Inside My Mind: An ADHD Journal

5/23/13

5/23/13

Wow-zah!

Okay, okay. I can say all I want about this and about having done absolutely nothing to this journal for two years, but I've still left you all high and dry… for TWO YEARS.

So minor update on things you all don't care about but are still relevant to me.

-I’m in 10th grade. I am an English and Art major with interest in Foreign Languages and Cultures… essentially; I have a thing for words.

-I have dated, twice. Er.. thrice. And I’ve decided boys are overrated for the moment and I’ll date later when I’m in college or something. I’m extremely pessimistic about it all. To my own fault I suppose.

- I have a caffeine addiction from drinking either tea or coffee every morning since September, so I get a terrible headache when I forget my tea or coffee.

- I am a whovian, a trekkie, a comic books fan, a sherlockian and whatever else is pretty stereotypical with those things.

- My music tastes have taken a turn for the more cultured if you ask me. To the tune (if you pardon my pun) of The Airborne Toxic Event, Imagine Dragons, Momford & Sons, Of Monsters and Men, Linkin Park, Muse Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes, Walk the Moon, Atlas Genius, and Phoenix. All of which I’ve seen in concert.

- I find myself a lot more subdued than I was previously in this journal. Though, on numerous occasions I have, walked into walls, tripped on nothing, professionally made a laughing fool of myself and done down right unexplainable things. That said, I have matured, but my dealings with ADHD remain at a steady constant. Just this week I have forgotten my pill twice, leaving me at an impasse for the grueling day of school ahead. That forgetfulness I must chalk up to my overactive mind simply skipping over it in favor of more important tasks, like putting on pants or remembering a text book I’m required to bring.

So, now on to the shameless self-promotion and insert…

I have started a One Second challenge sort of thing.

Basically I saw a video that talked about taking one second of video for every day of your life, the goal was to allow you to document every day, be it hard, sad, easy or happy. So, I’ve taken to doing just that.

The link to the video that inspired me is on the side bar of the blog site which I will link below, but it’s basically cloudsofjupiter dot blogspot dot com

Okay. To the fun bit.

So, functioning without one’s medication can be a tricky thing. I will make it abundantly clear that it is never my intention to forget my pill on any occasion. That said, by second period, about halfway through and three quarters of the way to the bottom of my tea mug I let out a muffled “fuck”, having finally realized, after recounting my morning in my head a couple of dozen times that I have in fact forgotten my pill. Now, on an aside, and pleas bear with me I’ll get back to my point in a moment, I have terrible eating habits, and to anyone reading please do not use my habits as an example at all. I do not eat breakfast, mostly because the early rising time of 5am does not condone the time itself for getting breakfast, but to that end, I also hardly eat a lunch. (though, because suppressed appetite is a side effect of my medication, on days when I do not take my pill, or on days when I forget to, I eat like a massive pig, it’s rather grotesque to be entirely honest.) So, knowing this, I come to the obvious situation of the fact that I am starving. I have not eaten anything since the night before, and in my rush to not be late to school I have forgotten my lunch and simply passed it off as alright thinking that I wouldn’t have the stomach for it later, anyway.

Back on target, the first rather tricky obstacle to forgetting one’s medication is the later feat of dealing with my piggish apatite with little sustenance to quell it. So come 6th period, as I slowly lose my mind during a dull health lecture, I reach my hand down into my backpack and grab a granola bar I’d been saving since my mom pegged it at my head in a fit of anger several weeks before. It quickly disappears into my black hole of a mouth and I am at least tided over until my lunch… next period. At lunch, I am yet again at an impasse, major hunger, and no food to feed it. However, friends are a wonderful thing, and Kelly, Kayla, Jason and myself make a trip to the cookie corner (my very first all year, seeing as I pack a lunch if I eat one at all) to purchase not one or two cookies but six that I proceed to engulf at an alarming pace. My friends were speechless to say the very least. Utterly mouth to the ground, speechless. Previously, a rather large and humorous to-do was made about my consuming anything larger than say a small pack of superman gummies. So for my friends to see me down six whole cookies in less than two minutes was quite… disconcerting.

The second and even more bothersome obstacle would have to be the lack of concentration. Now that said, it is insanely welcome and appreciated in my Art class because I have found I am at my artistic prime when I am off it, or completely by accident on a double dose of it (another story for another day) however, come second through eighth periods you’d be lucky if I can stay focused long enough to copy down the homework assignment. (I’m surprised I’ve stuck with this entry thus far to be honest) That said, I struggled through the rest of the day, much to the thanks of a rather addicting iPod game – Flow.

So seeing as I’m running out of steam and attention for this, and also that dinner is done and I’m hungry I will bid you all a fond adieu and I will make the ever so hallow promise that I will return before two years have passed.

-Kate