i love her, but i'm a girl [tagalog] (on going)

Chapter XIII.

AN : I know I know it takes me ages bago nakapag update. To be honest it has been a mix of writer’s block then busy sa summer class, it sucks akala ko pag summer mas madali ang tindi nung prof ko :/ M to F ang pasok plus terror niya pa pero nakapasa naman ako kaya ok na :D then yung weekends ko ginagamit ko para maenjoy yung summer kahit papano outing, gala, family day, shot.  I know masama yun pero ganon ko lang naeenjoy ang summer, then yung ex ko, jusko sobrang demanding. She annoys the shit out of me, she’s keep on demanding things na kala mo kami, punta ka dito, gawin mo to, samahan mo ko, labas tayo, sama ka samin. ako naman si gaga hindi maka hindi haha :D ewan ba. Pero tapos na yung SUMMER CLASS ko soooo, makakapag sulat nako ng mabilis bilis. :D hmmm why do I treat this thing as my diary? HAHAHAHA I’ll shut up now.

Anyway eto na, I keep on re writing this a couple of times pero di ko padin makuha yung gusto kong kalabasan, kaya pagpasensyahan niyo na if it sucks :/ medyo mahaba din siya.

SPENCER POV

I don’t imagine that it’s hard as hell to avoid her does she really has to spend Sundays with us? She’s making it hard for me to keep away from her further, I even avoid looking at her coz if I do, I know anytime I will give up in “Operation Iwas Ashley”. I must admit all the time all I want to do is grab her hand, go to my room and spent time with her. Enclose us in the little bubble that I created to surround us and separate us to the rest of world, but I can’t coz it’s the right thing to do. Does it’s really the right thing to do?

My family decided to watch movie later in the afternoon, im seating beside her. The small spaces between us doesn’t help at all, I really smell her, her scent that was really intoxicating and addictive, the sweet smell that my brain use to know, the scent that im longing for. God knows how I crave to lean my head unto her shoulder and close the small spaces between us but I can’t, so I just focus my attention in the bowl of popcorn in front of me. Eyes focus on the movie but if you ask me how the it goes, I just shrug my shoulder coz I don’t have a damn idea at all.

It’s the millionth times that I escape a deep sigh I think it became my habit that start this day and it’s also the millionth times that Mom send me a questioning glimpses upon hearing my sigh, I know she notice that something is wrong with me, with us, the way I treat Ashley. Im like an open book to her that she can read all the time, looks like mothers have a superpower at all and understand their child even without talking to them so it doesn’t surprise me if she ask me to drive Ashley off. But again I refuse it, even though I really love too I just give them some lame excuses to not to. Thank God Glen is being a nice guy today he doesn’t think twice when I ask him to drive Ashley off.

As soon as she leaves, I put down the popcorn bowl in the table in front of me, and run towards my own sanctuary my room, I need to process all this things that happening. Im pushing her away right? Does it really what I want? What’s wrong with me? when I reach my room I turn on my iPod and let it play for a while, I lay on my bed and shoot my eyes closed letting the music soothes me setting aside all the thoughts that come rushing through my mind. Music is just like a piece of heaven here on earth.

After a while, a knock snaps me back to reality “come in” I responded still eyes closed. “Busy” “Nah” I answered mom right back as I sat and crossed my legs in an Indian seat manner. She walks towards my bed and seat on the other side of the bed “Are you ok love?” I just nod for respond I don’t have any idea where it will lead to. “Look at you, you’re all grown up now” she says while straying some hair on my face behind my ears, I roll my eyes “Mom you been saying that since I was five” she giggles in the comment that I burst out “This time I really mean it, look at you, your inlove, you like her, your spending more time preparing just to impress her, your quite more happier now” “Mom” is all the word that I manage to say, I feel heat raising in my cheek, im sure im in crimson red now “Do you think I don’t have any idea what’s going on?” she ask me. I don’t mind answering coz I know even though I don’t respond she will continue to the thing that she wants to say “I know that you have a thing for Ashley and now you’re avoiding her, doing your best to do it.” I nod and look down finding that the pattern of my bed sheet is quite interesting