The Attic

Chapter 13-- I think?

Why does my mom wake up at the worst of times and stay asleep at the times i want her to wake up? This time i bet she wasn't just going to ground me. Something a little more because that was the second time she saw me with a knife, for a good reason, I guess ? I tried to speak but i was choked up. Words were just flowing in my head wanting to spit out but i couldn't. We locked eyes. Her face was confused but furious. She went outside and started cleaning up, saying she wanted to go home.Why wont she believe me? I just don't get it! There really is a ghost that is trying to kill me. I packed up my stuff and i waited for my mom. She finally was done and walked faster than i was. I could tell she wanted to go home. You could see it in her body language and her face.

         We got home and i stayed in the kitchen where my mom was. I didn't want to go upstairs, just in case if that ghost-thing is up there. I was too scared to do anything. I was still really tired from last night, and i am way more paranoid then i was before. I couldn't think, i could barely talk, that ghost took my pride away. My mind felt like it was going to explode. I bit my lip and scanned around. I didn't want to move. I was too afraid. I didn't want to risk anything at all.

        "You're going to the counselor every day until you get this suicide thing off your mind." My mother spoke ashamed of me.

And now i had to go to the counselor! To tell the truth i was ashamed of myself too. I took a deep breath i still couldn't think. I didn't want to do anything. I just wanted to crawl up in a ball and hide. I didn't care if i wouldn't get to do anything, at least i wouldn't be paranoid and scared. If i did one thing that ghost could come and kill me. My head felt like it was on fire. But the flame wouldn't go away. It would just stay there. That ghost messed my whole life up. I was choked up in tears. I wish i was someone else. Why me! It felt like my face was just dunked in a swimming pool. It felt like i was going to explode. It felt so horrible, i just couldn't explain it. I sniffed. I wish i could just travel in time and go back to when i was 6, my dad was still here, i didn't have to make my bed, they would give me whatever i wanted if i gave them my best puppy eyes. It was such a great life. I remember the day my dad left. He said he was going to his mom's house but after that he was no where to be found. I bursted in tears. I couldn't control myself. I was so depressed. All the sad things that happened in life came up in my head and made me cry even harder.

         I settled myself down and found out i had to go to the counselor today in two hours. I didn't want to go there but i understood why she made me. I would have done the same thing if my child was about to kill herself. But i did not want to go. I did not know what what i was thinking that morning. My head got messed up i guess. I bet i was just really tired. To tell the truth i barely remember what happened that morning. Was i drunk? Ha no way. Well, i didn't really want to think about it so i just turned on the t.v and watched spongebob. I know thats stupid and probably not my age type but i really don't care at all.

         I signed in complaint when my mom said it was time to go.  I would never try to kill myself again, i was just scared and that ghost pretty much took my head. It felt like she replaced it with someone elses, i wasn't thinking straight. I just wanted to hit my head and forget about everything that had to do with that ghost and live a happy life. All i wanted was a normal life.

       The car stopped. We were there. The place was large and had many windows. I didn't want to take a step inside. We got inside and i ran to a waiting chair next to a large window and pulled out a couple magazines from the shelf. I scanned through the pages but nothing in it looked interesting. I lost hope and threw all of the magazines back. My mom walked to me and told me to get up. Our room number was 207, located on the second floor so we went to the elevator.

          We searched and found a gold plate that read 207. Tears formed. I wiped me tears and opened the door. I got welcomed by a very ugly women with a pair of nerdy glasses. I would not like to talk to her about my problems everyday.  Yes, i will update my Facebook status to "Going to talk to an ugly lady with nerdy glasses everyday! So happy! Not." I walked in and sat on the chair as my mom walked out.

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Hey! Sorry i didn't update in awhile, i have been super busy. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASe check out Ktsoftball's books! She helped me with an idea in this chapter and she is one amazing friend! Please check her profile once again. Guess what? I have had about 9,000 reads total on this book! Thank you for making this happen! I love you all!

Hugs! <3 :D

Jordyn