faking it l.r.h

0.4

Adelaide

Lunch couldn't come any slower, I was afraid my stomach was gonna cause a scene in math and get me kicked out.

I quickly walk out of the classroom with Riley by my side. Luckily, Luke was not in this class with me but the rest of the day is still undetermined. I wanted so badly to tell Riley about what happened in Anatomy in math but from what I've heard Mr. Kazowky is really strict.

"You will not believe what happened to me.." Riley begins and looks around to make sure no ones within earshot.

"What?" I reply, not really listening. I'm kind of busy with this first-day assignment he gave us. On the first day? That's completely unfair.

"So I told you about Sam, right? From the camp, I worked for at the beginning of the summer?" She asks and I try to recall a Sam. He's either the really tall brunette or the ginger. I nod anyway.

"Well, Jack told me that Sam told Stacy to tell me that he wanted to take me out but like why couldn't he tell me himself? He has my number doesn't he?" I daze off right about when she started talking about Stacy or Jacky.

"That's crazy..." I reply, looking into the distance. I grab a tray from the pile and grab what I want for lunch.

"You are not even listening to me." She scoffs. I look over at her then lower my voice.

"Something happened," I say and look around, searching for those blue eyes.

"Oh no- did you start your period?" She asks a little too loud. I roll my eyes and shake my head.

"I did not, something worse happened in Anatomy," I mumble and take a needed breath. Suddenly, she gets serious, which is completely rare for her.

"What happened?" She asks quietly.

I take out my wallet as she waits for my reply. Oh, Riley, I've made the biggest mistake of my life. This is the worst thing that could possibly happen to me. I pay for my lunch and walk to a table with the large tray in my hands. Riley follows me like a lost puppy waiting for me to answer her question.

"Well, I'm waiting for an answer?" She says and I set my tray down on the lunch table. We sit down and she leans in, waiting to hear what I have to say.

"I... I- think I told Luke that I was gay?" My eyebrows knit together and so do hers.

"How do you think you told him you were gay?- wait, are you?" She asks and raises her eyebrows.

"I'm not," I shake my head in denial. "I mean not that I have a problem with gay people, their human too-," I add but she holds her hand up to shut my rambling up.

"Besides the point Addie, tell me exactly what you said." She says calmly. I'm internally panicking, how can she be calm, maybe because it's not her.

"Well-." I swallow hard. "Luke and I are lab partners in Anatomy, yah know, and he started talking about his girlfriend and I don't know I just couldn't stop my mouth from moving." I run my fingers through my hair.

"So, what did you tell him exactly. Boys are dumb, he probably didn't even catch it." She tries to assure but I know he caught it. Luke is smart, even smarter than me.

"I said-." I try to recall exactly what I had said. "My girlfriend likes to dye her hair too and then he was like 'you have a girlfriend?' and I nodded my head and so I made it pretty obvious." I mimic his deep voice and thick accent. Riley's mouth forms an 'o' and I nod, my lips pursed.

"Yeah, I think you're fucked, hun." She mumbles and I smack my forehead lightly.

"I know I am," I say and look at the food in front of me. All of this has got my appetite little to none. I lift my head up and search the crowded lunch room for him. He's gotta be here. He's 'popular' now, so that must mean he sits with all the jocks and cheer snobs right? I look at the table filled with mostly girls fawning over the boys that don't even look like their supposed to be in college but don't find him there. Of course, he wouldn't sit with the girls drooling over him, he's got a girlfriend now, it's unacceptable for him to be around that kind of attention from other girls, hell, boys even.

"Uh, there he is," Riley says and I see her eyes flicker to me, then behind me. I turn around and find him talking to his friends, laughing like everything in the world is A-okay.

"Yeah, now he probably never ever wants to talk to me because I basically blurted out that I was gay." Ok, I didn't blurt it out but I might as well have.

"That would be very homophobic," Riley mumbles and I let out a sarcastic laugh.

"Yeah, it would be, If I were actually gay!" I whisper-yell.

"Maybe, pretending that you're gay is a good thing?" Riley suggests.

"What do you mean?" I ask curiously, looking over my shoulder to find Luke no longer there. I sigh and turn back around. What was I thinking, he would just stand there like eye candy? I think I know where she's going with this. She's going to say what I had thought after I told him.

"Well, what I'm saying is that pretend to be gay so that he doesn't think you're crushing on him anymore? Comprende?" She says with an amused face like she just found out my deepest secret.

"Isn't that, I don't know, mean in some way? Lying to him?" I ask and frown. She grabs the now cold pizza off my tray and takes a bite out of it.

"You wanna be his friend or not? Who knows, maybe he'll find that you're a lesbian attractive?" She shrugs and plops the pizza back down on my tray. I open up the fruit cup and grab the spork, peeling the plastic off the cup.

"He doesn't even find me attractive, why would he change his mind if I'm gay?" I say and shovel fruit into my mouth, awaiting a reply.

"I don't know, some guys find that hot." She shrugs again and then points to the sugar-free cookie in the corner of my tray. I nod and she grabs it, taking a large bite.

"I don't know." I swallow and put the cup down.

"Well, you better figure it out... because here he comes." She smiles and puts the cookie back on my tray, getting up and grabbing her purse. She winks before roaming around the lunch room.

I quickly take my phone out and pretend to be focused on it. From the corner of my eye, I can see him sit beside me, his eyes focused on me.

"Addie, we need to talk." He says sternly like I'm in trouble. Boy, what shit did I get myself into now?