I hate that I love you, knowing you're with her right now.
Niall's POV
Waking up was something I never found easy, my body was never ready for what the day had prepared for me and no matter how many hours of sleep I got I was always tired.
I hated mornings almost as much as I hated nights. I always woke hoping that everything was a dream, that I wasn't in deep sorrow, fighting through the pain of heartbreak and depression. But to my disappointment my wish was never granted.
Groaning I role over the bed, cursing under my breath as I turn off the never ending beeping of the alarm.
"Morning sunshine" I hear my best friend Zayn say, slowly peeking my eyes open I see that he is standing beside my bed, a smile on his face.
"Get out my face before I throw the alarm at you" I growl, his smile adding on to my frustration.
Rolling his eyes at me he ignores my comment instead opting to sit besides me on the bed.
"C'mon princess, we're late" He says, his fingers making their way into my hair, a technique he has learnt wakes me up.
"I don't want to" I say, a groan once again leaving my lips. I was really tired. Night time was never good for me, I never got much sleep due to my brain thinking that it was the perfect time to think about everything that has fallen apart in my life.
"We're late babe, I already let you sleep in half an hour" Zayn says, sighing. He knows how I can never sleep at night. I had grown so used to the comfort of a body next to me at night that now my body could not function properly at night. It just goes to show that you should never get used to something, never think that it is permanent because the truth is it never is.
"I'm up" I say, forcing my body out of the bed. Ignoring zayn I head into the attached bathroom in my room, stripping myself of clothes. I avoid looking into the mirror not wanting to see the body that I hate so much.
I step into the shower, the hot water burning my skin, but it doesn't hurt. It's comforting in a way. I don't take long in the shower, knowing that I am already late for school.
When I get out the shower, I grab a towel wrapping it around my waist and head back into my room, Zayn is still there and he has already picked out my clothes.
When he turns around to look at me I can see the cringe he does before smiling at me. I look him in the eye, searching for disgust but all I see is sadness.
"No new scars?" He asks, his eyes roaming my body. I shake my head as I go to grab my boxers from the bedside table.
Zayn turns around when I begin to slip them on. After that I get dressed putting on the clothes he picked which weren't so bad. He had picked a pair of black skinny jeans, and a simple white long sleeve shirt. To complete the look I put on a pair of Nike shoes.
"Let's go" Zayn says, making his way out the room.
Sighing I follow behind him, and we begin to head out the house.
The drive to school isn't long, Zayn and I exchanging a few words here and there but it is mostly him talking and me looking out the window stuck in my own thoughts.
"We're here" Zayn says, stepping out the car. I sigh as I also step out.
We make our way into the school and as I look at the building I thank god that this is my last year.
When inside Zayn and I go our separate ways due to his locker being on the other side of the school.
"I'll see you in English" He says as he walks off.
"Bye" I say walking to my locker. I open it and begin to take out my books for first lesson, chemistry.
As I am taking my books out my eyes land on a picture. My heart stops for a moment, it was of me. I remember this photo very clearly.
It was the morning after I had slept over Liam's house, I had just woken up and he had been staring at me, his phone in his hand taking pictures of me sleeping. I had told him to delete them but he shook his head. And continuing to take photos saying he wanted to capture every moment with me.
The photo was of me smiling up at him, after he had said he loved me. I looked so happy.
I'm torn away from my gaze when I hear my name being called, turning around I am met with no other than Liam.
I can feel my heart stop beating.
"Hi" I say, a soft smile on my face.
"Hey" he says, and this hurts more than it should. it hurts when we talk and he treats me like I'm some sort of acquaintance that's never held his heart in my hand but it hurts even more when we don't talk and I feel him move on and forget me completely.
Everyday is hard, watching him move on. seeing him with someone else, seeing him kiss her the way he did with me but maybe with a little more love than what he had for me.
The smile he used to give me, now being given to someone else, the way his eyes light up more than they did when he looked at me.
Maybe he loves her because she's not me.
"How are you?" He asks and I can't help but feel like he is forcing himself to ask because he knows nobody will bother to ask me not because he cares enough to want to know. Nonetheless I pull a fake smile.
"I'm good" I say, being careful not to say fine because that was always our code for when I wasn't okay. I'm still not okay but he doesn't care anymore.
"That's great then" he says and I nod. Turning back to my locker, my eyes landing on the picture. I should probably tear it apart but I can't seem to it's the last piece I have of him.
I can feel my eyes begin to water so I bite my bottom lip. Suppressing the tears.
"I should head to class" he says,
Please don't leave. I want to say but instead I nod my head.
He is hesitate to leave, staring at me for a moment before he turns around leaving me alone.
SO ITS 3AM I CANT SLEEP SO I STARTED WRITING NEW STORIES LOL.
STAI LEGGENDO
Everlasting love - Niam
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