A Story To Tell | Book 2

.40.

:::CHERI:::

I was seated at the kitchen table going through old emails on my laptop while Cashmere was on the sofa eating her Happy Meal. Jeremih was posted up in his play pin fighting sleep. Jeremy was supposed to be on his way hours ago to pick them up so that they could spend the weekend with him. I, on the other hand, was going to be spending my weekend getting my life together and it was all starting with clearing out my email. After that, I was going to clean the house from top to bottom. After that, I was going to clean out my closet and get rid of old clothes that I no longer wore. There was plenty more things to do and I was on a role. 

    Cashmere had walked into the kitchen to throw her empty Happy Meal box away and looked at me with the sad face. When I saw her almond shaped eyes looking all glossy like she was about to cry, my heart had melted. My daughter is such a heart breaker and I love her so much. She walked over to me with her hands behind her back, her long, bronze, curly pigtails bouncing as she walked over to me. She leaned up against me and I put an arm around her, chewing the last bit of my chicken nugget.

    "What's wrong, mama baby?" I asked her, curious to know.

    "Are you feeling better so that daddy can come home, mommy?" She asked me in her baby voice. I closed my eyes and sighed, getting upset at Jeremy all over again for telling Cash that lie. I rolled my eyes and looked back up to her.

    "Baby, daddy didn't move away because mommy was sick. Daddy told you that because he didn't to hurt your feelings." I admit to her. She gave me her sad look again, making me feel even worse for what Jeremy and I were putting her and her baby brother through.

    "Are you and daddy getting a divorce, mommy?" Oh my God, it saddens me that at only five, my daughter knows about divorces. If I didn't realize that I was putting so much strain on my daughter, I do now. This wasn't how things were supposed to be. She wasn't supposed to know anything about this. I have really got to focus on my children more and instead of me and my relationships with men. This was getting out of hand.

    "Baby, your daddy and I were never married." I tell her.

    "Well, is he going to disappear like my other daddy did?" I sigh and look up to the ceiling. Is it wrong to say that I feel like a horrible mother? My God, what did I subject my daughter to?

    "No, baby. Your daddy is always going to be here for you. He's not going to disappear like Martray did, okay? Jeremy loves you so much and he wants to see you grow up and become what you want to be." I smile at her.

    "A preacher!" She smiled.

    "Good! You want to be a preacher?" I ask with a big smile on my face.

    "Yes, ma'am! I wanna be a preacher. I want to teach kids my age that not everything in the weld (world) is bad. God made good people, too and I want to be a good people." This girl was something else.

    Most kids at the age of five want to be a doctor, lawyer, even a veterinarian, but my baby girl wanted to be a preacher? Now that's something you don't really hear everyday. But I love that idea more than I liked my own. I was sorta hoping she'd want to be a lawyer or something. But, I'll settle for a preacher, she could still do something else while preaching, so there's hope that she'll become a lawyer.

    "You mean, good person. You want to be a good person." I correct her.

    "Yes, ma'am." She smiled as if her spirits have been lifted. Mine has.

    "Go put on your Jordans. Your daddy should be here to pick you and your brother up any minute now." I tell her, looking at the Michael Kors watch on my left wrist.