spoon Frank. I tuck my head into the cover and I smell rust...but this is cotton?

Blood. Blood everywhere. Woah, last night must have been rough.

Frank stirrs. His eyes flutter open and he smiles the same satisfied smile I had as he remembers what happened last night.

His smile soon fades as he too, notices the blood on the sheets- and all over us in that case, as he remembers the other events from last night.

"Morning." He smiles.

"Look alive sunshine. We need to get cleaned up..." I half chuckle. 

"Y-yeah, we really do. And these sheets...blood. A stain that never comes off the sheets."

"Never mind the sheets..." I wink. "Clean me off. I'm so dirty babe."

"Dirty?" He raises an eyebrow.

"M'hm. The kind of dirty where the water never cleans off the clothes..."

"My goodness Gerard Arthur Way, I've been awake for less that a minute and you're already trying to turn me on with your blood covered body?" He sighs, but grabs my hand gently and leads me away to the bathroom to turn the shower on. He pushes me in first, then climbs in after me.

**

 Frank's P.O.V

I shut the shower off and step out, we both huddle in the same towel- the only other towel was covered Gerard's blood... We carefully stumble our way to the bed and flop down.

 Gerard sighs and stands up to fumble through a load of washing and throws on one of my shirts and some pants before lying back down and snuggling into me, lying on the bed.

"Get dressed." He whispered in my ear.

"Funny, last night you were pleading me to undress..." I snigger and wink at him. He wasn't amused. I frown and stick my pet lip out, cross my arms and sluggle my face into his chest. He ruffles my hair and chuckles at me. Then he pulls my face up to his, pecks me on the lips and sighs again. 

"Well, if you won't get dressed...I guess I'll just have to do it for you..." 

I squeal as he places his freezing hands on my stomach and I jump up. I still refuse to get dressed.

He gets up and pulls out a what seems to be clean shirt and some pants and throws them at me. I sit in a huff with my arms still folded.

"I'll touch you again." He winks.

I let out a very girly giggle. I had to think about it before I processed what he'd just said. "You're so dirty Geetard."

"I know, I told you didn't I baby?" He sniggers. He makes a sudden movement to jump onto the bed after me and straddles my hips with his knees. Then somehow he manages to actually get me dressed? I didn't even notice before my shirt was on and he was almost finished with my pants.

Okay, now I just felt really stupid. I didn't even get dressed this morning without the help of my boyfriend. 

"What now?" I sigh. I still felt utterly incapable. He could tell by my voice I wasn't happy.

"Oh c'mon Frankie...you can get me dressed tomorrow...or undr-"

"Gerard, stop it. Where do we go now?" I snap. I wasn't in the mood now.

"Well, someones a sassy pants- wait, that's my job." He huffs. I snort-giggle and jump up, pecking him on the lips.

"Seriously Gerard, where are we going?"

He smirks. "Starbucks."

"To do what?"

"To meet the guys."

"What guys?" I raise my eyebrows in suspician.

"Y'know, Mikey, Ray, Bob..."

"Oh." I perk up a bit. "What are we doing there?"

"Getting you back into the band."