XNUT (Published under Pop Fiction)

x34: One Crazy Fear (part2~)

*kamot ulo* Di ko na matandaan ung ibang nagpadedic! Hehe. SARREH na lungs~ ^^ 

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x34: One Crazy Fear (part2~) 




[CJ's PoV] 


*RIIIIIIIIING 


A very loud ring made me open my eyes, finding myself here in the middle of my bed. Nakadapa ako at yakap ang isang unan. Agad ko ring nakita ang phone kong nasa harapan ko. Patuloy itong nagriring, nagbiblink at nagba-vibrate. 


I lazily grabbed it to stop its ringing. Tumunog lang naman toh dahil sa alarm clock, not because someone was calling me. 


Finally, it stopped. 


6AM na pala eh. Ganitong oras ako laging bumabangon. But today is different. Hindi na nga ako inaantok pero wala naman akong ganang bumangon. 


I took a deep breath, stretching my arms a bit and turning my head to the other side. And when I did it, I saw my Care Bears jigsaw puzzle right next to me. 


Oo nga pala. Kagabi pagkauwi ko after kong maihatid si Hazel sakanila, itong jigsaw puzzle ko ang pinagkaabalahan kong buuin hanggang sa antukin ako. Kaso di ko sya nabuo. Kulang kasi sya ng dalawang piece. 


'CJ, hinahanap mo na ba ang missing piece ng buhay mo?' 


That question of Hazel last night suddenly played back in my mind. It made my hand reach for the jigsaw puzzle with my forefinger tracing its every piece. 


This jigsaw puzzle.. Ito yung nilaro ko noon nang tuluyan na kong umalis sa buhay nina Rachel at Andy. Dito ko rin naikumpara ang buhay ko-- ang buhay ko na dating buo pero naging kulang na mula nang pakawalan ko silang mag-ina. And that time, Hazel was the only one who got to witness and hear those drama of mine.


Pero.. hinahanap ko na nga ba ang missing piece ng buhay ko? 


My forefinger stopped at the part with missing pieces. Saktong magkatabi pa sila. 


I half-smiled at it. Talagang kapareho nitong jigsaw puzzle ang buhay ko. BOTH ARE STILL INCOMPLETE. 


But unlike this jigsaw puzzle na kailangan ko pang hanapin ang dalawa nyang kulang na puzzle piece, yung kulang naman sa buhay ko eh hindi ko na kailangang hanapin pa. 


I already found her. I just don't know how to get her. 


'Sana CJ, mahanap mo na ang babaeng kukumpleto talaga sa buhay mo.' 


When Hazel said that to me, I'd like to tell her that I ALREADY FOUND THAT MISSING PIECE. 


'Para naman matapos na tong deal natin at wala nang mahirapan pa satin.' 


Pero nang sabihin nya pa yan, hindi ko na natuloy ang gusto kong sabihin sakanya. Di ko na nasabi na nakita ko na ang missing piece ng buhay ko at SYA YUN. 


Right. It's Hazel. I have completely realized that when we kissed TWICE on Dad's birthday party. 


"Tsk." napatakip ako ng mga mata dahil sa inis na bigla kong naramdaman. 


Last night, I was already about to tell Hazel what I truly feel-- that I like her, that I want to court her, that I want everything between us to be REAL and OFFICIAL. 


Pero dahil sa sinabi nya, natakot ako. Doubts and fears filled me. 


I doubt that Hazel would want to be with me. Sabi kasi nya noon, OPPOSITE ko ang type of guy nya. Tapos ngayon, mukhang nahihirapan na sya sa pag-arte bilang girlfriend ko. Paano pa kaya kung magiging totoong girlfriend ko na sya? 


I fear her rejecting me. Pero ang mas ikinakatakot ko ay yung malaking posibilidad na mailang sya sakin after I confess then in the end, lalayuan na nya ko. 


But no.. I don't want that to happen. I don't want to lose her. 


