A Story To Tell | Book 2

.15.

:::CHERI:::

I sat there at the kitchen table feeding Jeremih his fruit as Jeremy walked around the house gathering his things. And as bad as I wanted to run into him and wrap my arms around him to beg him not to leave, I was just too stubborn.

    Instead, I watched as he carried garbage bag after garbage back, out of the door. The thought of him leaving while the kids were here is what hurt the most.

    He'd thought up a lie to tell Cashmere when she asked him why he was packing all of his things in trash bags. The best excuse he could tell her was that he was going to be living with grandma and pop-pop for a while until mommy feels better because mommy is sick. Having that girl come in the kitchen with crocodile tears, asking me if I can hurry and see a doctor to get well. Jeremy knew better than that.

    He walked into the kitchen to grab his keys from off of the hanger and walked over to me and Jeremih who was covering his mouth to keep his fruit inside. Jeremy bent down and kissed his son on his forehead and looked at me as if he was contemplating doing the same thing to me, but caught himself.

    "I got everything." He told me.

    "Yep." I said, digging around in the empty bowl as if there was something still in there.

    Realizing that I was done feeding Jeremih, I stood up, almost bumping Jeremy in his head, but managed to yield back a bit to stand. I could hear him sigh as I walked over to the sink.

    "You gonna be like that for real?" Jeremy asked me.

    "I'm not being like nothing. It's you who wanna pack up and run."

    "The reason I'm packing and running is because you made me. I can't take anymore of this ass kissing. My lips are numb and I'm just done with it, Cheri." Jeremy explained for the umpteenth time. I rolled my eyes and turned away, back to the sink to wash out the bowl I'd just used...since I don't clean.

    "How dare you even fix up your mouth to tell Cashmere that I'm sick? You know she came in here asking me to go see a doctor to get well so that you can come back home? What kind of lie is that to tell a five year old, huh?" I looked back at him who was now looking guilty.

    "That's my fault. I apologize. But something is wrong with you Cheri." I shake my head, refusing to even talk with him anymore. "Look," I heard him walk up behind me, "I'm just going to continue working and making sure I pay all of the bills so that you can stay at home and take care of Jeremih. Hopefully, some time to yourself will do you good. Obviously us jumping right into something after you left your ex was a bad idea. He's left too much struggle on you."

    I rolled my eyes, taking a deep breath and drying my hands clean.

    "We don't need your money." I say as I walk over to Jeremih, past Jeremy and picked him up out of his highchair.

    Jeremy followed behind me as I walked Jeremih to his play area and sat him down. When I was satisfied that he was comfortable and was going to play, I walked back into the kitchen to get dinner started for me and the children...since I don't cook.

    "Well how are you and my kids going to live? You need money. And although we aren't together anymore, I can still provide. That's what I'm supposed to do as a man." He preached to me.

    "Take care of your kids. I'll get off my lazy ass and find a job." I argue as I open the cabinets to try and find something. I didn't know what I wanted to cook, honestly. All I knew was, I just wanted Jeremy to stop talking.

    "Cheri, I'm sorry I said what I said. I didn't mean most of what I said. I was just angry with the fact that you keep doing drive-by investigations on me. Especially when I'm not doing anything wrong." I looked at him, leaning my head all the way back to look up to him since he want to be as tall as a goddamn earth tree and shit and crossed my arms.

    "You did something wrong!" I shouted. "You literally broke up with my ass right there in front of your client and her fucking neighbors! That's what you did! You went so far as to lying to our daughter and telling her that I'M SICK! I'm sick? No, you're sick! You're sick as fuck! Get the fuck out of my face!" I shouted, shoving his lower stomach, wishing I were shoving his damn chest. I hated being just 5'2".

    "You really gonna cuss me out like that in front of our kids?" He argued.   

    "Did you give two fucks the other day that Jeremih was around while you were bad talking me? No! So it don't matter. What?" I say.

    Cashmere came from out of the hall, peering in at us with sad eyes. "You don't want your daughter to know that the real reason why you're leaving is because you don't want to be with her mother anymore because her mother is to GHETTO?!" I say as I looked back at Jeremy who was now clenching his jaws as if he wanted to swing on me. "Be honest with me and honest with yourself, Jeremy!" I shout.

    "Not in front of the kids, Cheri." Jeremy said to me through clenched jaws.

    "Nah. You're packing up your things in front of the kids. You're leaving in front of the kids! It's already been in front of the kids. Cashmere is of age now to understand that some parents fall a part! The same as me and Martray did!" I argue.

    "Don't mention his name in this house!" Jeremy shouted.

    "Says who?" I say, lowering my voice. "You don't live here anymore." I say in the nicest tone possible before turning away from him and walking past Cashmere who was now crying her eyes out.

    I walked into the bedroom and slammed the door shut. This was the part where I slid alongside the wall and sat my ass down onto the bedroom floor with my face buried into the palm of my hands.

    Crying was no option. I had to be strong. And I know that my attitude had driven Jeremy away, but maybe that's where he needed to be. Far away from me. I could hear him in the living room, consoling Cashmere because she was crying. I broke her heart and I didn't feel good about it. But there was no reason to lie to her about what was really going on. I may have damaged any chances of me and her father getting back together, but what's done is done. I no longer had control.

    I heard the front door shut, so I guess Jeremy left. Cashmere's cries were getting closer and closer to the door before it swung open. I looked at her from the floor and she fell onto the floor, diving into my arms.    

    Oh, God...what did I just do?

    Not only did she have to experience losing a man that she thought was her father since the day she was born to the judicial system for almost killing her favorite uncle, she just witness the man who was her real father walk out on her. And I can place the blame on that. It was no one's fault but my own. But best believe, Cheri was done with relationships for good. I got nothing good out of them. They always tore me up and my trust was somewhere in New Mexico because the trust wasn't here.

    I could never trust another man the same way that I trust Martray during our marriage. I'll never be able to trust another man the same. I'm just what Martray told me the day that our divorce was finalized. I'm nothing but "damaged goods". He was right. I was damaged. And there was nothing anyone could do about it.

    It's over and done with.