If These Sheets Were States

35. I Wanna See Your Face and Know I Made it Home

Bella sat there in silence, suddenly feeling all alone. She stared down at the floor with her hands in-between her lap, twiddling her thumbs. A million thoughts were running through her mind, and she couldn't put a halt on them. She could feel the tears bubbling in her eyes, and she could feel this knot fraying from the tightness in her stomach. Her stomach was clenching and she was pretty sure she was going to be sick soon. She looked up to find Paige walking towards her with two mugs in her hand, and half smiled when she saw that Paige was handing her a hot chocolate. They both sat there, the silence was deafening them. They both played with the mugs before taking sips from them.

"So.." Paige started. "I'm guessing we're both depressed for the same reason right now." One side of her mouth curved, in an attempt to smile. She reached across for Bella's hand.

"Yup." Was all Bella could say as she held on tightly to her best friend's hand. They must have looked like lesbians, surely. But they didn't give a shit. Lesbians were cool anyway. "I don't know what to do, Paige."

"Me either. I thought it was just fun with Zack. And.."

"And what?"

"I don't know. Today is the first time he left since he came to my house. And it kinda hurts not walking into the room and him being there. And I probably sound like some obsessed little fangirl. Ha. I love your hair, play Circles, I'm your biggest fan." Both of them started laughing as they tried to take a sip of their hot chocolates. "It doesn't feel right. Him not being there, I mean."

"It doesn't feel right at mine either."

"What do we do?"

"I want to go with them, Paige."

"Me too."

"Alex said he wouldn't let me."

"Why?" A puzzled look on Paige's face spread.

"Basically said I had too much here to just throw it away on some crazy escapade."

"But.. it's not crazy. You two are in love."

"What about you and Zack?"

"What about us?"

"Elaborate.."

"Well.. I reckon he went to say that he loved me before he left, because he kissed me and then.. he went to open his mouth and it just looked.. like the words were there, if you understand? And something stopped him."

"Maybe he doesn't think you feel the same."

"I don't know. I don't want to because he's in a boyband, for crying out loud."

"So?"

Paige shook her head and Bella knew exactly what she meant. They sat there, in silence once again, amidst the dreary atmosphere of the empty cafe they were sitting in.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Zack! Alex! Can you two please just pay attention? And you two as well, Jack, Rian, heads off the table before I slap you upside them. I don't care if you are both hungover."

"Sorry, Matt." Alex and Zack both chimed in unison.

"S.. sorry, M-Matt.." Rian mumbled, his body jerking as he gagged. Jack just had no response until Rian slapped his arm. "Wake up, you dick."

"What the hell is up, you guys? Right, look. We need to go over all of this stuff. Now pay some fucking attention." Matt was getting angry. He rarely ever got angry.

Eventually, the four boys all seemed to wake up and plans were discussed and what they were going to do when they got back home. They decided they weren't going to start the tour just yet, they were going to give it a while. But they had to go back home to do some more promotional work. Matt high-fived Rian and Jack as they traipsed out of Matt's hotel room, probably going to sleep for a million years.

"Er, you two. Stop. What the fuck is wrong?"

"Nothing." Once again, in unison.

"Don't bullshit to me, tell me the truth. Is it those girls you've been seeing?"

"Yeah - wait, how did you know?" Zack said with a look of confusion.

"Rian and Jack haven't been drunk the WHOLE time. They've been good in letting me know where 50% of this band are. Considering the said 50% didn't bother."

Both Alex and Zack blushed slightly.

"Why don't you bring them along?"

"Because it isn't right." Alex frowned.

"Name me something "right" you boys have done in the past week. If they mean that much to you, just do it. You'll be at home for a few weeks anyway, there is time to spend with them."

"Where can they stay though?" Zack questioned.

"Alex?"

A smile spread across Alex's face as he realised what Matt was talking about. Zack looked at the both of them, knowing smiles planted there. It took him a few seconds, but finally he realised too.

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