Groupies

Chapter 40

The boys have started doing tour again, therefor we're back on the bus. It's still the same old thing but I've gotten used to the hotel beds, the ones on here feel like heaven. Never thought I'd say that. It's been a while since Luke and I have been able to have physical contact since now that they're in their hometown they're very busy. The only time Carrie, Apsley, and I ever see them are at the shows or late when they come back on the bus. I don't really mind though, Luke and I have been arguing over stupid shit anyways.

Over the past week I've noticed how much it sucks not having Luke around. Sometimes I get this feeling in my stomach when he leaves for interviews or something and it's weird. It's like an unsettling feeling and I get sad.. Not sure what the fuck that's about but it happens.

"Hey bitches" I hear Calum say as the game room door opens.

"Bitch" I say correcting him since there is only me. The other two misfits went to get food while I'm stuck on this damn bus.

"Right, what's up?" Without permission he sits on the couch, resting his legs ontop of mine.

"I think I might have like... Strong feelings for Luke.." I say biting the inside of my cheek. Maybe if I describe how I feel to someone I'll realise it's ridiculous.

"Like.. Lo-" he looks at me.

"No, no..." I pause not knowing what to say. "I don't know"

I'm comfortable talking to Calum about this because I've grown that close with him. He knows everything about Luke and I's relationship, mainly because Luke goes to him to. He's became my friend although I'm still hesitant. I want to trust him but I'm working on that whole thing.

"Well, describe" he takes my hand. I look at our hands then to his face.

"I feel like I'm going crazy. I can't think, I can't focus, all I think about is him. I don't know what the fuck it is." My heart races just thinking about him, it's pretty fucking cliche if you ask me.

"well, I wish I could tell you but I don't know. I don't know how easily you fall for someone, I don't know Nina." He puts his lips in a line and I sigh.

The feelings that I have are kind of unexplainable. Especially since I suck at explaining things anyways. It's like, when you have a celebrity crush, you adore them and love them and all that but on the other hand you know it will never be. Like Harry Styles, except minus the love, and the fact I actually get to touch Luke..

"My head wants to explode when I think about him to much, his smile, his laugh. The way he hugs you and tells me he loves me. I can't even say it back but he still says it, everyday. Well not anymore.." I look down at our hands, my brain tricks me and for a second and I see Luke's.

"Oh, my precious precious Nina.." He frowns putting a hand to my cheek. "Luke's softness has rubbed off on you." His frown turns into a smile as he starts laughing. Rolling my eyes I push his hand away, letting it fall on my lap.

"What have you guys been doing anyways.." I ask trying not to seem to completely interested.

"Oh you know, filming, interviews, getting swarmed, radio shows all that fun stuff." He shrugs putting his focus on my fingers as he plays with them.

"Filming?" I ask a little shocked. I had no fucking idea they were filming! For god sakes I didn't even know they had a single out.