Meeting Deception (Gerard Way Fanfic)

Chapter Two

"Do you want to tell me about your dream?" Lynda asked quietly as I was still sitting on the bathroom floor with her.

I shook my head slowly and looked down at my milk. I didn't want to tell her my dreams. My dreams were so stupid and terrible, I didn't feel the need to burden her with my problems. I already knew I had problems. She knew, too, but I was never clear on what exactly was wrong with me, I was unsure myself anyways. 

I've always felt alone, like nobody wants to help me. If someone did I think I would have been fixed by now. I mean, a seventeen year old girl doesn't even know her problems? That's got to be a new record. No way, no how, is there someone older than me that doesn't know their problems. I should know this, why haven't I figured out what's my problem?! Why was life so complicated, anyways? I don't know anything about myself, I bet Lynda knows a whole lot more about me than even herself! Everyone knows everything about me, but me. Nobody wanted to tell me, they thought I can't handle it. I can handle it. I know I can.

Maybe there's nothing even wrong with me. Maybe I'm just paranoid. No, I can't be paranoid. Paranoia is a disorder, and I'm perfectly fine. There's actually nothing wrong with me! I've just been thinking there was something wrong, since I don't know anything about myself! I'm not paranoid of anything, nobody is out to get me. It's only in my dreams do I think this anyways. 

I think I've been pondering too hard on this, because Lynda stood up.

"I really want you to think about what I just told you, Eden," Lynda whispered.

Think about what?! Didn't she see I was deep in thought? She should have known, she knows everything about me! I didn't bother asking her what it was so I just nodded to her and she nodded also and stepped out of the restroom.

I stood up after I finished my milk, stumbling a bit before I went back to normal. I opened the bathroom door and walked out, squinting my eyes to adjust to the large ray of sunlight beaming through the window. I swear, I almost hissed at the sight of it. After my eyes became used to the light, I sat down onto my bed. I honestly hated living here. Lynda and I moved in together after her eighteenth birthday, anything to get away from my crazy father. 

If I remember clearly, he was suicidal. It's been years since I've seen him, he was sent to a mental hospital for being Schizophrenic. Apparently, it runs in my family, but I've seen no signs of it whatsoever. I think it was a cruel joke, nobody ever liked my father. I was scared of him, but it didn't mean I never loved him. I still do love him, I'm just afraid of the things he may do to me or himself if I'm around. It's why we had to bring him to the Institution in the first place. He always said he saw his clone, claimed they were best friends. I hadn't seen anything, because like I said, I'm not crazy. 

I've always felt bad for him though... I remember the last thing he told me too.

"You're just like me," he said. I had that stuck in my head for months. I kept trying to convince myself I was normal. I wasn't like him. It didn't run through my blood, I was not sick, nor suicidal, nor Schizophrenic, nor depressed. I had no disorders. No diseases. 

Lately, though, I've been thinking There probably was something wrong with me. I probably was sick. I had the craziest thoughts in my head that I don't think anyone has thought up of before. But I knew better than that, I'm not weird. I'm... different. There's a huge difference.

I lay my head down onto my pillow, trying to relax and get comfortable. I looked over at Lynda who was deep into some book that I didn't bother looking at because honestly, I didn't care for reading. It's just a bunch of fictional characters doing stupid things. I sometimes didn't see why people cried after reading a book anyways. I know, something is emotional in the book, but it isn't real! People really need a reality check sometimes, if they let their emotions get the best of them in a little book, they don't stand a chance in the real world. It's why I mask my emotions. I haven't cried since I was ten. I realized I need to be stronger than that, because frankly, I was a ridiculous little girl who didn't know anything. Now I know much more, I am capable of more things. I know I am, but I want to learn more about myself before I try any crazy stuff. I think Lynda is catching on, she knows I don't know anything about myself. She won't tell me anything about me either, like I said earlier. It's been pissing me off, though. What kind of friend is she if she doesn't tell me about myself? Is she scared or something? There's nothing to be scared of. It's only me.