If These Sheets Were States

34. Unanswered Questions Will be the Only Thing to Stop Them Now

"Bella, I need to talk to you about something. And I know that neither of us are going to like it."

"What?" Bella frowned as she pulled her shirt back over her head, turning around to face Alex, a worried expression on her face.

"She is so fucking beautiful." Alex thought to himself. "I can't do this to her." He let himself just stare at her beauty, forgetting that he had scared her half to death and wasn't replying.

"Hello?" Bella waved a hand in front of his face.

He shook his head, almost cartoon-like as he appeared to snap out of his trance. "Bella.. I.. we.."

"Alex, just spit it out. Please. Do you not wanna be with me anymore?"

"No! I mean, yes! Wait.. no, I mean I DO want to be with you." Alex quietly thought to himself about the day that he and Bella would get married. Maybe it was too soon to be thinking about that, but he didn't give a damn. He wanted her to be Mrs. Bella Gaskarth. He wanted it all. He wanted her forever and a day. "Bella.. we have to leave.."

"Why? To go where - oh. You mean.." Realisation of what Alex was talking about hit, and Bella gulped sadly, a knot in her stomach that was tightening with every step that Alex took closer to her.

"Yes. All Time Low are heading off. In a couple of days or so and I don't want to leave you behind. I love you, Bella. I just.. I just don't know what to do."

"I want to come with you."

"Bella, no -"

"Why?"

"Well first of all, your education?"

"I only go to pass the time."

"Bella, I can't expect you to just run away with me."

"But I want to."

"Bella.. as much as I really fucking want you to, I can't let -"

"Alex, I can't stay here without you. You've shown me life these last few days. You've opened my eyes. And all for what? You to fuck off and leave me here?"

"It's not like that, and you know it."

"No, I know it isn't. But it is how it would feel. Because I am insecure. And I am clingy. And I'm in love with you, already."

"And you're being silly, I can't -"

"Look, if you don't want -" The conversation was cut off by the sound of a phone ringing. Alex felt his leg vibrate as Bella turned around, sighing and trying to hold back tears, that had formed at the thought of Alex just upping and leaving. She knew he didn't want to, but she knew he didn't really have a choice. But the thought of Alex just leaving her behind was one she could not handle.

"Yes, I know. Alright Matt. Get off my fucking case, man! Yeah, bye!" Alex slammed his finger repeatedly on the 'End call' button, with frustration all over his face. "Fucking wanking prick."

"What's wrong, baby?"

"Just Matt having a go."

"Why?"

"Because I haven't been at the hotel in a while and there's a ton of stuff we need to go over before we.. before we.. er.. leave." Alex choked on the words, fighting back the sick feeling in the back of his throat. He daren't look Bella in the eye, because he knew that she was close to tears. If not already crying.

And that would break his heart, right there and then.

"Oh." Bella coughed as she choked on the tears. "I guess I should let you go back to the hotel then. Would you like a lift?"

"If you don't mind, baby."

Bella nodded silently, no words left in her mind or her throat. She felt numb. Again. It had returned.

"Bella, I don't want to go."

"You have to."

"I know. But it doesn't mean I want to."

Bella hummed as they walked to her car. Unbelievable. Just an hour ago, they were having the most crazy sex.. no, they were making love. It was crazy but it was romantic at the same time. And now, here they were and Bella was at breaking point.

Neither of them could look at each other.

"Bella, can you promise me something?"

"Depends." Bella said bluntly as she switched on the engine and belted up.

"I know we aren't leaving for a couple of days or so, but I know that you'll go home and think about it. And I know that it will upset you. And I know that it will tempt you. Please. Promise me you won't do anything?"

"Alex, I don't want you to go." Bella looked at Alex for the first time in what felt like years. A single tear streaming down her cheek.

"That didn't answer my question." Alex returned the look, a frog in his throat as his voice croaked. He reached forward for Bella's face, cupping it with one hand and wiping the flowing tear away with his thumb.

"I can't.. promise.. I can't promise that, Alex. While I wish to high hell that I could, I can't.. I just can't."

Alex leaned over and pressed a kiss against her lips.

Sgs?j