Everlasting love - Niam

Chapter 12

"Your first heartbreak is one of those things that never leave you the same. It never truly goes away no matter how hard you try because you'll always remember it. You'll always remember him and the way you loved him with a kind of love that was a different kind of fierce, a different kind of beautiful because it was the first one. And this, this heartbreak is the worst one. It is a kind of pain that hurts like you are burning alive and not only your skin is on fire, but also the entire forest of your blood and your bones and your veins and your everything. it is a kind of hurt where you tried to be strong and pretend that you're okay, but you're crying and everything is not okay because all of this, everything, is still red and broken and wrong. It is the kind of tender that is raw and screaming loud until everything goes numb and you're drowning because you never learned how to swim.

But its okay that it hurts because that means the love was real.

It was real."

Niall:

When I wake up the next morning it's to a warm body lying next to me, engulfing me in their arms. My eyes slowing blink open the sunlight blinding me. I groan but finally manage to open them properly, slowly I take in my surroundings my brows furrowing when I notice that I'm not in my own room. It takes me a little while before I realise that I am in Liam's room and the events of last night flood back to my mind. I look down to see Liam's face tugged into my neck, his breath soft and warm. This reminds me of the many times I used to wake up next to Liam and I have to force myself to look away from him the memories causing an ache in my heart.

I slowly try to move out of his grip but he his grip on me tightens, as if he is afraid to let me go but I know that is not true. Again I try to move out of his grip and this time I succeed refusing to look back at Liam as I quickly get dressed, anxious to get out of this room. After putting on my clothes and collecting my phone off the bedside table I hurry down the stairs, hoping to get out the house as fast as possible before anyone notices me and to stop the panic attack that is beginning.

Thankfully I manage to make it out the house without anyone noticing me. I release the breath that I have been holding before beginning my walk. I decide to take a longer journey home wanting time to collect my thoughts. I don't know where I am going I am just walking, too stuck in my thoughts to notice the outside world.

I'm not sure how long I've been walking but when I get home I head straight for the shower. I don't take long, getting out and dressing quickly. I feel more relaxed now after the shower, all my worries having been washed away. I walk down the stairs heading straight for the kitchen noticing the note my mother has left me on the fridge.

Nialler,

I've gone to work and won't be back until late, please give me a ring or text me to let me know you're okay. We've got lots of things to talk about tonight.

I love you xxx.

I sigh as I put the letter on the fridge, running a hand through my hair. As I go to put on the kettle the door bell home rings. I drag myself to the door with a groan, when I open the door I am met with the sight of Liam which surprises me. He is stood there with his grey sweats and matching hoody, looking as gorgeous as ever. The sight makes my heart flutter.

"Hi" He says awkwardly.

"Um hey" I say just as awkward.

"You left this morning" He says concern evident in his eyes "I just wanted to see if you were okay"

"Yeah, I'm fine" I say

"Can I come in?" He asks and I nod stepping to the side to let him in.

"Close the door behind you" I say as I walk back to the kitchen, mindlessly grabbing a mug in the cupboard.