Becoming Her (Trans)

Chapter 16

"Um," I start, unsure of what to say. "I'll take it from here." As I reach out for my phone, Josh jerks it away for a couple of seconds. Afterwards, he hands it back, slightly mad the whole exchange.

I press the phone against my ear. "Hello?"

"Hi, Matthew!" Gwen chirps. She seems oblivious to the tension between Josh and me. Then again, we're on the phone. "Did Josh tell you why I'm calling?"

Looking at my best friend uneasily, I pass him and Mandy to go downstairs. "Something about hanging out on Sunday," I say.

"Oh, good! So he did." I hear a thump, a "crap!", and then Gwen speaks again. "Sorry, I dropped my phone. Anyway, I figured you'd like to get out of your house for a bit."

I'm confused. "Is that the only reason you wanted to hang out?" I ask.

Gwen tsks. "Well, no," she admits. "I actually have something to tell you." She pauses. "Something I can't say on the phone."

"Is something wrong?" I lower my voice so the eavesdropping Josh can't hear me from the stairs. "At least tell me if something's wrong."

A moment passes before Gwen giggles. "I forgot that you can't see me. But no, nothing's wrong."

I turn to see Josh raising an eyebrow. "Well, as long as 'nothing' is wrong . . . " I trail off. "Is it so important we have to meet soon?"

Gwen giggles again. "Mister, you've already asked a question," she says. I cringe at the pronoun. "You can't ask any more until I tell you." I bite back an aggravated sigh. "So, I'll see you at noon?"

"Sure," I mumble. I then remember something. "Wait! Where?"

"The park?"

"Oh. Um, OK." I hang up, and Josh pounces on me. Figuratively, I mean.

"Are you going on a date? There going to be other people? Why is Gwen comfortable around you?" He talks a million miles a minute. "Dude, answer me!" He grabs my shoulders and shakes me.

Slowly, I pry his hands off me. I brush off the wrinkles before I respond in the calmest tone I can muster. "I'm not going on a date. It's only Gwen and me. And I don't know why." When Josh seems to look satisfied, I take a step back after noticing the time on the oven.

Josh grabs my arm. "You better fucking tell me how it went after," he says. He leaves out the "or else."

"Josh," Mandy warns. She's clicking her fingernails on the banister. I haven't realized she's there until she's spoken.

My best friend reluctantly lets go of me, still glaring. I look away from both of them as I go out the door.

_______

"Yo," Kelly greets me from the kitchen. She's got her homework spread out on the kitchen table. She's furiously scribbling on a filled up piece of paper. "Wanna do my homework for me?" My sister gives me a hopeful smile, nudging her math book towards me.

I snort. "You wish," I say, pushing the book back to her. She scowls. "Where's Mom?"

Kelly shrugs. "Who the fuck cares? I don't. Well, maybe that lamp over there," she answers, pointing at the one in the living room. "But other than that . . . "

"You know why a girl would ask someone to meet her so she can tell them in person?" I blurt out. I cringe when Kelly jerks her head up.

"Whoa. Who is she?" she grills, dropping her pencil and standing up. She walks to me and before I know it, takes my phone out. She goes through my contacts until she finds Gwen's number. "Well, I'll be damned."

Ignoring her swearing, I ask, "What is it?"

Kelly gives me a crooked smile. "Someone has a crush on you," she sing-songs, happily going back to her seat. "And I know who it is."

"Obviously you know," I mutter. "Why would Gwen have a crush on me?"

My sister thinks for a minute. "Now I'm wondering the same thing." I sneer at her, making Kelly laugh.

"At least I know how much you love me," I say, pretending to be hurt.

"Suck it up. It's only tough love."

I unconsciously cross my arms. The room probably dropped 10 degrees or something. "There's nothing 'tough' or 'love' about it," I tease.

Kelly sighs before walking to me. Leaning over, she hugs me tightly. I'm unsure as to how to respond, so I hug back. "This is love," she mumbles on my chest. She pulls herself off and automatically punches me on the arm. "And this is tough."

The punch didn't hurt, but it did surprise me. "Ow!" I say, holding the arm Kelly didn't punch. My sister gives me a look. I pretend to realize I'm holding the uninjured arm, and switch. "I mean, ow! That hurt!"

If I have the ability to see into the near future, I would've predict Kelly punching me again, except harder. Unfortunately I don't, and I gasp when she does. "OK, that hurts for real this time."

Kelly smiles. "Ha. At least I'm improving."

"You're practicing your punches?" I ask, dumbfounded. "What happened to being the girl who likes shopping?"

She taps on her chest. "Still here. Now I'm a girl who likes to shop AND knows how to throw good punches," she replies.

"Are you practicing by yourself, or--" Kelly stops me with a look. My mouth opens. "Oh, hell no you don't have a boy teaching you how." When she doesn't respond, I decide to add on the sassy finger snapping I've seen girls do on TV. And school, but let's not go there.

My sister face palms. "You don't look good when you do that," she says through her hand. "If anything, it's worse than your duckface."

"Excuse me, I worked hard on that!"

"Uh-huh. Sure you did." Kelly returns to her homework. Picking up a pencil, she continues where she's left off. I pick up my own backpack so I can do my own in my room. A piece of paper somehow finds its way out of the backpack and flies down to the floor. Confused, I pick it up.

"Fox Hole?" my sister asks. I quickly put it away when I remember what it is. "Isn't that the name of some new club?"

Shrugging, I reply, "I just picked it up at school at some point. Needed something to write on." Fingering the flyer, I take the backpack up. As soon as I'm in my room, I put the flyer down on the desk.

Maybe I can visit again, I think. It'd be nice to be myself again for a little while.