Rebel Love Song

Mistakes

Vic's P.O.V.

Slow motion. That's what I felt as the pills washed down my throat as the alcohol left a burning trail. Within a few minutes my body went numb and I felt drowsy. I was in the clouds as my head buzzed and my body felt light. I took another swig of Whiskey and popped another blue pill, sure it was dangerous but damn I don't care. Tonight's show was amazing besides the fact that Tony fucked up and Mike's drumstick hit me when it snapped in half. Scowling in frustration I gulped down more whiskey and two more Paxil's. 30,60,90,120,150, and finally 180. That was my lucky number tonight. 180mg of Paxil. I felt as if I was weightless and carefree. Everyone was out partying and having fun while I sat here drinking and probably overdosing on my SSRI. The tour bus seemed lonely and cold. When did the happy memories become dead and well just that, memories? But then again, when did I become just a happy memory? Now I'm just a robot on autopilot, almost as if I'm a routine show. Fake a smile, warm up, play a show, pretend to laugh, drown my sorrows, and when everyone is asleep I do my last act; it's a bit different from the rest but I swear it's the best. I draw with silver and it suddenly turns red, magic!

Tony walked in laughing as Jaime made a weird face. I quickly capped my pills and took one last swig of whiskey. I closed the curtain after I hid the dangerous paradise and walked to the couch were they were. "Hey" the laughter stopped. Tony sat on the couch next to me and crinkled his nose. "You've been popping pills haven't you?" I chuckled nervously. "Tony don't kill the buzz. How was the party?" Jaime slowly approached us as my heart rate slowed down. "Tony take it easy, Vic probably had a bad show or something" it was as watching a sunny day suddenly become a tornado. The calm peaceful turtle started shouting at me. I only heard snippets of his loud abrupt speech.

"STOP ACTING LIKE YOU DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT ANYTHING! YOU HAVE US! YOU HAVE YOUR FANS! YOU HAVE A FUCKING FAMILY WHO ACTUALLY LOVES AND CARES ABOUT YOU!" Whoa. When did I get so dizzy? I stood up to tell Tony that I didn't care, I could fucking die and I would be happy then....possibly. "Turtle calm down this is my last time, I promise." he was crying now and Jaime held him from his waist. "No no no no no no!" he was screaming and crying and my vision was getting blurry. "It's okay turtle, please calm down, please don't hate me! I love you, you're my brother practically and you just can't hate me. I can't lose you too turtle" He faced me just as pain shot through me. My chest ached so terribly and I couldn't breathe. "You lost me along time ago Vic" Tears formed and my heart hurt "Turtle please" I pleaded with what little breath I had and he just looked down "Only my friends can call me that, I'm sorry Vic" my heart felt constricted, I was dying. This was it. The great mystery of what comes next will finally be answered to me. Tony screamed as I collapsed to the ground as Jaime tried to catch me. My mind went blank as my vision went black

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Beep beep beep beep
"Victor?"
Ugh, what is this pounding in my head? Since when did I get hangovers?
"Victor?"
Who the fuck is calling me and why are they using my full name? I slowly opened my eyes and immediately hissed in pain. The throbbing in my head worsened and chatter was avid in the background. Hesitantly I opened my eyes again letting them readjust to the lighting.
"Victor do you know where you are right now?" I looked up and saw a middle aged woman with a clipboard in her arm and a pen in the other hand. I was in the hospital, great. This would make headlines for sure. I shook my head yes and she quickly wrote in her clipboard.
"Do you know what happened? Do you know why you're here?"
Again I shook my head yes and she then asked me to tell her what happened. "I mixed my medicine with alcohol and I fainted" she nodded at my croaked out words but she shortly corrected me. "Mr.Fuentes you had a heart attack"