Not What I Expected

What Ever Happened

Chris: I'm so glad you feel that way.

You: Yeah. I bet.

Chris: Wow. You've gotten feisty. I love that about you.

You: Nigga stop flirting so much and leave me alone. I'm still mad at you.

Chris: Aww. You mad baby? That's ok. I'll change that tonight.

Dakota: Daddy. Stop being so nasty.

You: Ha. That's my baby. Take up for your women, and let them know you love them very much. Ok? Promise.

Dakota: Ok mommy. I promise.

You gave him a big hug and Chris playfully rolled his eyes.

Chris: O. I don't get a hug? I see how it is now.

Dakota: Daddy, you have to earn mommy's hugs. I don't think you can handle them.

Aww. How cute. My baby understands me. I can always depend on Kota to put a smile on my face.

Chris' phone goes off.

Chris: Kota can you get that for me?

Dakota: Ok (Answers The Phone)

~Phone Convo~

Dakota: Hello?

Random Trick: Can I talk to Trent?

Dakota: Trent? Who is Trent?

Random Trick: Boy stop playing. So, why didn't you come over last night, you stood me up.

Dakota: Listen Lady. I don't appreciate you calling my daddy phone looking for some "Trent". Like, What the puff? (Hangs Up The Phone)

~Phone Convo Over~

You: Baby who was on the phone

Dakota: Some random trick asking for a "Trent" dude. But it's ok. I told her off

This nigga got my baby speaking hood. Smh.

You: Chris, isn't your middle name Trent?

Chris: Huh? I'm sorry wasn't listening. (Lie)

You: Don't play stupid. I know damn well you heard what I said. Now who is this hoe asking for "Trent" and how did she get your number?

Chris: Baby, I don't know what you're talking about.

Dakota: Daddy, you bout to get your mass beat. Just tell the truth and she'll calm down. Trust me. It works with me all the time.

You: Kota, please go to your room.

Dakota: Ok. But I'll be listening. Mommy try not to kill daddy. (walks out the room)

You: Are you ready to tell the truth or would you like to get a head start on packing?

Chris: Ok, Ok. But before I say anything else. Please, calm down.

You: Chris, I swear to God if you tell me to calm down one more time I will chop your head off, pack it up, and throw it out along with all your shit.

Chris: Ok. Well I met this girl named Violet while I was gone and since then we've been talking and I visit her sometimes.

You: Get the fuck out my house. I want nothing to do with you anymore. Take all your shit and bounce.

Chris: Baby, where am I supposed to go? Can we talk about this.

You: Hell no we can't talk about it. You've said enough.( You run to your room and start packing his stuff)

Chris: Babe, stop it and try and be reasonable. Please. I stopped talking to her. I swear to dog. *did this nigga just say dog?* (It sounded like he said God)

You: Dakota! Come here baby. (You yell so he can hear you)

Dakota: Yes mommy.

You: Tell me what the lady said on the phone.

Dakota: She said can I talk to Trent and I said who's Trent and she said boy stop playing and then she said that I forgot to come to her house last night and that's when I told her off.

You: That's all I needed to hear.(You start packing Chris' stuff again)

Dakota: Mommy where is daddy going.

Chris: No where. I'm staying right here.

You: Ha. You funny. Get your ass up outta my house. NOW.

Chris: Baby girl, I have no where to go.

You: Go live with your.(Catch yourself) Your not staying here.