Finding May

Chapter Two - Paranoia and Pancakes

Hello all

I'm leaving for Pittsburgh this Friday for a school trip and I'm so excited.

It occurred to me that some of you may not know what the word "audism" means. It's prejudice against the deaf or hard of hearing.

Warnings: bullying, audism
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Castiel's POV
May 31, 7:43 am

The next morning, Dean and Castiel made sure to wake up earlier than usual to make breakfast for May (and Sam). But as they walked through the library to get to the kitchen, they stopped as they saw May, sitting in an armchair in her pajamas, reading a book. "I thought we would wake up earlier than her," Cas said.

"Relax, sweetheart," Dean said as he tapped on May's knee to get her attention.

She looked up, smiled, and signed, Good morning.

Cas signed back as she stood, clutching her book to her chest, just as she did the first time they met her at the orphanage. Are you hungry? We are going to make breakfast.

Can I help? May asked.

Of course you can.

Cas and Dean led May into the kitchen, and started pulling pancake mix and pans and the griddle from various cabinets. May stood behind them and watched observantly. When Cas noticed she was doing this, he pointed to a drawer next to the sink. Spoons, forks, knives, he signed. May nodded. He gestured to the cabinet above the utensils drawer. Plates and bowls. The cabinet next to it: Cups. This continued until May knew exactly where to find carpet cleaner if she ever needed it. All the while, Dean watched all of this, and when May sat down at the table, he shot Cas a pained expression.

"What?" Cas asked.

Dean shook his head. "Later," he muttered and returned to making pancake batter. Cas frowned as Sam entered the kitchen. He yawned and stretched his arms, then sat across the table from May.

What book are you reading? Sam signed. May held up the cover so he could see it. Sam nodded and turned to Dean and Cas.

"What's for breakfast?" he asked.

"Pancakes and bacon," Dean responded monotonously without turning around.

Cas sighed. Sam can show you around the house while we make breakfast, he signed to May and Sam. She nodded and followed Sam out of the kitchen. Cas turned to Dean, a worried expression on his face. "What's wrong, Dean?" he asked.

Dean sighed and gently placed the spatula on the counter. "It's hard. Communicating with May, it's hard. I don't pick up sign language as easily as you and Sam. She already likes you better than me."

"Dean, that is absolute nonsense. May doesn't like me more than you. She hasn't even been here a day. Last night, when we were driving to the restaurant, she loved having a conversation with you. It's going to take her time to open up to us."

Dean nodded. "I guess you're right."

"How about me and Sam go grocery shopping after breakfast, and then you and May will have time to get to know each other?"

"Okay. That sounds good."

Dean's POV
May 31, 8:31 am

After breakfast, Sam and Cas said their good-byes, then left for the grocery store. May came over to the counter beside Dean, picked up the griddle, then stepped back, examining the array of cabinets and drawers. She bit her lip, probably unsure of where the griddle was supposed to go. Dean opened a cabinet on the lower row and gestured for her to put the griddle inside. She smiled and slid it into place.

Once they had finished cleaning up, they sat back down at the kitchen table. What do you want to do for your birthday next week? Dean signed.

I don't know, May signed back.

Already, Dean was at a loss for words. What did teenagers do for their birthdays these days? We could... I don't know. Go somewhere?

May's eyes lit up. Picnic, she signed.

You want a picnic?

May balled her hand into a fist and nodded it up and down, the sign for "yes".

Okay. We'll have a picnic. Do you have any friends you want to invite?

May sat back in her chair a little. I don't have any friends.

Why wouldn't anyone want to be friends with you? You're awesome.

May gave Dean a sad smile. Because I'm deaf, was her response.

Dean felt as if he'd been punched in the stomach. There's nothing wrong with being deaf.

No, no, I know that. I love being deaf, but people just... thought it was wrong and weird.

The best people are weird.

May grinned. Thank you.

So the whole time you were there, no one bothered to learn sign language for you?

Not even "yes" and "no". And whenever I was brought in to be interviewed for potentially being adopted, the couple didn't want me as soon as they found out. I have hearing aids, I just don't wear them unless I have to. I was adopted once, when I was six, but they refused to sign and gave me hearing aids and took me to speech therapy because my voice sounds funny, so I got out of there. I didn't want that.

May's POV
May 31, 8:36 am

May remembered the first couple that adopted her. She remembered how they forced her to go to speech therapy to correct her voice, and how they forced her to wear the hearing aids that she didn't want.

She remembered the first sound she heard was her adoptive mother yelling at her to keep her hearing aids in. May remembered telling her she didn't want them. They didn't care.

They took her back to the adoption center after five years.

She kept the hearing aids, just in case. Only in emergencies. Only if she were to have a conversation with someone who didn't know sign language, and her parents weren't around.

Dean's POV
May 31, 8:37 am

Talk and wear your hearing aids if you're comfortable. Don't feel like you have to.

Thank you. I did talk when I was younger, but the other girls... bullied me over how my voice sounds, so I stopped talking and started sign language.

Dean gave her an apologetic expression. Your voice is your voice. It's perfect just the way it is.

Tell that to the girls who locked me in a closet for three days.

Her last signs broke Dean's heart. Why didn't anyone at the orphanage help her? Why didn't anyone stop these girls from hurting her? May looked away, tears forming in her eyes. Dean placed a hand on top of hers. May smiled at him and pulled her hand back to sign. It really means a lot to me that you learned sign language, even if you didn't know that you would get me. You were told that I prefer to communicate through sign language, and you actually listened and took the time to learn. No one has ever done that for me.

Dean didn't say anything, he just stood and held out his arms. May wrapped her arms around his mid-section and leaned her head into his chest. Dean pressed a light kiss to the top of her head, then glanced up at Cas leaning against the doorframe, grocery bags in hand.

"I told you you were being paranoid," he said.

"Shut up."