Meeting Deception (Gerard Way Fanfic)

Chapter Nine

So many thoughts were running through my mind at this moment. Honestly, how come the first time she leaves the house she gets into trouble like this? If she's supposed to help me all the time, how am I supposed to help her? She literally gives me no responsibilities, either, she doesn't trust me with a phone, she doesn't trust me to go out on my own, heck, she doesn't even trust me with keys to the house. Yet she's trusting in me to find her? To possibly save my life? Since she's never given me any responsibilities I don't think I could handle one as big as this. I'm worried about her. What if I'm too late anyways? What if she's already dead, and I have no way of knowing anything? Oh God, I felt the tears trickling down my cheeks, my face heating up, my heart rate increasing by the second. I won't be able to save her, after all the times she's saved me, and I'm a helpless child. A pathetic orphan. Everyone who knew anything about me knew that I wouldn't be capable of anything but depending on someone my whole life. And once they're gone, I am too.

I fell to the ground sobbing uncontrollably, wondering what I'm even supposed to do. Should I get Gerard? I don't even know where he lives. I don't even have his number, which was stupid of me. Never leave anything up to me, I'll just ruin it. Just like Lynda said, I ruin everything. Okay, she might've not said that exactly, but I know that's what she meant.

Whatever, I'm just going to go out the door and try to see if Gerard is anywhere to be found. But what if that's how Lynda got kidnapped? Oh god, what if someone is waiting outside of my door, ready to snatch me up, kill me, possibly rape me, leave me for dead like I was left for dead when I was a mere child. I can't leave. I'm stuck in this house. Its getting close to sunset, Lynda could be anywhere now and I wouldn't know where she is. This is the most stress I've ever had to endure in my life.

Why does everyone have to leave me? Everyone always gets ripped away from me, literally. I bet soon Gerard will realize he's better than me and leave me too. The realization of all of this made me cry out, scream out, knowing that I'll stay alone my whole life.

I felt snot fall out of my nose, tears run past my mouth, I felt myself choke on my spit and cough it out. I was wheezing, and coughing, sobbing and crying. I felt as if I'd pass out any moment. I was so helpless, hopeless, I had nothing to live for. I might as well end my life now. Why not now? Lynda can't stop me, she could be dead. But before I made a decision, I remembered one last factor.

Lynda might not be dead.

She could still be alive, fighting for her life, I know she's strong, if she could deal with all of this, having to actually put her life on hold for me all these years, then she can fight this one battle alone. But she won't have to go in alone. I'm going to be with her every step of the way. I need to suck it up, like she has for me all our lives. Do it for Lynda.

I wiped away my tears and snot. I took one more huge sniff to get the boogers away, which was actually a bad idea because my nose began to burn. it didn't matter though. I put on random clothes, not caring for my appearance and marched through the door. Thankfully, nobody was standing at my door.

How can I find Lynda?

I looked around the streets, and saw a gas station. All I needed was a stranger's phone. I went into the quick trip gas station and asked a cashier for his phone. Once he gave it to me I typed in Lynda's phone number and text her. It was very risky, but I had to try anything.

"547 Milky Way Avenue. Come find us ;)," the text read.

"Us?" I whispered to myself. I looked up at the cashier, realizing he was beginning to get impatient. I gave him an apologetic look, scribbled the address on my hand and gave him his phone back. I rushed out of the gas station and started sprinting down the street.