Vanoss Crew One Shots [updates come and go]

That one time//MiniLadd

READ:

This isn't happy, and it's not ideally what i would normally write, i'm telling you now. 

Trigger warnings include: Blood, Thoughts and Actions of Suicide,  and Over dosing of drugs, and lots of explicit words

I'm sorry..

Your pov

/i laughed watching Craig attempting to balance a water bottle on his face. I laughed loudly as it fell over and smacked him in the face. "O-Oh my god Craig! A-Are you okay!?" I asked wiping my tears giggling. He groaned and nodded his head yes. "C'mere you big dope" I said pulling him into a hug. He giggled hugging back. "I love you Y.n.." he whispered. "I love you too Craig." 

she screamed as Craig picked her up tickling her, she laughed loudly giggling, Craig gently laid her down kissing her softly, she leaned into the kiss giggling /

I cried thinking about us. It hurt so badly, If things would have gone differently i wouldn't be in the situation i'm in now. I looked down at my bloodied thighs and cried, gasping for air. Dropping the razor into the sink throwing up. I was disgusted with myself. I hated every single scar. I fucking hate it. I wiped my eyes, smearing my make-up across my cheeks. I looked at myself in the mirror feeling so much hate towards myself. I was dropping weight so fast, i couldn't help it. He broke me. He made me this way. He made me hate myself. My eyes were once full of life, now hollow, empty, full of hate. 

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Shit.. "JUST A MINUTE" I yelled panicking. I wiped vigorously at my legs with a wet towel, pulling on a pair of sweat pants. I was about to swing open the door when i caught a glimpse of my blood stained shirt. I hate myself. I ripped the shirt from my body throwing it into the laundry basket. I sprinted towards the door, forgetting about getting a new one. Swinging it open, i revealed Evan. "Um.. you don't have a shirt." Were the first words out of his mouth. I looked down to my neon yellow sports bra. "It's laundry day?" I tested, wincing at how shaky my voice was. "You're a wreck Y.n).. you're all skin and bones.." Evan said looking at me with pity. I looked down ashamed of myself. "it's been so hard evan.." i whispered biting my quivering lip. he pulled me into a hug. He didn't say anything so i continued. "Evan, i don't know when the last time i even ate was, I'm so disgusted with myself.." i said letting a few tears drip down my  face. He hugged me tighter. I felt the top of my head get wet. "I'm so sorry evan" I sobbed. He shook his head no. "I'm so sorry.." i whispered. He shook his head more. "i feel so guilty, because i love you and the guys, it's been so hard without Craig, and I don't know what to do, because i look like a fucking train wreck, i can't sleep without seeing him, and i can't eat without wanting to throw up. i'm so fucking sorry evan" i said trying to catch a breath. He shook his head more. he pulled out of the hug looking at me. he wiped my tears away kissing my forehead. He walked towards my door. "I'll be back soon y.n) please don't hurt yourself." he said. I looked at him. He nodded and pulled the door shut. I didn't bother locking it. i walked into my darkened room. plopping down on my bed. i laid down pulling the covers up around me. i shut my eyes, falling asleep for the first time in a few days. 

Craig's Pov

BANG BANG BANG 

Who the fuck is pounding at my door? I swung the door open revealing a highly pissed off Evan. 
"wha-" I was cut off my Evans angry screams. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" 
I looked at him confused. He gripped my wrist pulling me out of the apartment and towards his car. He opened the backseat and pushed me in, slamming the door. "What the fuck is going on" i asked. "You'll fucking see you animal." He spat venomously. He pulled up to y.n's) house.. He yanked me from the backseat of the car. "You better be quiet you asshole, i don't want to hear a peep from you." He growled as he pushed y.n's) door open. He grasped my wrist and jerked me into her house. I looked around. Everything was trashed. He pulled me into her bathroom, when i saw the blood droplets everywhere i pushed myself further into her bathroom gagging, I spotted the blade and i puked into the toilet. I started to cry softly.. i did this to her. I looked up at Evan and saw disgust on his face, he shook his head. "This isn't even the worst part." he gripped my shirt and pulled me up, pushing me out of the bathroom. He pushed her door open slightly, peeking in. He hushed me pulling me into her room. I looked all around at all of the scattered clothes, and all of the pictures of us. I teared up. Evan carfully unwrapped her from the big black blanket. He shifted the sweat pants down her legs giving me a full view of what she looked like. I covered my mouth with my hand to try and keep from sobbing. She looked terrible. She had and endless number of scars on her thighs and she looked so skinny. she looked terrible. Her cheeks are so hollow, and her eyes are so sunken in. I cried. How could she get like this? Why did i make her this way? She rolled onto her side breathing lightly. Evan looked at me with hate.  I looked at her, I wanted to run my fingers over the scars on her legs. I walked closer to her not being able to catch my breath, as I looked at all of the fading scars on her stomach, i looked at her wrists and then back to her thighs. "She was slowly healing.." i croaked pointing from her wrists to her thighs. I ran my fingers through her hair, sobbing. "oh nono.." I whispered. I pushed past Evan, whipping open her closet door, i ripped clothes out, pulling out a box. I shakily pulled out my keys, grabbing the oldest one on the ring. I pushed the key into the lock. The box popped open. I whimpered sobbing. "GET HER TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL EVAN!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. He looked at me baffled, then he saw the box. His eyes grew wide as he carefully picked her up throwing her over his shoulder rushing to the car. I paced through her room. I ripped apart the entire room. She was such a fucking idiot. She OD'ed on the drugs. She fucking. "GOD DAMNIT" I screamed throwing the box across the room. I screamed and screamed. I sat down on her bed, feeling hopeless. How did she get so bad? 

I looked to my right and saw a pill bottle with a sticky note on it. "If i failed once this is step two" I popped the lid on the pills. There was enough in there to take down an elephant. I did this to her. i don't know why i did it, but I did. and I feel fucking worthless for it. 

Narrator's pov

As Craig swallowed the hand full of pills,
 Y.n) was barely fighting to stay alive. She was tired, she didn't have a purpose on this world anymore.
 Craig sent out one last message to his family and friends.
 Y.n) spoke her last words to Evan, not knowing that he'd be forever haunted by them. "I love you.. I'm sorry.."
Craig laid down letting sleep slowly consume him, not fighting the feeling. 
Y.n's) eyes closed as the monitor slowly stopped, forming a straight line, the awful screeching making Evan panic, and burst into hysterics. 
Craigs heart sped down to a small thump....thump.....thump  before stopping completely. 
Everything happened so quickly. Just as Craigs heart stopped, Jonathan burst through Y.n's) door, sprinting into her bedroom where he found a lifeless craig. "SHIT!" He screamed. He ran to his side trying to make craig's lifeless body come back. His attempts were useless. He was gone. 
Evan pushed over the cart of supplies crying in rage. He screamed tears streaming down his face. He tried to make her eyes open again, anything to see the beautiful color. She was to far gone. 
They were gone. 

+++++

Shit man.. this fucking killed me to write

fuck me sideways

anyway... i'm sorry 

Update 1/26/17

I don't know why i wrote this, honestly this made me cry re-reading this  what was on my mind that i wrote something like this...