If These Sheets Were States

14. Get a Grip and Get Out, You're Safe

Bella woke slowly, stirring as the sunlight shone through her window once again. Where was she? This wasn't her familiar surrounding.. Bella lifted her head carefully, smiling at the body that was placed next to her. She felt the grip around her waist and her back, and grinned, suddenly realising where she was and who was lying next to her.

"Good morning sleepy."

"Mmm, good morning." Bella yawned and stretched, as Alex reluctantly let go.

"How did you sleep?" Alex asked, his eyes heavy.

"It was alright. Nothing better than usual, apart from the best snuggles all night, haha. Did you not sleep?"

"No." Alex looked stern, looking up and staring into space, staring at the blank wall next to Bella's bed. There was a small stain of blood on the wall that he'd been focusing on all night.

"How come?"

"Just.. everything you told me. It got to me and I don't know how or why. I've taken it all way too personally and I just want to protect you and never let you go. I guess I stayed awake in case you woke up in the night and needed me."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you." Bella sat up, pulling herself away from Alex's body.

"Don't be silly, I'm glad you told me everything. I wanted to know so I asked and I'm happy that you trusted me enough to tell me."

Bella climbed over Alex, scrambling out of the bed to get away from him. She'd opened up to him and whilst it felt like the right thing to do last night, she felt like an idiot for trusting herself. She trusted him but she just didn't trust herself. She walked over to the big mirror that was on her wall and stood in front of it, staring at her reflection and questioning everything about herself. Alex sneaked up behind her and rested his head on her shoulder, looking at her in the mirror. Bella turned her head slightly to look at him too, both of them standing there not saying anything but understanding how each other felt. Bella warily put her hand to the side, wondering whether or not it was the right thing to do. Alex felt the movement of Bella's shoulder and glanced down, seeing an outstretched arm. He reached his hand across to hold. They stood there, gazing at each other in the mirror, holding hands, neither of them speaking a word.

Alex broke the silence, which Bella found strangely relaxing. It was the most silence she'd ever heard in a long time; her mind never stopped screaming at her, but for now it had, and that's all she'd ever asked for.

"I want you to do something for me. You can say 'no' if you want, but I'd rather you didn't."

"What?"

"I want you to show me."

"Show you what?"

"What do you think, Bella?" Alex whispered in her ear, sending shivers down her spine. For some reason, she couldn't help but bite her lower lip at the sound of him saying her name, in such a.. forbidden way, so it seemed.

"I don't.. know.. if I c-can.." The nerves came back to bite Bella in the ass. "Why do you.. want to see?"

"I just do. I can't explain it."

Bella turned around fully to look at Alex, his look as serious as she'd never seen on anybody. Her lip quivered as she contemplated the idea. "I just.." Bella looked down then as soon after, looked up and shook her head. "Y'know what?" Bella pulled at the bottom of her pyjama shirt, tugging it over her head, as Alex took a few steps backwards and Bella positioned herself in the middle of the room.