Alive

Chapter 13: Back Home

[[One Week Later]]

"Okay, be careful. You're still healing." Dean says as Sam opens the cabin door for me. I smile, my hand over my stomach nervously but confidently.

Dean and I walk in past Sam and I plop right onto the couch. "So, I've decided to make steak and grilled veggies for dinner. Does that sound okay?" Sam asks, plopping down next to me, his arm around me. I smile, "That sounds delicious oh my God. I haven't had something like that in a very long time." Dean walks into the kitchen and grabs himself a beer. He comes back over to us and sits in the chair next to the couch. "We need to try to have a good time tonight. No worries, just good food, beer, and some good music."  He smirks, taking a sip of his beer. I nod in agreement, looking over at Sam as we both smile at each other.  I lay my head on his shoulder, letting out a content sigh.

[[Before Dinner/ "I Was Wrong" -Sleeperstar ]]

I look at my reflection in the mirror in my bedroom. I have on dark skinny jeans, a light gray v-neck, and a black leather jacket. I move my long, straight hair to the front of my shoulders, fixing it. I check myself, making sure I look presentable. The makeup I put on my face completely covers the leftover bruises and scars on my face. After I finish, I stare at myself a moment. Flashbacks of Crowley and everything else begin to play through my mind.

I look down and slowly pull up my gray shirt, my fingers gripping onto my shirt softly.  I look at the patch that the doctors put over my stab wound.  I run my finger tips over it, studying it.  I can still feel and imagine the pain I felt when the knife went through me.

My thoughts wander farther as I continue to touch the patch over my healing wound. "You okay?"  Dean's warm and soft voice questions behind me.  I quickly pull my shirt back down and look back into the mirror, seeing his reflection behind me in surprise.

He saw what I was doing.

"Yeah!  I'm fine!"  I respond quickly, turning toward him with a semi-fake smile.  He slowly walks up to me, staring into my eyes.  He looks down at my shirt and grabs the bottom of it softly, pulling it up to look at the patch. 

I watch him closely, his touch giving me goosebumps just as it always does.  "Castiel says he'll be here tomorrow to heal you up completely."  He explains, pulling my shirt back down.  I nod, swallowing thickly as I look at his handsome face.

He looks back up at me again, deep into my eyes.  Suddenly, his expression changes.  He almost looks weak, or confused and upset.  "Elena..."  Dean whispers in almost a groan.  Almost in agony.

I narrow my brows, "What?"  I question.  I don't understand why he has this look on his face.  For a moment he doesn't answer, he just looks at me—staring into my eyes.

"What, what is it?"  I ask again.  He sighs, his hand reaching up and touching the bottom on my chin lightly. 

I feel it again.  The magnetic pull.  The electricity.

"I was wrong."  He says, in an extremely soft voice.  I give him a confused look, "About what?" I ask.

He swallows.  "I was wrong to leave you here.  I was wrong to let this happen to you, how could I let this happen to you..." His hand drops as he shakes his head, looking at the ground. The guilt is still there—it's still inside of him even though we've had this conversation so many times.

That responsibility he feels...it isn't real.  But I understand what he's feeling, and I don't want him to feel that way.

I fight back, "Dean, this was not your fault. Stop blaming yourself, please."

Dean looks back up at me. "Elena I can't. I can't stop blaming myself. It's been a week and a half since it happened and I'm acting like I got it all together and I'm over it but I'm not at all. All I can think about is how horrible it was to see you like that and how I just left you here. All I can think about is Crowley...and how angry it makes me...so angry that—".

This is where I cut Dean off, "Dean. Stop. It was Crowley's fault. Not yours. You can't put everyone's blood and lives on your hands.  Don't think about him right now.  We'll think about it later."

He just looks at me as I say this. I can tell his mind is traveling at ninety miles per hour and he's deciding what to do or say next. His gorgeous eyes look so deeply into mine and he leans even closer to me.

My brain begins to fire off—Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.

Dean's hands slowly make their way to mine. He softly touches my fingers and intertwines our hands.

I can't believe this is happening, what even is happening? Oh. My. God.

I don't stop him, but I look up at his face and watch him. He puts his forehead against mine. His breathing is a little heavy and I hear it perfectly because of how close he is to me. It's soothing, and it only makes me want his lips more.  I want him to kiss me so badly.  I'm ready for it this time.  I need it.

My heart begins to beat faster and faster as the moment becomes more heated. "Elena..." He says again, this time in less of a groan and more in a whisper. His hand travels from my hand to my wrist and up my arm, to my waist. His body moves closer to mine and he rests his hand on my waist.

"Dean, I—". I begin to say before we are both stopped by the sound of Sam running up the stairs. "Dean come help with dinner please! Elena you get to pick the music!" Sam yells as he runs up to my doorway.

Dean quickly pulls away from me before Sam can see us. "Sure thing." Dean says so casually as he walks out into the hallway, past Sam. He doesn't even look at me or acknowledge me before he leaves. This bothers me a little bit. He just acts as if nothing even happened. How does he do that?

I'm so surprised and confused at what just happened and it all happened so fast that I'm frozen there a moment—clustered.  "You okay?" Sam asks, noticing my reaction. I nod, snapping out of it. I look over at him and smile. "I'm great. Starving, actually."