Invisible (Jai Brooks Fanfic)

Prologue

It's really not that hard to make yourself seem and feel like you're invisible.
All the way from first class up to sixth class I was always quiet at school. I never really wanted attention on me. I remember when I was either in fifth or sixth class and we were sitting outside in the yard like usually talking about our lives and by "we" I mean my friends were talking and I was listening.

I don't know whether it's that they all thought that I don't know what they were talking about just because I'm not Aussie and English is not my first language or whether they all just thought I was stupid but I remember how one time my friend was about to ask me for my opinion and then she skipped me and went on to the next person. She genuinely thought I didn't understand when in reality I understood everything perfectly and even had an opinion on it but I never spoke up.

It wasn't until the end of sixth class when I got louder and spoke more but that didn't mean I was going all out their.

Now I'm in my second last year of school and till this day I try my best not to be visible in class. Sitting at the back and staying quiet and constantly pretend to be either correctly your answer or filling in your journal usually works for being left alone unless your teacher hates you and know that outside of class you are loud. Don't get me wrong like I'm not pretending to be quiet in class just to get away with work like I obviously do talk in class because who doesn't?

Outside of class I don't care if I'm loud or not because I don't care what people think of me because I'm a loner anyway so what's the point?

I have a fear of being alone and a fear of being made a fool of when everyone is looking at you, so therefore school sucks because imagine having to practice saying "HERE" in your head before every class rolecall.

Well my fear of being alone makes me look like a weirdo outside of class because if I'm ever alone during school I will talk to anyone just so I don't look like a fucking loner around people. The worst feeling is walking alone while there is people around me it makes me want to curl up and die.

All my friends are out having fun during their teenage years, dating, partying and being teenagers but I always feel left out.
My friends have never been as close with me as with others even if they announce that I'm their best friend.
I always have gotten on better with guys yet I only had one boyfriend and it wasn't even a real relationship and all I have are female friends.. consequences of a boring estate and an all-girls school for six years.

By now I just fuck all that to the back of my head because family is more important than friends and that's the only definite thing I have in life.