We Aren't Nerds! {{PETEKEY}}

{{6}}

It wasn't okay, but Mikey was trying his best to convince himself, that it was. He wished that he hadn't been able to open up to Pete so easily, and that the last few minutes could have been slightly less awkward. Neither of them said anything, they just sat there, looking everywhere apart from at each other.

Pete was first to break the awkward silence. He didn't know what he was supposed to say to make it better, or what would be completely inappropriate. He took a deep breathe and tried to resume the conversation like nothing quite as dramatic had happened. His attempt wasn't all that successful, but it was an attempt nonetheless.

"Like that, huh?" he said, sighing, "What is it about me that you like?"
"Pete, I..." Mikey mumbled, "I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have said anything..."
"Oh, no, I mean, don't worry about it, honestly. We're still friends... I guess?"

In that moment, Mikey Way was more than certain that he would have preferred being dead to having this conversation. Of course he still wanted to be friends with Pete, but he didn't want him to say it like that, like he could ignore it completely and move on. Mikey didn't think he could move on so quickly, or at all, actually. He knew it would be for the best, but, even though Pete had just friendzoned him, he still felt like he liked him.

It was painful, but wasn't showing any signs of getting worse. All Mikey could do was sit there with Pete and wait until Patrick came out of the lunch hall. He wasn't hungry, and would rather do anything else than go into the lunch hall with Pete. Not because it would have been awkward, but because he didn't want to look at anyone else. Mikey was almost certain all he wanted to do was sit and look at Pete for a while, even if it was weird.

"Mikey," Pete said, acknowledging the other boy's prolonged silence, "I'm really sorry, I just think we should be friends for a while first, you know?"
"What do you..." Mikey said, slightly confused by what that meant, "You don't hate me?"
"Of course not, I couldn't, and I definitely shouldn't. I think you're just getting a squish mixed up with a crush, but that's okay, lots of people do."

Mikey had no idea what a squish was, but he wanted nothing to do with it. Having a squish on someone sounded less respectable than having a crush on them, and Mikey wanted to be respected. A squish did not sound like something anyone should have, it just felt wrong. A crush wasn't the most respectable thing either, but at least it didn't sound stupid. Mikey could feel everyone starting to respect him less just by thinking about having squishes. He really was confused about what squish meant, and whether Pete might have been right about it.

Mikey shook his head and turned to face Pete again. He sighed and opened his mouth to speak again, but Patrick came out of the nearby doors and made his way over to sit with them. He was smiling a little too much for Mikey's liking, but, of course, he had no idea of the conversation that he and Pete had just had.

"Are you guys okay?" Patrick asked, noticing their less than happy faces, "You look really down."
"We're fine," Pete lied, putting on the world's most obvious fake smile, but somehow managing to fool Patrick, "I think I'm going to sit here with Mikey for a few more minutes, if you don't mind."

Patrick didn't look happy, and clearly did mind, but he shook his head and walked back to Andy and Joe. Pete and Mikey were alone together again, and able to carry on sitting in their mutual, awkward silence.

"What's a squish?" Mikey asked, unable to contain the question anymore.
"It's like a crush, but it's not romantic," Pete explained, "you see someone and desperately want to be their friend. It's a pretty easy feeling to mix up with a normal crush."
"Oh," Mikey said, thinking about it for a second, "I don't know, maybe you're right..."
"We barely know each other, it would be almost wrong for it to be an actual crush. If you think it is though, that's fine, it's okay. I still think we should get to know each other a little better though."

Mikey nodded, Pete was right, of course Pete was right. He was definitely in a position to have more knowledge on the subject than he was, after all, he was older. Mikey didn't like that thought, he'd never really been friends with anyone older than himself, and it was kind of weird for him. Not a bad weird, though, just different.

Mikey desperately wanted it to be a crush, not because he liked the idea of dealing with the constant pain that came along with it, but because he didn't want to be wrong about himself. If he couldn't be sure about himself, he couldn't be sure of anything else, and he didn't like that thought. Mikey liked to know things, knowledge was power.

He wasn't sure of when he'd become so obsessed with knowing things, but Mikey definitely liked knowing things, and being sure of them. It wasn't a bad thing to like, but it was annoying when he couldn't find things out. This 'crush' was bothering him a lot, he really hated not knowing if it was a crush or not. Mikey didn't want to think he could be wrong about himself, but he was beginning to think he might have to learn to accept it.

"If we need to get to know each other better..." Mikey said, thinking of a question to ask, "What's your favourite colour?"
Pete sighed, "You can't force it, Mikey. I really do like you, just not like that. If you just leave it, something will happen naturally, I promise."
"What's your favourite colour, Pete? Please, remind me...?"
"Blue, it has lots of shades and they all mean different things."

Mikey smiled as brightly as he could manage. It was too fake to really mean anything to Pete, but he understood what Mikey was trying to do. He wouldn't have been as confused if it wasn't as awkward or difficult as it was, though. He could tell the other boy wasn't made for social interaction, but he really didn't mind.

Pete was worried that Mikey might have thought he didn't like him. He really did, but he was completely startled by Mikey's sudden confession. Pete wanted to be Mikey's friend, but he didn't think it was going to be easy now there was an awkward feeling between the two of them. Neither of them knew what they should say.

Meanwhile, outside the arts block, Patrick, Andy and Joe were eagerly discussing what they were going to do. All three of them agreed that Pete was more interested in Mikey than he was in them, but none of them were sure what to do about it. They didn't want to kick Pete out of their group, but they didn't want him there anymore, either.

"He likes Michael," Joe said, "that's obvious, but does he still like us?"
"I'm not sure," Andy said, shaking his head, "he doesn't dislike us, but I feel like we're not as important to him."
"It's only been a day," Patrick said, "he hasn't really ignored us, he's just talking to Michael..."

Andy and Joe sighed, and carried on the discussion themselves. They knew Patrick would defend Pete until the day he died, and, while it was cute, wasn't helpful when they were talking about him. Of course they didn't hate him, they just needed to talk about him, and how their friendship was going to be from now on. Andy and Joe really wanted it to be the same as it had been, but they couldn't see it being that way with Mikey there.

Pete and Patrick were best friends, they always had been and, Patrick hoped, at least, they always would be. Seeing Pete with Mikey was painful for Patrick, as he'd never had anyone else trying to be Pete's best friend before. He wasn't really sure how he was supposed to deal with what he was feeling, or what to say to Pete.

Patrick wanted to go back up to Pete and tell him everything he was feeling, and everything he wanted to say to him, but he couldn't. He didn't want to burst in on him and Mikey having an important conversation, and make Pete hate him. He knew he shouldn't have risked it, but he did. Patrick got up and walked back over to where Pete and Mikey had been talking, hoping that he wouldn't see or hear anything that he wasn't supposed to.

"Pete!" Patrick yelled, he saw Pete and Mikey still sitting at their bench, but noticed they weren't talking.

Pete looked up and saw Patrick. He looked over to Mikey, who was still looking towards the ground, frowning, and forced out a smile. He then walked over to Patrick, curious about what he wanted to say.

"Please don't leave me for Michael, okay?" Patrick said, hugging Pete tightly.
"Of course I won't," Pete said, rubbing Patrick's back, "you're my best friend, you always will be."

Mikey heard the whole conversation, and tried his best to not feel jealous. Pete and Patrick were best friends, and he was going to have to deal with it, even if it was hard.