Meeting Deception (Gerard Way Fanfic)

Chapter Five

The conversation with Lynda went well. I'm actually very glad this happened. I had finally forgiven someone, my heart feels cleansed. Even if it's only one thing that I did, I'm content with it. 

"Uhm, Eden? About seeing someone..." Lynda started.

"I don't want to talk about it," I simply said. To my surprise she actually dropped it this time.

I shrugged it off and sat on the bed. Today has been a long day, all I wanted was to sleep it off and wait for tomorrow to roll around so I can see Gerard again.

I kept that thought in my head for a while.

What are the odds I have a dream about Gerard Way and suddenly it comes true? I'm probably the happiest girl in the world. He actually has an interest in me. Maybe he just pities me, though. Yeah, that's probably it. Nobody has ever became my friend without feeling sorry for me, because I'm just an extremely pitiful person. If someone takes one look at me they can tell my background story. Everyone knows almost everything about me. Don't ask me how, they just do.

No worries, I'll ponder over it tomorrow.

~

When I woke up, the sun was beaming streams of light through the curtains. The first thing that came to my mind was Gerard. It had been five o'clock PM when we met. We agreed to meet at the same time we had met yesterday evening. It was 11:00 AM at the moment, I've never slept so peacefully. I usually always wake up from a nightmare late at night. Perhaps it was the comfort of knowing I'd be with Gerard today. He truly was an amazing person, I didn't understand why people could ignore him. He's always been my inspiration, the one that I looked up to. I'm so proud of him, for achieving life, and now I get to be a part of his life, and he doesn't even seem to mind. 

Now, then. What were I to do these seven hours while waiting to see Gerard again? I could listen to music, perhaps. Maybe even read a book, which is something very hard to do. Books have always bored me. I honestly couldn't care less about them if I tried. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love learning new things, but reading fictional books is a little too much for me. I will probably never understand how how people could possibly be interested in novels like Harry Potter, it's all make believe. If you hang around anything for too long, you'll get attached, and you'll never want to let go of it. I really should have kept my distance from Lynda, and meeting with Gerard today probably isn't the best idea, either. Yes, I know I'm being hypocritical, but honestly, it's Gerard Way. I had loved him since my early years. I've been attached all these years. Now that I've actually met him, there's no way I'm letting him get out of my life that easily.

And Lynda? Without her, I would have been dead since the day I escaped from the orphanage. She has been an amazing help to me, and somehow found some interest in me. I honestly don't know what I have done to intrigue her. If I had seen myself that day sitting against the dumpster I would have sped my pace up and try to go unnoticed just in case I asked for help or something. I know, I'm selfish even to myself. I deserve it. I'm allowed to be rude to myself, because I've caused everyone else such trouble, and it isn't fair to them.

As much as I hate admitting it, I'm just an awful person. There really are no excuses. Nobody else is as horrible as me, I bet. Funny, though, for such an awful person like me I'm drowning myself in pity for me because I know how terrible I am. Selfish, right?

I must remember, though, we're imperfect. We are all imperfect and make mistakes. I just happen to make them more often than everyone else. I'm so pitiful.

As I was drowning in my thoughts, I suddenly got the idea of what to do.

I stood up from my bed and went into the bathroom. I stared at myself in the mirror. Ugh. I looked disgusting. My hair was all tangled, my shirt wrinkled and stained because it hasn't been in the wash for a while which isn't actually a good thing. I was wearing some comfortable shorts, that were revealing way too much skin. I'd never walk around in public with booty shorts, doing as what people nowadays call it, "strut". I honestly don't see how girls have so much self confidence. I hate my body.