Live Love and Niall Horan

Chapter Forty Six

LIVE LOVE AND NIALL HORAN

Chapter Forty Six

Harry's deep snores weren't the only indicator that he was asleep. He was sprawled across the bed, face directly in the pillow. It was almost 4am after all. The entire lodge was probably silent. But it didn't matter what time it was, I couldn't sleep. The guilt was killing me. Niall needed to know. He deserved to know everything.

He deserved to know the way I stayed with Nate, even as I watched things go on a downward spiral. He deserved to know about the many nights I spent at clubs, kissing random boys. He deserved to know about the many times I'd led people on for the pathetic excuse that I didn't know I felt. He deserved to know the way I'd subconsciously played with other people's feelings thinking it was okay because that's what I grew up around. He deserved to know I wasn't a good person and he deserved to know it now.

Quietly, I slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Harry up. I wiped my face even though no matter how clean my face was, my eyes were red and puffy and nothing would fix that. I found my fuzzy slippers beside the bed and quickly put them on my feet before grabbing the room card and making my way out. If Niall was at the connecting door, it meant he was next door.

The hall was freezing cold, it was almost Christmas after all and a tank top and shorts were definitely not weather appropriate choices.

Today is Christmas Eve, I realized. It's already 4am. And what a way to spend it.

I knocked gently on the door. Niall was sleeping. Should I really be doing this? Before I could chicken out, the door swung open and I sucked in a deep breath before looking up.

Niall was standing there, leaning against the door with sleepy eyes and no shirt on. His gray pajama pants slung low on his hips and he his hair was in tufts sticking up all over the place. He looked innocent in this sleepy state and my hands yearned to reach out and put my arms around him.

"C-Can I talk to you?" I stuttered, trying my best to not look at anything but his gorgeously angelic sleepy face.

"It's 4am," Niall didn't sound the least bit mad, just amused.

"I know, it's important," I insisted and warily, he let me in.

Clothes were strewn across the floor, food packages and drinks littered here and there on tables and counters. Not even a full day and he's made a mess. But I loved that about him. Even his flaws managed to remain perfect. Unlike mine, which apparently seemed to just fuck up everything.

"So..." Niall said, taking a seat at the end of the bed. "What did you want to talk about? I see that you aren't sick."

I blushed, thinking of Harry's lie earlier.

"I just needed some time."

"Because you still feel something for him?"

I felt the anger surge through me, but I knew it wasn't his fault. He didn't understand because I'd never let him.