So instead of taking a risk, magtitiis na lang muna ako sa sitwasyon namin ngayon bilang isang fake couple. Game pa naman daw sya umarte eh. Mag-iipon na lang din muna ako ng lakas ng loob para makaamin na ko sakanya. 


Natulala na ko at halos matawa sa sarili ko. It's just that this is not very like me. Hindi ako torpe. Pero kay Hazel, natorpe ako. 


Gamit ang phone ko, tinext ko si Hazel. I texted her as the real me. Parang ayoko na kasi syang itext as Crizel as it makes me feel like I'm fooling her. But in case she ignores my text messages as CJ, I might use that number again to contact her. 


Nag-good morning lang ako kay Hazel at kinamusta ang pakiramdam nya. So glad she texted me back in a minute. Good morning din daw at okay na okay na okay na okay naman na raw sya ngayon. I chuckled at that. Seems like she's really okay now. FOUR OKAYs ba naman yung sinabi nya-- with a smiley pa. 

Tinext ko sya ulit. I just said okay and see her later. Then bumangon na ko at naghilamos. 


Downstairs, I joined my mom and dad on eating breakfast. Dad's in a good mood, as always. While Mom seems to be a little touchy. 


"Andy's birthday is already next week, right CJ?" biglang tanong ni Dad habang kumakain kami. 


I recalled the date today and..oo nga. Next week na ang birthday ni Andy. 


"Yup. It's already next week." I replied while thinking of what to give that kid on his birthday. 


"Really?" Mom asked. Nawala bigla ang touchy na mood nya. "How old is he again?" 


"He's turning five." sagot ko, still thinking. 


"Ooh.." 


"CJ, can you bring him here or to my office anytime before his birthday?" tanong ulit ni Dad. "Gusto ko syang makita eh at may ibibigay rin sana ako sakanya. Kaso..papayag kaya sina Rachel?" 


I smiled. "They sure will. I'm in good terms with them now after all." 


"Wow. That's good." Dad's smile widened. 


"Wait, wait!" Mom raised her one hand. "I want to see him too and may ibibigay rin ako sakanya! So do inform me kung kailan mo sya dadalhin sa dad mo huh, CJ?" 


"I will, I will." natatawa kong sagot. 


My parents, they really love Andy. Sadyang mahilig kasi sila sa mga bata. Lalo na tong nanay ko. She may not be in favor of Rachel but she grew fond of Andy. 


But back to Andy's birthday.. Ano kayang maganda iregalo sakanya? Hmm.. Tatanungin ko na nga lang si Hazel mamaya. 


* * 


From morning until now that it's already passed 4PM, I've gone to 3 branches of our steak house. Masyadong marami ang mga kinailangan ko asikasuhin sa mga branch na yun kaya natagalan ako. Tsk. Di na nga maganda ang pakiramdam ko eh. I already feel tired. But it's okay. Nandito naman na ako ngayon sa North branch kung nasaan si Hazel. 


Okay na sakin kung hapon na ko nakakapunta dito. At least dito naman na ako mag-istay hanggang sa mag-closing time which is very great kasi pwede kong makasabay at maihatid si Hazel pauwi sakanila. 


After parking my car, I walked my way to the steak house while playing my car key on my one hand. 


Nakangiti ako, expecting to see Hazel first as I enter the place. But.. she was not there when I stepped in. 


Quite disappointing. Sanay akong sya ang unang nakikita ko pag pumapasok ako dito eh. Pero naiintindihan ko naman. Hindi naman sa buong shift nya ay tatayo lang sya dyan sa entrance. Syempre, parte ng trabaho nya ang pag-asikaso sa mga customer namin. 


I walked further and looked around for her. And there she is, nakangiti habang may inaasikaso at inientertain na isang customer. 


Seeing her smile like that made me smile too. But my smile.. It quickly faded away when I recognized who that customer she is gladly talking to. 


DAMN IT.. 


It's Alexis. 




xxxxxx TBC~ 

lalalala~ short UD~ hehehe. sensyas namans daws. XD

k. XOXO~ ^^