I'm sitting on my bed at 4 o'clock in the morning, just staring at my wall. While I have this free-time, I suppose I can write in my journal placed somewhere in my miscellaneous pile of random shit. The pile of random shit is in my bed-side table drawer, which has never been clean out. Opening the drawer slowly and rummaging through everything was difficult to stay quiet. In the drawer I do find my journal, as well as many scattered photos of Phil and I. Where I left off in the journal is marked by my ball-point pen that writes in blue ink. I love jotting down my idea's, thoughts and opinions. I mostly use this journal for one thing though. I use it to write about the man I've loved for years, Phil Lester. Deep down inside of me I've dreamed of passionately making out with his smooth, soft, light pink lips. Of course, he could never know this. This secret of mine will forever be silent unless, he makes the first move.
After finishing my page about how cute he looks when he just wakes up, I get up and start pacing around my room. I throw the journal in one of the dirty laundry piles I have in my messy room. I start to think I should get my rest because I want to wake up when Phil does.
My dreams are just filled with Phil. I redundantly think of his sexy body being mine and mine only. I can't stop thinking about him, it hurts me to know that we can never be together. Maybe one day I'll take up the nerve to ask him how he feels about me, but for now I'll just read the disgustingly horrifying phanfictions, that Phil can't stand to read. I drift off into a deeper sleep and finally get some rest.
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Confused About 'Love' (Phan)
FanficDan has always had secret feelings for his best-friend, Phil Lester. One day Phil finds out the truth in a secret journal found upon the mess of Dan's room. Dan know's who he loves but does he know if he's "in love"? Dan and Phil go through an emoti...
