One More Time - Part 2 of Forgotten Memories

Chapter 10

Day 7

I wake up when the first streams of morning light is apparent. Matt is to my left, snuggled into my arm, and Cody is to my right. I don't want to get up from their warmth. When I try to get up, I can't. It hurts, everywhere hurts. My limbs are stiff and I have a pounding headache. I slowly slide down from where I am, and try to regain feeling in my limbs. My arm is numb and throbbing, the bite is flaring red; even with the bandage. I carefully get up, walk around the sleeping bodies of the others, and head for the medical area of the store. The store is only a few aisles from where our sleeping area is, and I quicken my pace. I rush around the aisles, looking for more creams and bandages. I find creams of all sorts, cut relief, bruise relief, neosporin, and infection creams. I take them all, put them each on over the flaming bite. I take the adhesive bandage and wrap it tightly around my forearm. Then I look for pills, fever reducers, and pain relievers. I take the pills dry, then slide down to the floor. I breathe, close my eyes and breathe.

My vision is permanently blurry now. I can't fix it. Shaking my head won't do, glasses, medicene, nothing will work. I can still see, but its all a blur. My head hurts and it is hard to focus on one thing. My fever worsens and my limbs ache. I feel like vomiting, but can't. My legs are wobbley and their is a strange feeling in my gut. I wobble over to where the others are sleeping, tears in my eyes. I can't do this to them. I love them all, they are my family. I can't do it, not to them; not to anyone. Matt and mom, I just got them back. Jeremy, Lisa, Dan, Cody, Chris, I just got them back too. I haven't made my time with them worth-while. I've tried, so  so hard. I tried. I tried to be a good sister, a good daughter, and a good friend. I couldn't tell them and they were all so happy. Why? God, someone, please tell me why? This isn't an easy thing to do. I know I am dying, I feel it. Flesh rotting from the inside out. I tried so hard to stop it. I tried so very hard. I couldn't do it, I've let them all down. I'm going to miss colouring with Cody and Matt. Cooking with Lisa. Dancing in the rain. Playing catch with the boys.  Singing songs around the fire, telling happy stories. Happy times, they all have gone by so fast. I can barely remember the happy past, all I can remember is this infection; burning holes in my soul. All I hope is that they can remember, all the happiness we shared, the good times and the sad times. I pray they don't forget me. That they'll always love me, forever and always. Because I know I do. I hope they know how much I love them and care about them. They are my heart and soul and I've done what I have for them. I pray they aren't too upset, I don't want them to dwell on what happens soon, I want them to remember the times we had that were cherished. The times we all loved, we all hated, but not this time. Just not this time, I love them all and I hope they know, because this is the end for me. My final stand will be for them.

To be continued....

I cried so much writing this. I was almost sobbing. I hope you guys liked this chapter, it is almost the end of the story!