Vanoss Crew One Shots [updates come and go]

Miniladd:Sleepless nights

*SENSITIVE TOPICS SUCH AS DEPRESSED AND SUICIDAL DISCUSSION*

Y.n's pov

These though's keep flashing across your mind. It scares you truth to hell. It felt like I was drowning. It felt like a million weights were in my chest. I had no idea how to get out. I wanted to just escape the pain, the darkness. Everywhere I looked it was there. It haunted me in my dreams. I woke up screaming and drenched in sweat. I had not one moment of relief in this hell. I wanted to escape. I wanted to leave this world. Everywhere I would go, I would break down. The fear of all of all people fueled the darkness. People screaming at me made me scatter around like It was me being yelled at. When someone playfully raised there fists at me I would back away in a flinch. I was scared of the darkness, of people. Until I met him. He was my light, He was my saving. Him. He was my everything I could depend on. The one who woke me up from my nightmares. Him.

"Y.n) WAKE UP BABY PLEASE WAKE UP!" Mini yelled to wake me up. I scattered around only to find he was holding me down. He put a pill in my mouth and gave me water. It mas my anxiety pill. I took it and sighed. I got up and ran to the bathroom with Craig in tail. I slammed the door and locked it and sat in the bathtub. To find only a few seconds later to have Craig bust the door off of the hinges. He pulled back the shower curtain, His eyes were red and bloodshot He picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. It was quiet besides the shaky deep breaths Craig was pulling in every few seconds. I looked at the clock. Right on time 3:15 a.m. "Craig I put you through this everyday, You are losing sleep from me, You look so tired all of the time. You don't play with your friends because you are always taking care of me. Craig I am a lost cause. I have no chance at life. My dad was always right about me." I said mumbling the last part. Craig whipped his head around with a fire burning bright in his eyes. "Every single second with you is worth all of the loss I go through. Everything is worth it because it's not hard to help someone you love try and fix themselves. You listen to me close okay, I love you, I love the boys, but I love you more, If you need me, I will always be here for you. You are no lost cause, because you are my cause All the sleepless nights I undergo are worth it because I'm helping out my Best friend, My light, My love." Craig said trying not to raise his voice at me. I looked at him finally, He was crying because of his frustration. He deep sighed and went to stand up. I pulled him back down. "Don't leave me please. I can't be alone." I said with tears in my eyes. He laid back down still fussy. I clung to side. He pulled me into his side. He was out within seconds. I was on the same train as him.

~Morning~

I woke up on his chest listening to his heartbeat. It relaxed me. As I laid there, I checked my phone. I picked it up to see my twitter was over flown with tweets. I thought to myself. I looked at a few of the tweets. I got up from Craig (who was awake) I pushed off of him and started to cry and smile. Craig looked at me. I smiled and cried even more. He was confused even more. I handed him my phone. He looked at a few tweets. He smiled and hugged me. "How should I explain to everyone?" I asked him with tears. "Make a video." He replied. I got up and didn't bother to look in the mirror. I pulled what felt like a tangled mess away from my face and placed it into a messy bun, (or ran my fingers through my hair to flatten it *for short hairc:*)or so. I took Craig's big light. I took my camera I used to make vlogs every now and again, Other than that I just uploaded old content I recorded. I set up the camera. I clicked the on button.
"Hey guys It's me!" I know right? Finally a vlog! I saw that you guys blew up my twitter last night and this morning. I cried when I read my little maniacs tweets. So as quite a few of you know, I suffer depression, Anxiety. I wake up screaming every night at 3 am. If you don't believe me ask my Boyfriend. Anyway, You guys asked me how I dealt with it myself. I honestly could not leave my house without a panic attack. I felt like I was drowning in fear, anger,sadness." I paused for a moment tearing up. I looked at the camera. I was live on twitch and I was going to take the footage and upload it to youtube for the fans to watch later. "I uh, I uh, I couldn't function without someone guiding me through it. I was lost. I couldn't find the steps with the darkness consuming me whole." I started to cry but not sobbing. " I am lucky I found Craig, He deals with me, He stays with me while I have my attacks, He cuddles me back to sleep at 3:30 in the morning." He walked in handed me a bottle. The viewers in the chat said Hi and stuff to Craig. That's when I noticed Tyler in my stream deleting comments and stuff. He was one of my moderators. Only reason I found out was because he put a heart. I let out a sigh. Kissed Craig on the cheek, and he left. I saw Lui, and David watching my stream too. "I uhh, I listen to music in public to help keep the anxiety at bay. If the old ladies give you looks and scoff, Ignore her she was prolly an old bag anyway." I said chuckling. "With the depression, I honestly have no idea. I keep people who cloud my vision with joy, happiness. I was actually suicidal at one point. I took pills, washed them down with Jack Daniels. I cut vertically down my wrists. I eliminated the rope, Suffocation isn't my thing. I honestly even put a gun to my temple. I tried to pull the trigger only to have the gun slapped out of my hand." i saw David send a in the chat, "You make me cry ;-;" I sighed. "I almost succeeded my plans with suicide. I wanted to get out of the cruel world. I stayed." I looked back at the screen. Tears down my face. "I'm sorry my little maniacs, I know I look like a mess." I chuckled. I felt my phone buzz. It was a Skype from David. I clicked answered. "Hey guys." I said into the group. "IS YE OKAY?" Daithi yelled. I chuckle. "Yeah Let me finish my stream. "I looked back to the Camera. "Anyway, If I would tell you, Listen to music, Keep old ladies away! Surround yourself with people who love you, Watch your favorite youtubers. Try and like, erm, express how you feel. If you have extreme anxiety where you can barely leave your house. Try to breath and work up the courage. I smiled. I love my little maniacs. I also wanted to say, Thank you everyone for helping me little by little." I heard a crowd of cheers come from my phone. I giggled. "Okay my Little maniacs I have to go. I'm sorry. I'll stream later with the boys." I heard sounds of protest come from (mostly Tyler) my phone. "Okay BYEEEEE I clicked end stream. I took the footage and uploaded it to youtube. I turned around to find Craig there. He was sitting on the floor watching me. "Hi baby." He said Sadly. "Babe..." I said. He looked at me, stood up and hugged me. "Why didn't you tell me about suicide?" He asked. "I didn't know if you wanted to know."I said. "ARE YE SURE YE ARE OKAY?" David asked screaming at the top of his lungs. I jumped. "YES DAVID!" I yelled. "Hey little maniac.You're doing fine in life" Tyler said chuckling. "HEYYYYYY GIMME SOME LOVE!!" Jon yelled. "I wuv you jon-jon." I said. "Better,If you need to talk talk to US!" Evan said. "HEY CHEER UP MANIAC!" Lui yelled in his squeaker voice. I giggled. I pulled my head off Craigs chest. He was staring off into the distance. "I love you guys, I have to go." I said pulling my phone out of my shorts pockets. "BYE" They screamed in sync. I left the call. "I love you Craig." I looked him in the eyes. "I loved you too princess."
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Word count:1501

Hi. If you liked reading my story lettme know by commenting or voting. I love every one of you who reads this. Thank you And as always I hope ye enjoyed (::). fair warning, No I'm Not suicidal, or depressed, I'm tired sometimes, I get sad some days. But to be fair who doesn't?