Everlasting love - Niam

Chapter 7

Liam:

Worry that's all that was running through my veins. I was worried about Niall, he hadn't returned any of my calls or replied to my texts. I know I didn't have any right to worry about him but I couldn't help it, no matter what I'll always be concerned and worried about him. It just didn't feel like Niall to run off with a stranger, especially someone like Harry he was trouble.

I tried voicing my concern to Zayn but he didn't seem to be worried at all, telling me that Harry was a good guy and that Niall was in good hands. But I needed to see that he was okay for myself. 

Which was why I was stood outside his house waiting for him to arrive. His mother had told me that he hadn't come home yet so I resorted to waiting outside for him.

I should stop I know I should but there's this part of me that still deeply cares about him, a part of me that will never stop caring for him. I know I have Sophia but that doesn't mean that I'll automatically stop caring about him. It hurts him, seeing me with Sophia, I know it does but I don't intentionally go out of my way to hurt him with my relationship with her.

I never want to hurt him but I guess I failed at that. In the end I ended up hurting him more. I never meant to break his heart, he gave me every piece of himself and I promised him I wouldn't hurt him but things happened and I just want him to know I'm sorry for all the hurt I've put him through when I only had good intentions for ending things.

He pretends everything is fine when I know deep down its not and I know I'm the reason for that. The reason for the constant ache that spreads throughout his body.

It hurts me, knowing I hurt someone who I deeply care about, someone I loved once with all my heart.

All I want is to build a friendship with him, to mend things between us. But he makes it so difficult and I don't blame him, I could never blame because I am also in fault but I wish he would let me in again. It's selfish, so fucking selfish because he let me in once and I only left him broken but I want to see those parts of him again, be in his life again.

I don't deserve to be, I know I don't but I need to be, I never want to erase him out of my life. I can't and I never will because he means so much to me. We've been through too much for me to just drop him completely out of my life.

"Maybe you should head home" I hear a voice say behind me. I turn around to face Bobby.

"I want to talk to him" I say

"I know but it doesn't look like he's coming home anytime soon" Bobby says and I frown at that, Niall was never the type to stay out so long.

"I can wait" I insist and he doesn't say anything just gives me a look that I am unable to recognise before heading back inside the house.

I'm not sure how long I spend waiting for him but I spend the time thinking about everything that has happened in the past year. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

soon enough I hear a car pull up to the side of the drive way. I lift my head up to see Niall sat in the passenger seat while Harry drives. They don't seem to notice me, and I frown as I watch their interaction. It seems too intimate from what I'm seeing, I don't like it. Not one bit.

It seems as though my life flashes in my eye because one moment Niall is just seating and the next he is being pulled by the neck and his lips are making contact with Harry's. My heart races as I stare at them, hoping that Niall will pull away from him but he doesn't instead he cups Harry's jaw and deepens the kiss between them and it's then I know that this isn't the first time they've kissed.

They kiss for god knows how long and I sit and watch as my ribs constrict against my heart, threatening to burst it and let it bleed out. They finally pull apart and I feel as though I can breathe again.

Niall says something to Harry before getting out the car, waving at him when he drives off. When he turns around, he notices me, his face dropping.

"What are you doing here?" He asks

"I was worried" I say, willing my voice not to crack.

"Well I'm fine" he says, walking pass me and heading inside. I follow him inside.

"Where did you go?" I ask him as I close the door behind me.

"It doesn't matter" he says, running a hand through his hair and my eyes follow his hands watching them as they tug at the brown roots. I notice then that his hair was a mess and he smelled strongly of weed and sex, a combination that made my heart ache and my stomach churn with disgust.

"Did you sleep with him?" I ask before I even realise the words are coming out of my mouth. He looks at me for a moment as if studying me before speaking.

"Yeah I did" he's face is void of any emotions and yeah this fucking hurts more than it should.

"Okay" I say and I say nothing more deciding then that it's better if I just leave the matter "well I just wanted to check that you were okay and you are so I'm going to head home"

"Okay" he says beginning to walk upstairs "lock the door behind you" I nod my head turning around to leave the house.  I didn't like this, how we couldn't even hold a conversation for longer than five minutes.

And the worst feeling in the world is now we walk past each other, and memories flash through my mind and I have to suck in the feeling that I miss him but have to pretend that I don't because I know he's happy now, living he's life better without me. So I smile and I walk and realise that we've become strangers again.

this is so bad but I wanted to update.