The Underground Idol

After Shock

He gave me a warm cup of coffee and some meds to help my throbbing head but still no matter what I did it didn't seem to calm my nerves. The news were on and Zico was all the news stations seem to talk about. They kept attacking him speculating that he had been the one driving under the influence and switched seats with his manager last minute, but I knew other wise. I stayed up all night trying to find out the latest news, but it only made me angry and miserable whenever I'd hear something bad said about him, something about his past, or about SMTM 4, it just all made me sick. 

"Okay, that's enough." Jay said, grabbing the remote he shut the television off. "You can't watch this anymore." He sets the remote down on the table and crosses his arms over his chest looking over at me. I know I look like hell, my hair's all messy, my makeup smudged, my eyes are heavy and swollen, and I have a few bruises on me. Jay kept on persisting that I go get checked out at the hospital but I had refused ferociously that he gave up and settled with just handing me ice packs and medicine. "I'll head over to the company where he works at and see what's the latest news, meantime you need to take a bath and sleep." 

I swallow, Jay seems genuine about it. Usually he gives off these vibes like he could care less about anyone other than himself, but that all seems to be an act he puts for the sole purpose of entertainment. The way he's watching me right now concerned makes me see this other side of him that I'd never imagine he'd have if it wasn't for the situation we were in. 

I think back to when I had called him, it was 15 minutes to 3 in the morning, I knew I had woken him up by the sound of his voice, and when he heard how scared I sounded he rushed over without hesitating. He got to where I was in no less than 8 minutes and heading back it took half n hour. It made me wonder how fast he had been driving to get to where I was. 

He didn't crack jokes, or stare at me, or force himself on me like he always did, he was just focused on the road. He didn't even ask what happened, and I was perfectly fine with that. At a red light he briefly glanced at me and caught sight of the bruises, which was when he asked, "Are you okay?" Which resulted in me breaking down as I thought of seeing Zico the way I had left him. I hated not being able to be there for him at that moment he needed me the most, I hated it so much it made me breakdown out of anger and stress. 

Jay gripped the steering wheel tightly and didn't ask any further questions and instead listened to me cry like a fool. Since there was no sign of me calming down he told me a bit about his history with Zico and how they're friendship grew along the way. He told me how he went from seeing Zico as a k pop star to a rapper with much talent. He also told me how he and Zico shared the same taste in women which was why they were so jumpy around each other. It sort of made sense in the beginning when Zico had been so defensive around me and so had Jay. 

"Zico's different from all the k pop artists out there, he knows what feeling alone is like, he knows his talent, his potential, if he ever chooses to go solo I'll support him because I know he'll make it." The rest of the ride to his house I realized how much of a good person Jay was, and how he was really thankful for the friends he had and the fans he had, and really admired what he did. 

To be honest that whole playboy game he puts on all seems to be an act. I feel like the Jay I see in front of me is the real Jay not the one in public. 

"Ya!" He snaps. "Are you even listening to me?" I smile at him when he gets angry, and in that instant I realize that it's the first time Jay has ever made me smile. 

"Sorry." I mumble. 

"I'm gonna go out to see how things are, you stay here, okay?" He grabs the keys from the table and heads over to the door. 

"Wait." I suddenly stand and walk over to him. He looks back at me strands of his black hair get caught in his eyes as he looks at me. "Can you give him this?" His eyes seem to sadden a bit. 

"Yeah." He takes it from me, looking right into my eyes but I stare at the floor instead, it was a habit of mine to always look at the ground whenever Jay would look at me. I began to wonder why that was but then he shifts his eyes and heads to the door. 

I hear the click follow by a lock and then, I'm all alone.