BEFORE YOU READ!!!!
THIS BOOK IS INSPIRED BY TRUE EVENTS AND BASED ON MY REAL LIFE BUT FROM THIS CHAPTER ON THIS IS MOSTLY NEW IDEAS NOT ACTUAL EVENTS BUT I HOPE YOU STILL ENJOY XXX
My head is spinning and my heart sinks to my stomach as the doctors words eventually register in my mind.
"I'm sorry, we tried our best, but his organs started failing and it was too late." The doctor says drooping his head low.
I feel myself collapse to my knees. I can't tell if I am crying, if I am screaming or even if I am breathing. My entire world is collapsing on itself and my heart is burning.
I feel my mum grasping me tightly and her tears dripping onto my head and wetting my hair. I feel my own hot tears rolling down my cheeks but my face remains expression less.
"Dylan, thank you for all your help but I think we need some alone time." My mum says through choked sobs.
Dylan's face is filled with devastation and defeat. He places a hand on my shoulder as I am wiping tears away.
"I am here when you need to talk." He whispers.
His hot minty breath tickles my ears as I continue sobbing.
My entire head starts spinning as I kneel on the floor watching Dylan walk to his truck through tear stained eyes. Then everything that happens next is a blur.
----blackness----
I wake up in my mums arms lying in her bed. I look around and see tissues sprawled all over the bed and floor. Mum looks as if she has cried herself to death. Still wearing her blue nurse scrubs and mascara stained all over her eyes. I look at the digital clock on the night stand which reads 2:36am. The lights are all still on.
I turn onto my back careful not to wake my mum and my stomach lurches. Reality starts to sink in. I feel as if there is a part of my heart that has been torn straight out of my chest.
For hours I just lie there feeling numb. Not able to move or think. I can hear my phone ringing and buzzing in the kitchen but I don't get up to check it. I simply can't.
Mum starts to wake at around 6am.
"Morning darling." She whispers to me.
I don't reply and just continue staring at the ceiling.
"How long have you been awake? You must be exhausted." She adds.
I consider not answering but then decide it's not fair to shut her out.
"How could I sleep knowing that my father is dead." I answer bluntly.
This time it's my mum that doesn't answer. I feel like crying but I know I am all out of tears.
We lay in silence for a few hours until I can't take the sound of my phone ringing anymore. I drag myself out of bed and slump to the kitchen.
I have 23 messages 7 missed calls and 4 voice mails. I start to flick through them one by one.
Allison: Liv my mum just told me, I can't begin to imagine how your feeling but I want to help.
Allison: please respond when u get this
Allison: we will stop by after school today
Allison: I love you
Meghan: sorry I forgot to text you when I got home.
Meghan: did you get home safe?
Nanna: Liv, tell your mum to call me. Love Nanna
Dylan: are you okay?
Dylan: sorry stupid question
Dylan: text me please.
Dylan missed call (3) and 2 voice mails
Eloise: hey little sis, got a call from the hospital last night. Talk to me baby girl I love you stay strong. X
I skip reading the rest of my messages and call my big sister Eloise. She is 32 now and lives with her husband and kids in Sydney.
It rings for a few seconds until my niece Maya finally answers.
"Hello mummy's phone, Maya speaking." my niece answers in her cute and innocent voice.
"hey May, it's aunty Liv, can you put mummy on the phone please?" I say breathing heavily.
"ok, Mummy!" I hear her shout from the other end of the line.
There is rustling and I hear Maya hand the phone to Eloise.
"hey gorgeous girl how are you holding up?" She says sweetly into the phone.
I stand holding the phone to my ear not knowing what to say. I can feel tears burning in the back of my eyes and I take a seat at the table and rest my head on my hands.
"not too good I'm guessing." Eloise sighs
I sigh loudly and answer. "I just feel numb, I don't know how this could have happened." I begin.
"I know baby girl. I had a good cry myself, so did Nathan.." She empathizes.
"I feel so guilty El, if I had of been here none of this would have happened." I start to cry.
"liv. There was nothing you could have done! sometimes older peoples hearts just give up, you did everything you could." She ensures me.
"But he wasn't old! he was barely 55!" I shout through choked sobs.
At this mum rushes into the kitchen now dressed in yoga pants and a baggy shirt with her golden brown hair tied loosely in a pony tail at the back of her head.
She grabs my phone from my hand and kisses my forehead.
"Go get some rest sweetheart, you can talk to family later." Mum says placing a hand on my shoulder.
She then holds the phone up to her ear and talks to Eloise. "Hello darling, Liv is still a bit shaken up and so am I, would you mind if we call you in a day or so?" She asks politely.
My mum and sister say good byes and mum hangs up the phone. She pulls me in for a hug and says softly in my ear,
"l know it hurts Liv, but we need to try moving forward. There is so much we will need to organise now such as the funeral, friends and family visiting also finances.. Just try focusing on moving forward. I have called school and explained our situation and they have been very sympathetic and allowed you the rest of the week off."
With that mum walks into her room and shuts her door leaving me at the kitchen table trying to decide what to do with my day.
As I am thinking to myself I hear whinnying from the paddocks. The horses are getting hungry. I look down at my outfit and realise I am still wearing the clothes I wore running yesterday. I don't bother changing and walk outside and put on some gumboots, not bothering with socks.
Lilly and Kahuna both greet me at the gate and this makes me smile. I open the gate and walk to the feed shed. Lilly squeals and trots up beside me.
"No ride today girl, mummy is sad." I sigh patting the exited mare.
Lilly nickers softly and slows to a walk as we approach the feed shed. I chuck them both a biscuit of hay and mix their feeds.
Once the horses are eating I decide to walk around the paddock to try getting my mind off of things.
time can be cruel at times like this...
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My Life As A Cowgirl
ЧиклитLiv is a cowgirl in a suburban town. At school she is know by her peers as "the outgoing one" to her teachers she is "the rebel" to her parents she is "there little cowgirl Angel" and to boys she's "high risk" When Liv looses one of her closes famil...
