Eventually

Chapter Ten

UPDATE!!! This chapter is sort of like a "Part 1" of the book, and after this chapter, I'll switch back to Arthur's POV (which I switch every 5 chapters between Arthur and Freddie). There's also gonna be a change of tone after this part of the book. This chapter is also like a bit full of drama but I hope you like it. Xoxo, Clay.

Chapter Ten

June 18th 1999 - Frederick Pepper  

It was the day of another one of Millicent Mountbatten's massive, raging parties, and everyone was going. The hype about it blew completely out of control, with people travelling from London just to come and see what all the fuss was about it. It was probably going to be one of her biggest and best parties, so obviously, I had to attend.

The thing I was worried about most was Arthur. I couldn't fully believe what was going on between us. In a way, I'd accepted it. I had to have accepted it. I mean, I had his dick at the back of my throat. If that doesn't scream bromance, what does? I had feelings for him, and he even had feelings for me. When something lie that happens, what is the appropriate response? I mean, I know I'm not technically fluent in the art of love-making, but I'm sure that would be about the time that we declare our love for each-other, shack up, and live happily ever after, right?

Wrong.

I was terrified of being with him, even if he did feel the same. Everything was changing, and there was no point pretending and lying to myself that it would all be fine. Adding romance and sex and other gay things to our relationship is not keeping it the same. Things would change, whether for better or worse, I had no fucking clue. That was what held me back, although I did have other reservations.

No matter how shallow I sound, I did care about what people thought of me. If I flamboyantly pounce out of the closet, dragging Arthur out with me, what would people think? My family would no doubt hate me, those that I hadn't already driven away with my 'needy attitude' and my 'childish behaviour'. Other than my mum, I'd effectively chased off every other member of my family. They couldn't handle me, I guess.

But letting other people know that I had these intense feelings for my male best friend, it would only give them another reason to despise me even more. I knew I wasn't gay, but how could you explain something like this to others? Oh, sorry, I sucked my best friend's dick, but don't worry, I'm totally straight. Whenever I look at him, I want to fuck him. Yeah, that's right, I want to have full-on gay anal sex with him. What was I saying about being straight? Yeah, totally fucking straight.

Of course, I knew I wasn't totally straight. I'd considered being pansexual, I liked how it sounded, but I wasn't really that sure. Bisexual would be the obvious answer, but I didn't like girls. I didn't like guys, either. I just liked Arthur. I only wanted Arthur, and to be honest, I didn't give a shit what that made me. But it wasn't about what I thought I was, it was about what everyone else would think. I couldn't ignore it. They might laugh at me and snicker, they might bully me, toss me aside. I hate being tossed aside, and I couldn't handle all the hate that came with coming out, even in a modern age. I mean, in a couple of months, it'd be the millennium. But people still don't like it.

That was why I was considering avoiding Millicent's party. I didn't want to be around Arthur, to give everyone another excuse to see us together and make assumptions about our relationship. Especially since the last time I'd seen him, his cock was gagging down my throat. That situation didn't end happily, either, might I just calmly add. His hands found my shoulders and pushed me off of him, and for half a second, I actually let myself go. He'd tossed me onto the edge of his bed, bent me over it, and pulled down my jeans. He was inches away from stuffing me with his big, thirsty dick, and I panicked. I jumped away from him, when I felt him place the head there, pulled my trousers back up, and legged it.