Frozen inside (Kellic)

chapter 23

Kellin's pov~

Vic had opened his eyes, but then closed them in pain; I only got to see the bitter darkness of them when he blinked insignificantly, and then looked toward me. His brown hair was flying behind him, the wind moving it to wherever it needs to go.

He laughed without humor, "When I was...about five...I remember my life being happy, enjoyable, even. I didn't have to worry about anything and I did what I wanted; and all that consisted of was being a kid. But..about four years into my childhood; and..then my dad became abusive. Him and my mom started to argue and at first it was just gas prices..But then they started fighting about how they annoyed each other and how my dad began to drink a lot. That soon then left  to my dad beating my mom every single day..until she had attempted to run away, with me by her side -but my dad had caught her...and-" Vic had paused, his eyes becoming watery, and his lips quivering as if he were about to break.

I pulled him closer towards my chest, and watched as he broke, "shh..shh you don't have to continue.." He wiped his tears away and that's when I saw the pain in hid eyes; I hated him like this, I wanted everything to be okay, I didn't know all of this weight was bringing him down every waking moment of his life.

And the anger I had for his dad was unbearable.

"But anyway," he continued, after a moment; and that broke me from the trance I had there just a second ago, "when my mom died..my dad started to hit me. Day by day it got worst, first it was the slapping, then it was having a leather belt being slung across my back and body to the point where it was covered in red bruises..and then came him kicking me and throwing me around...And then came the frustration in the morning because I knew he'd come in my room and touch me...and I'd know it because I'd waken up one time in the middle of the night with him on top of me." He had finished painfully.

And I had so much anger, so much steam that didn't go away. I felt like killing his father myself, I felt like holding bid heart because I knew it was beating for me anyway. I couldn't forget him, the passion I had for keeping Vic safe as  Insane and I hated it. Nobody deserved this.

it was completely surreal and I wish I could take all the pain away and give him all of my heart.

I had to calm myself before I began to get violent myself, I exhaled, and looked at the boy who was tight up against my chest, "I was in an accident...that's why I don't remember most of my childhood." I said.

He was confused, "what?"

"You had mentioned -a few weeks ago- that we've met before in elementary school and Middle school and I'm sorry for that. I was a huge dick to you, though and now I remember why." I had told him.

"Don't worry about it." He said, but it was a murmered whisper.

I exhaled, and relaxed my shoulders as I gazed up at the dark sky full of illuminating stars, "you're afraid that..if I...no if we, have sex, that I won't like your body because of all the bruises?" I asked him, putting the pieces together.

We looked at each other, and he nodded slowly. I intertwined my fingers with his and kissed his lips, "Vic, that's not going to happen. I don't care if you're yellow, black, white, purple, or red. Hell, if you had down syndrome I wouldn't care because you're still Vic. You're becoming a work of art, there were desperate times and desperate measures, and you came so close- your hopes were settled by the down time. But a million waves in the ocean crash at once to make you smile, I promise. I don't give two flying fucks if you have bruises all over your body, because if I we r  you I'd let them show. They're a sign of bravery, what you can and have been through, what happened and why it happened and how you've dealt with the situation. But I love you, and I don't just want to have sex with you because I'm attracted to you, but because I have a connection with you. And I feel like it would maximize if we expressed ourselves that way." I finished.

And Vic sat there, motionless in white. his eyes frozen and distant gaping away elsewhere, "you really think of it that way?" he asked, his lips barely moving.

I nodded, "sure; you didn't think I thought of it as just sex?"

"Actually, yeah, I did.." and he stopped as he examined my eyes, they were hurt.

But he sat in my lap and wrapped his arms around my neck and gave me a brilliant smile, "you ? know what? I don't care about what I thought before. I- Don't talk much because I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing- it's a habit I got from when talking to my dad."

"Why don't you just call the cops, or child protective services?" I had asked him.

"If I did that, I'd have no family to go to, and they'd send me away and...I'd never see you again." He has finished, but continued his thought, "you're the reason why I wake up every morning. It used to be my guitar, or Shannon and Tony, but I love you so much that...you've become a part of my life. I remember when you'd first approached me, I thought you could never feel physically and emotionally attracted  to me but you proved me wrong. And I love you for that." He said. And with that, he grabbed the back of my neck and pressed his lips with mine, they collided with each other and the energy was amazing. I tasted his sweet lips and our tounges grasped each other, sending us both into a frenzy. I tangled my fingers into his hair as I grinded into him, thrusting this passionate kiss to go farther because we both wanted it to. But he pulled back, slowly, and steadily, making the moment last longer.

"When the times' right" he told me, and smiled.

I pecked his lips one more time, just to sever the craving, "okay." I grinned, bringing him to my chest again.

I wish we could've stayed there all night.